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Text of the page (random words):
up with a melted toddler puddle screaming at your feet or chucking cans off the grocery shelf this is a terrorist tactic to see how quickly you ll fold and i don t negotiate with terrorists i ve seen parents croon and try to console their children mid tantrum i ve seen them laugh it off and try to jolly them out of it and i ve even seen them give in and let them have the thing they wanted or something else or an ever better toy i ve also seen that none of those things work the only thing that works is to keep your energy low and calm if somewhat threatening in my case hey that s just how i roll when i m tense and ignore it the best thing to do is leave immediately but i get that sometimes you just have to get bills paid food to eat etc i ve done it ride it out the only big social rule i really believe in is that if your child is throwing a tantrum in a cafe restaurant or movie leave don t look round smiling apologetically don t laugh it off just get the hell out we re trying to relax and eat here come back later when little timmy is acting human again okay how did i cope with all these lavish displays of emotion pretty good i think as hard as it is to see your little one upset and crying part of you realises you are doing it for their own good in a big picture kind of sense and i just kind of grit my teeth and work hard to act like i m calm unmoveable a boulder in a stream with a river of emotion just washing around me i am unchanged although maybe a little worn down at the end posted by quixotic at 9 21 am 4 comments labels children parenting tantrums saturday november 13 2010 in which i put on my big girl knickers confrontation can be well confronting for me actually that s not completely true surprisingly if i get wound up enough getting really angry and tearing someone a new asshole is pretty easy i dont t have that thing where you walk away and suddenly think of all the things you wish you d said i tend to walk away thinking oh wow you made the truckie cry maybe you should have gone a bit easier what i find hard is to find that middle ground between being a avenging fury and meekly accepting something you re not happy with assertiveness i believe it s called and so today i am strutting around quite proud of myself because i have finally put on my big girl knickers and faced an awkward situation and confronted my hairdresser while all my female readers let out a knowing ahhhh let me explain for any male readers out there hairdressers are like priests you find yourself confessing secrets and chatting away about very intimate subjects like just today sex body image weight loss miscarriage and celebrity fake tans and when you find a good one you will go to extreme measures to stay with them i have been bereft of a good hairdresser relationship since i moved from brisbane ot the gold coast and so was thrilled when i turned up for an appointment today at a new salon the vibe was welcoming and stylish with a homespun feel the salon is a converted house the flowers were fresh and the cd playing was megan washington i e perfect i was further thrilled when i immediately clicked with my haidresser b and we were soon chatting away like old mates so when i left not feeling like i had got my money s worth i was a little shattered i have quite dark black hair at the moment after a short lived fascination with wanting to look like a latina bombshell sofia vergara and want to start going lighter as i have been most of my adult life ending up something like this jane allsop obviously this will be a bit of a process it won t happen overnight etc still i did think after dropping three hundred dollars at the hairdresser i might see a noticable difference i know it a massive amount of money but this was my little reclamation of my old self and my treat to myself a little luxury and pampering now that i am working and slogging my guts out during the week plus i am starting to feel more like my old self not the dark stressed girl of late so want my outside to reflect that too anyhoo enough validating when we had finished at the salon i was pretty dissapointed to see that yes my hair was a bit lighter overall but not so noticeably so i had expected after our discussion in the beginning that i would see more caramel pieces rather than just an being a slightly lighter shade overall i brought it up at the time but admittedly in a fairly wishy washy way i had come to really like b and i hoped to become a regular of the salon so i didn t really want to rock the boat too much or make her think i was mean or unappreciative is it just me or does it seem slightly silly that i am comfortable paying so much money out for something as ultimately trivial as hair but i can t have a grown up conversation and say i m not particularly happy about a service anyway b assured me that as my hair dried i would see it actually is a fair bit lighter i am really happy with the cut she gave me and my hair feels lovely after the treatement so i swallow my reservations hey maybe that s the real reason we put on weight thnak her pay my staggering bill and leave half an hour later i feel terrible i go to my aunt s house to pick up gg and notice her surprise that i spent 4 hours at the hairdresser and still look essentially the same i check out my now dry hair in the mirror and yep i can notice it s a little lighter but just barely by now i feel awful regretful horrified at the amount of money i had spent and hating myself for not speaking up i really wanted to go back in time or else go home and eat chocolate and pretend it never happened instead i slapped myself upside the head and gave myself a stern talking to quixotic you are a grown woman you are smart accomplished and resourceful stop acting like an insecure teenager and get your 33 year old butt back there and tell them you appreciate the effort she made love the cut but feel you haven t got value for money and want either half your money back or another head of foils for free feeling absolutely terrified i front back up to the salon b sees me and grins heading toward me with a questioning look ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod i feel 3 inches tall but the thought of all the things i could have done with 300 dollars keeps me from trilling maniacally just forgot a card and bolting out the door to safety i gather up all my courage and speak i tell her this is incredibly awkward for me i love what she s done but for the amount of money i paid i would have liked to see a more noticable difference i smile i giggle a little bit hysterically so shoot me but essentially keep it together b is an angel she stays calm and friendly brings her manager over and asks me exactly what i m unhappy with i am dying plus now i have another person present but swallow hard and again re iterate that i love my cut and am happy with what she s done so far but would ve