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Text of the page (random words):
sometime i m really impressed at her logic and problem solving abilities when she s trying to get what she wants but most of the time i m resisting the urge to duct tape her mouth shut most of the time though she only really persists when she can sense that i m wavering about whether or not to say no i m doubting myself or second guessing whether it s really a big deal the minute i show i m serious and take charge by telling her no now i ve said no and i mean it when have i ever said no and changed my mind she usually gives it up and there is the secret one thing i am inordinately smug about is the fact i have never ever said no to gg and then gone back on it no matter how big a tantrum she threw because i knew the minute i did all i was teaching her that no doesn t mean no it just means you have to throw a bigger wobbly til you get what you want i have trust capital now it means i have had to drag a screaming child out of many a shopping centre leave a nearly finished grocery shop and manhandle a squirming screeching and kicking alien life force out of the store it means i have had to stand at a door behind which i had confiscated something fun to play with like a power saw and physically hold it shut while a nearly 2yr old gg hung from the handle screaming with more decibels than a jet engine i can t even remember what i put behind that door but god i remember that tantrum curse door handles that don t lock and freakishly tall toddlers that could reach them do you know what though gg learned pretty quickly that tantrums don t get you anything except a time out she s not bratty or demanding she s learnt that the best way to get a treat is to behave nicely when we re out and then at the end of the trip ever so sweetly remind me how good she s been and do you think she could maybe get a lollipop i had fallen into the trap of doing this pretty consistently so she then expected a treat every time we went out nowadays it s more of a haphazard thing sometimes she does sometimes she doesn t she threw a couple of wobblies when i changed that up but nothing dramatic so why are so many parents afraid of their children why do they jump through hoops and turn themselves inside out lest their darling progeny chuck a fit and act all unseemly i think part of it is this whole indulgent parenting movement you know where parents seem to be an insipid servant catering to their indulged child s every whim rather than actually raising that child and teaching them important life lessons like they can t have everything they want think veruca in willy wonka i get how hard it is to see your child upset we re their parents we want to make them happy we also want to avoid the judgy mcjudge judge looks you get from random strangers when your little one chucks a tantrum and of course there are ways to help avoid your kids chucking wobblies when you re out and about avoid going out when they re going to be or already are tired or hungry or whatever sometimes though life does not fit neatly around nap time and you ve simply got shit you have to do even then there are things you can try bring a favourite toy along let them ride in a stroller or trolley rather than walk or give them something that isn t such a big deal let them have a ride on those carousel things in the shops rather than let them have a chocolate or soft drink of course whoopi is right though some days there is no avoiding the tantrum you can have done every thing right and still end up with a melted toddler puddle screaming at your feet or chucking cans off the grocery shelf this is a terrorist tactic to see how quickly you ll fold and i don t negotiate with terrorists i ve seen parents croon and try to console their children mid tantrum i ve seen them laugh it off and try to jolly them out of it and i ve even seen them give in and let them have the thing they wanted or something else or an ever better toy i ve also seen that none of those things work the only thing that works is to keep your energy low and calm if somewhat threatening in my case hey that s just how i roll when i m tense and ignore it the best thing to do is leave immediately but i get that sometimes you just have to get bills paid food to eat etc i ve done it ride it out the only big social rule i really believe in is that if your child is throwing a tantrum in a cafe restaurant or movie leave don t look round smiling apologetically don t laugh it off just get the hell out we re trying to relax and eat here come back later when little timmy is acting human again okay how did i cope with all these lavish displays of emotion pretty good i think as hard as it is to see your little one upset and crying part of you realises you are doing it for their own good in a big picture kind of sense and i just kind of grit my teeth and work hard to act like i m calm unmoveable a boulder in a stream with a river of emotion just washing around me i am unchanged although maybe a little worn down at the end posted by quixotic at 9 21 am 4 comments labels children parenting tantrums saturday november 13 2010 in which i put on my big girl knickers confrontation can be well confronting for me actually that s not completely true surprisingly if i get wound up enough getting really angry and tearing someone a new asshole is pretty easy i dont t have that thing where you walk away and suddenly think of all the things you wish you d said i tend to walk away thinking oh wow you made the truckie cry maybe you should have gone a bit easier what i find hard is to find that middle ground between being a avenging fury and meekly accepting something you re not happy with assertiveness i believe it s called and so today i am strutting around quite proud of myself because i have finally put on my big girl knickers and faced an awkward situation and confronted my hairdresser while all my female readers let out a knowing ahhhh let me explain for any male readers out there hairdressers are like priests you find yourself confessing secrets and chatting away about very intimate subjects like just today sex body image weight loss miscarriage and celebrity fake tans and when you find a good one you will go to extreme measures to stay with them i have been bereft of a good hairdresser relationship since i moved from brisbane ot the gold coast and so was thrilled when i turned up for an appointment today at a new salon the vibe was welcoming and stylish with a homespun feel the salon is a converted house the flowers were fresh and the cd playing was megan washington i e perfect i was further thrilled when i immediately clicked with my haidresser b and we were soon chatting away like old mates so when i left not feeling like i had got my money s worth i was a little shattered i have quite dark black hair at the moment after a short lived fascination with wanting to look like a latina bombshell sofia vergara and want to start going lighter as i have been most of my adult life ending up something like this jane allsop obviously this will be a bit of a process it won t happen overnight etc still i did think after dropping three hundred dollars at the hairdresser i might see a noticable difference i know it a massive amount of money but this was my little reclamation of my old self and my treat to myself a little luxury and pampering now that i am working and slogging my guts out during the week plus i am starting to feel more like my old self not the dark