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letting go which is an act of will by the ego perhaps letting whatever may happen happen is the best approach others might quibble that egolessness is not the goal there is no goal still others might find yet another facet to disagree with just for the heck of it i have no answer to this debate there is debate there is controversy there is factionalism there is right there is wrong there is neutrality even the best and healthiest ego doesn t always know what s best for it the most deliberately moral person constantly trying to do the next right thing can get it wrong through a lack of perspective and surprisingly the wrong choice can open wide garage sized doors of opportunity the twists of the story are multifarious unexpected and perfect there is no right or wrong should probably be taken with a grain of salt and understood in the context that in immediate presence or whatever we re calling it today there are no labels whatsoever no concepts no judgements and we are then free to make of the story what we will this is a long clip but hang in there it s worth it an interesting story of right and wrong is anne sullivan right to be so brutal with helen is this the only way to break through helen s somehow admirable stubbornness a magnificent tour de force from both patty duke and anne bancroft who both won oscars for their performances i can t help but wonder every time i watch this well to film it must have been taxing but what about performing it on stage eight times a week enjoy posted by no one in particular at 10 52 32 comments sunday 10 june 2012 better far off than near be ne er the near there seems to be some restlessness in the nondual community if it can even be referred to in that way with some teachers who are insightful to a degree that does not tolerate the seeker or teacher enlightened only to the degree of glimpses dig around in traditional eastern enlightenment practices such as buddhism zen buddhism jainism part of hinduism and of course the darling of the western interpretation advaita vedanta again part of hinduism one will find that various stages of enlightenment are named and described arahant buddhism turiya or nirvikalpa hinduism or reaching the source zen buddhism are usually what is described as the highest level both self and teacher are forgotten not just oneness is apprehended but the nothinginess that is what truly is hence the title of this blog most of these traditions describe reaching the last stage as nirvana a concept at least a little familiar to the west note that this last stage in zen is not the final stage after it comes returning to the marketplace the restlessness seems to be impatience with teacher seekers at some earlier stage that are presenting themselves in an annoying fashion at nonduality meetings as further along than they are suffering from delusions of grandeur or as egoless when ego is evident i gather this is de rigueur for seekers jumping the gun in this way some seekers apparently get a big glimpse and immediately start to teach with little foundation for it there s a lot of lovey doveyness around which is probably stage two or three of most of these traditional practices where the illusion of subject object has been noted and the awakening human is infatuated with the oneness of it all i suppose i describe the absolute source or whatever with the blog title phrase nothing exists despite appearances this is simply the phraseology that seemed closest at the time it s a poor description as they all must be concepts never being what they describe it all seems to unfold just as it must this includes some teachers impatience with the advaita circus and desire for only those who realise what stage they re at thus displaying a little humility to ask for their help there is little difference if any between meeting the realised sage that seems to transfer some kind of energetic awakening by his mere presence the purported goal of satsang and a nice chat with the guy you meet by chance on a walk to the shops there is no importance to attending a nonduality gathering and ascertaining which teachers speakers are frauds what stage everyone is at whether one person is further along than someone else who s in it for the money who s in it for the fame who s in it for the glory or who s in it to try and help most of them it makes absolutely no difference whether there actually are stages of enlightenment or not all of these things are fascinating stories and judgements but that s all they are each and every apparent experience or lack of experience or shoe tying incident or bodily elevation to nirvana are entirely equal worthy valid and ultimately non existent if we re operating on the premise that reality is illusory this includes superseding reality in some nifty beyond beyondness way it includes even the lack of an experience and complete return to the source no matter how important our mind with its love of hierarchy makes it or how hard we work for these magnificent achievements everything that is or isn t is the same thing or lack of thing nobody or no non person is doing any better than anyone else what i notice at these nonduality gatherings is a lot of sufferers that need reassurance teachers that are doing the best they can at whatever stage they may or may not be at and a fair few seekers who are neglecting friends children long tolerant spouses their education their bills etc for this dream of true beyondness and the absolute best way to be or not be i couldn t say what stage i m at probably either completely stage one if that totally ego enmeshed and deluded or a full bodhisattva who has been to nirvana done that and chooses to remain human in order to help others or something in between it doesn t matter one whit which one it is or isn t they are all the same thing i keep saying favourite movie but this time it s really really true i first saw eternal sunshine of the spotless mind on a long plane ride and ended up watching it three or four times brilliant premise there exists a company that can wipe certain persons from your memory clementine decides to do this with joel her ex boyfriend and joel follows suit in a fit of pique however mid procedure joel decides he doesn t want to forget clementine and does his best to hide her memory as they are busy wiping her out spoilers follow in the end they find out about each other and the procedure after having met again after the memory wipes by chance they know why the relationship didn t work out but they don t care they decide to go through it all again this is the scene where they decide to do this and the whole film is the most glorious celebration of the value of getting things wrong watch the film if you haven t it s also satisfying to see jim carrey in a non gurning role posted by no one in particular at 08 54 23 comments thursday 7 june 2012 but had a rougher task in hand than to drive liking to the name of love so many paths so little time what to do next meditate achieve stillness see the absolute and attain continuous nondual perception all of those simultaneously nondual perception is this perception there is no other perception you are already there you are already that this is it etc etc maybe the thoughts coming up and what they are saying about this is what you are mistaking for this although those thoughts are also seamlessly this there will be many people who write about this stuff me included occasionally who recommend