stressed girl of late so want my outside to reflect that too anyhoo enough validating when we had finished at the salon i was pretty dissapointed to see that yes my hair was a bit lighter overall but not so noticeably so i had expected after our discussion in the beginning that i would see more caramel pieces rather than just an being a slightly lighter shade overall i brought it up at the time but admittedly in a fairly wishy washy way i had come to really like b and i hoped to become a regular of the salon so i didn t really want to rock the boat too much or make her think i was mean or unappreciative is it just me or does it seem slightly silly that i am comfortable paying so much money out for something as ultimately trivial as hair but i can t have a grown up conversation and say i m not particularly happy about a service anyway b assured me that as my hair dried i would see it actually is a fair bit lighter i am really happy with the cut she gave me and my hair feels lovely after the treatement so i swallow my reservations hey maybe that s the real reason we put on weight thnak her pay my staggering bill and leave half an hour later i feel terrible i go to my aunt s house to pick up gg and notice her surprise that i spent 4 hours at the hairdresser and still look essentially the same i check out my now dry hair in the mirror and yep i can notice it s a little lighter but just barely by now i feel awful regretful horrified at the amount of money i had spent and hating myself for not speaking up i really wanted to go back in time or else go home and eat chocolate and pretend it never happened instead i slapped myself upside the head and gave myself a stern talking to quixotic you are a grown woman you are smart accomplished and resourceful stop acting like an insecure teenager and get your 33 year old butt back there and tell them you appreciate the effort she made love the cut but feel you haven t got value for money and want either half your money back or another head of foils for free feeling absolutely terrified i front back up to the salon b sees me and grins heading toward me with a questioning look ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod i feel 3 inches tall but the thought of all the things i could have done with 300 dollars keeps me from trilling maniacally just forgot a card and bolting out the door to safety i gather up all my courage and speak i tell her this is incredibly awkward for me i love what she s done but for the amount of money i paid i would have liked to see a more noticable difference i smile i giggle a little bit hysterically so shoot me but essentially keep it together b is an angel she stays calm and friendly brings her manager over and asks me exactly what i m unhappy with i am dying plus now i have another person present but swallow hard and again re iterate that i love my cut and am happy with what she s done so far but would ve expected to see more of a difference b explains exactly what she did for me and the manager agrees that yes that s what she would have done but also agrees my hair colour doesn t look that different i tell them i understand not everyone s hair reacts the same to colouring but nonetheless i would like to see more of a difference b suggests another head of foils in a few days with a more piece y look and some caramel highlights i resist the urge to tongue kiss b the manager agrees and i book another appointment feeling a rush of happiness that i have actually acted like a grown up proper big girl and calmly and assertively solved a problem rather than just slink home and dump a bottle of peroxide through my hair and avoid ever going within a 10km radius of that salon again b even thanked me for coming back because she d have hated for me to just leave it and be unhappy with her work now she gets a chance to give me what i want really resist the urge to tongue kiss b i felt empowered magnificent and not a tiny bit proud of myself i was also immensely pleased with the great service and professionalism b and her manager showed they have a brand new regular that s for sure the best part of all this that gg was with me during the whole conversation and got to see a woman stand up for herself confront a problem calmly and assertively and get a result all without being overly dramatic passive agressive abusive or shouty win win all round posted by quixotic at 4 43 pm 2 comments labels all consuming victory being a grown up confrontation customer service hair hairdressers monday november 8 2010 have a little faith well hi there after another marathon session of blog abstinence i thought it high time i wander back on over so how s things everyone good yeah cool oh me oh you know not much this and that running round after gg the usual oh there is one little thing i got a permanent job honestly the relief is amazing i feel a sense of security and hopefulness now that i can actually plan out a budget and do all those little things like buy food and electricity it s very full on i get up at 5 30am and rush rush rush til i put gg to bed at 7 30 8 00pm then i try and get some stuff done around the house quietly before i pass out at a nanna worthy bedtime it s not ideal but it s what we need right now so i imagine i will stick around til gg starts school in a little over a year thump what was that sound you wonder that was me falling out of my fucking chair that my tiny little baby will start school in a little over a year the last year of kid dom feels like it passed in oh about a week so it will be no time before i m covering books in contact and trying not to cry at the school gate there s no way i will subject her to before school care going to school after school care and then maybe an hour or so with mum before bed all whilst i m trying to get dinner bath her etc so we will have to re visit our situation then it s just not fair to her to start this major chater in her life without more support from me at least for now we can start paying off some debt and have a decent christmas this really couldn t have come at a better time i had been trying so hard to stay postive to trust that everything would work out but it had gotten to the point where i was starting to question myself was i a total idiot for thinking this way to trust in god or the universe or dr phil that everything would be okay if i had faith and stayed positve what sort of ludicrous deluded thinking is that shouldn t i be running around shrieking the sky is falling the sky is falling dissolving into hysterics and hating my life nope apparently not faith is the way to go it seems it ll just test your resolve til you get there a bit of an asshole faith is it seems playing with you like that toying with your emotions posted by quixotic at 10 28 pm 2 comments labels employment faith working mums wednesday october 13 2010 gold pure monster gold posted by quixotic at 3 28 pm 3 comments labels grover silliness wednesday september 29 2010 seal of approval a disoriented new zealand fur seal has been having a little holiday on the gold coast hanging out in tallebudgera creek see here i can just imagine the poor little blighter peering over at all the holidaying school kids and soccer mum paparazzi assembled thinking to himself what i can t have a holiday on the gold coast like every other kiwi posted by quixotic at 9 15 pm 2 comments sunday september 19 2010 second time s the charm okay calm down calm down everyone i know you re all excited to hear from me after so long but let s mainta...