methods for clearing the thoughts up or for not believing the thoughts the thoughts come just try to stop them but just as the images of the film happen on the still screen the still screen is there no matter what nonsensical plot twists and turns unfold on it you don t even particularly have to tune out the movie and sense only the screen it s there no matter what you can believe it or not it s there nobody believes that this ordinary everyday perception is what enlightened life is it must be more special more perfect more blissful more loving certainly with fewer thoughts and even less judgement whatever reality seems to be and whatever thought judges and interprets it as is yet another face of love or of god or of the absolute it just is it s doesn t get any better or worse than what it is what it is is miraculous by virtue of its mere existence sometimes this seems more obvious than at other times all times are one all states and interpretations are equal all acts happenings feelings sensations and thoughts are love playing the duality game so that they may be manifest so that they may be something rather than nothing perhaps it is problematic to have certain expectations and narrow definitions of what life must be like on the other hand perhaps suffering due to these expectations and definitions are exactly what must be if it is it must be often those who have the memory of suffering would not trade it for anything it seems precious and is often seen as the story of a springboard suffering then redemption hard work then rest however it doesn t matter what the story seems to be or how it is retold with hindsight all stories are told now while waiting for enlightenment if you don t believe enlightenment is already the case perhaps it s a good idea to do the best possible job you can do however that is defined at the time with the task in hand whatever it seems to be if it seems to be bridging the gap between me over here and you over there don t be afraid to judge that noble ah the task in hand phil connors gets ample time to explore several tasks as he relives the same day over and over in the classic film groundhog day there are many estimates as to how long phil relived february 2nd anything from 8 to 50 years with 10 000 years mentioned on one site a representative estimate is here i always thought it was interesting that phil managed to achieve intimacy in his relationships without the usual facility of memory and continuity on everybody else s part anyway maybe it takes time to learn to play the piano but perhaps bridging that imagined gap between people is always already done working on a relationship in time is also worthy both are possible posted by no one in particular at 15 39 11 comments wednesday 16 may 2012 all great fears which now import their dangers would then be nothing there is a lot of talk amongst nonduality teachers and writers about integration about having an awakening experience and then living life in accordance to this new perspective or point of view or lack of a point of view conversely there is much talk about there not being any goals at all or indeed anything at all reality is illusory especially the apparent moment in which some awakening experience seems to happen there is guru bashing and also encouragement to find the right guru or teacher there is much emphasis put upon the concept that there can be no teacher or experience that can get you any closer to what you already are the importance of meditation is often stressed and firmly so i e by the latest speaker on buddha at the gas pump the significance of the absence of thought and thus allowing present awareness to be more obvious than usual seems to imply that a certain state of mind is necessary for awakening or enlightenment to occur apparently the flavour of eastern traditions ones that minutely dissect all meditative experience and states of consciousness and puts them in a prioritised hierarchy suffuses the content of some speakers teachers and writers this flavour hints at glimpses being inferior and that a more concrete lasting state sometimes labelled in western scientific fashion as persistent nondual awareness exists and is desirable and desire the tangled topic of desiring enlightenment surely a manifestation of ego identity wanting things to be just generally better gets garbled with eliminating desire through some force of will or with meditation such a lack of desire is sometimes labelled acceptance acceptance is sometimes dismissed as an act of will by the illusory identity assimilating these concepts the conclusion might very well be i can t win it s confusing and fascinating perhaps all concepts can be looked at as the interesting dualistic manifestation of human nature wanting to understand they may conflict but they arise from the same geothermal thought pool looking and feeling different but actually all the same thing such is the nature of what is seen heard and felt experienced and perceived thought and judged integration of the enlightened state of mind into daily life has been the goal of mankind since self awareness we try rules we try laws we try kindness we try instinct we keep trying and rarely consider that this is already integration self awareness gives rise to self indulgence with this clip this is my favourite comic scene from my favourite comic performance from my favourite comedic actress the great dyan cannon heaven can wait is showing occasionally on one of the sky film channels and the tivo is set to catch it next time around can t wait to share this one with the kids enjoy hysteria arises in awareness and arises with superb comic timing posted by no one in particular at 09 48 5 comments tuesday 20 march 2012 wherein i am false i am honest not true to be true we are all seeking and there is nothing wrong with that the emptiness the darkness the sense of being unfulfilled there is nothing wrong with these plights even in an end to seeking there arises many of the old conditioned responses but perhaps these are not so bothersome it wouldn t matter if they were it doesn t matter if they are there are many suggested paths some suggested more stridently than others and some requiring more stringent actions truth is plain at source and is everything everywhere but truth is malleable when concerned with ideas and concepts even the most scientific ones just pat your mind on its head and love its childlike need to have everything explained in an organised sensible fashion then just get on with it what ever it is there is no one path no not even the pathless path there is no ideal state of being other than what apparently is here and now there is no perfect story no way out no golden rules no absolute truths no perfect hints and no sure fire tips on how to live your life there is no perfect guru and no true religion there is just this and what is made of it by mind is neither here nor there just enjoy it be it live it try to fix it or don t improve the story or let it organically unfold try not to run away from it but even running away is the perfect action if that is what seems to be happening if you get it wrong let me know i have been shanghaied into watching every single episode of all eight seasons of entourage by my entourage mad husband and son the joy of it is the work of jeremy piven who plays ari gold the best agent in hollywood he is simply one of the best comedic actors working and i am a shamelessly big fan see his earlier work as the gay versace sa...