expected to see more of a difference b explains exactly what she did for me and the manager agrees that yes that s what she would have done but also agrees my hair colour doesn t look that different i tell them i understand not everyone s hair reacts the same to colouring but nonetheless i would like to see more of a difference b suggests another head of foils in a few days with a more piece y look and some caramel highlights i resist the urge to tongue kiss b the manager agrees and i book another appointment feeling a rush of happiness that i have actually acted like a grown up proper big girl and calmly and assertively solved a problem rather than just slink home and dump a bottle of peroxide through my hair and avoid ever going within a 10km radius of that salon again b even thanked me for coming back because she d have hated for me to just leave it and be unhappy with her work now she gets a chance to give me what i want really resist the urge to tongue kiss b i felt empowered magnificent and not a tiny bit proud of myself i was also immensely pleased with the great service and professionalism b and her manager showed they have a brand new regular that s for sure the best part of all this that gg was with me during the whole conversation and got to see a woman stand up for herself confront a problem calmly and assertively and get a result all without being overly dramatic passive agressive abusive or shouty win win all round posted by quixotic at 4 43 pm 2 comments labels all consuming victory being a grown up confrontation customer service hair hairdressers monday november 8 2010 have a little faith well hi there after another marathon session of blog abstinence i thought it high time i wander back on over so how s things everyone good yeah cool oh me oh you know not much this and that running round after gg the usual oh there is one little thing i got a permanent job honestly the relief is amazing i feel a sense of security and hopefulness now that i can actually plan out a budget and do all those little things like buy food and electricity it s very full on i get up at 5 30am and rush rush rush til i put gg to bed at 7 30 8 00pm then i try and get some stuff done around the house quietly before i pass out at a nanna worthy bedtime it s not ideal but it s what we need right now so i imagine i will stick around til gg starts school in a little over a year thump what was that sound you wonder that was me falling out of my fucking chair that my tiny little baby will start school in a little over a year the last year of kid dom feels like it passed in oh about a week so it will be no time before i m covering books in contact and trying not to cry at the school gate there s no way i will subject her to before school care going to school after school care and then maybe an hour or so with mum before bed all whilst i m trying to get dinner bath her etc so we will have to re visit our situation then it s just not fair to her to start this major chater in her life without more support from me at least for now we can start paying off some debt and have a decent christmas this really couldn t have come at a better time i had been trying so hard to stay postive to trust that everything would work out but it had gotten to the point where i was starting to question myself was i a total idiot for thinking this way to trust in god or the universe or dr phil that everything would be okay if i had faith and stayed positve what sort of ludicrous deluded thinking is that shouldn t i be running around shrieking the sky is falling the sky is falling dissolving into hysterics and hating my life nope apparently not faith is the way to go it seems it ll just test your resolve til you get there a bit of an asshole faith is it seems playing with you like that toying with your emotions posted by quixotic at 10 28 pm 2 comments labels employment faith working mums wednesday october 13 2010 gold pure monster gold posted by quixotic at 3 28 pm 3 comments labels grover silliness wednesday september 29 2010 seal of approval a disoriented new zealand fur seal has been having a little holiday on the gold coast hanging out in tallebudgera creek see here i can just imagine the poor little blighter peering over at all the holidaying school kids and soccer mum paparazzi assembled thinking to himself what i can t have a holiday on the gold coast like every other kiwi posted by quixotic at 9 15 pm 2 comments sunday september 19 2010 second time s the charm okay calm down calm down everyone i know you re all excited to hear from me after so long but let s maintain order orright you there stop screeching that s better and you lot stop letting off those fireworks you hear it s just little old me no need to get so excited jeesh okay we all good back in your seats okay then so as you might have noticed i have indeed been absent from this blog for a couple of weeks stupid irritating little things have been interrupting me and keeping me away things like trying to find a job keeping our house running on a shoestring budget yada yada yada you may remember when my last job hit a surprise ending and knocked me for six one of the upshots of that was telling gg i would be spending the next while hanging out with her and watching her little face absolutely light up as she threw herself into me and gave me such a fierce hug i thought she might burst since i had been working full time i noticed that she had become quite clingy always literally hanging off me when we were home and not even wanting to stay over at her cousins house usually a favourite treat she had also become quite whiny but that could also have just been a hey i m three and this is how we three year olds roll kinda thing so fast forward a few weeks over 40 job applications seven new grey hairs and a partridge in a pear tree i find a job it s a contract for a few months to cover a girl s maternity leave though it may turn into something more it s also full time yep after the last job eff up and then having to turn down a full time job i was offered because the travel time meant i would have to be dropping gg off in the morning before she d gone to bed the night before cold meds may lead to slight exaggerations i had decided to pursue only part time jobs thing is part time jobs are like hen s teeth and there are approximately eleventy billion trillion women all wanting to work part time so necessity over rides good intentions yet again i have just finished my first week and yeah yeah the job is fine and all that but more importantly so it seems is gg me being me i had worked myself into a lather over the harm i would be inflicting on my poor innocent child me and my selfish materialistic need to pay the bills would mean she would be flung back into a world of abandonment clinginess insecurity and wanting to stay up all night just to have my attention okay okay so my reservations may not have been entirely unselfish concern for my child instead gg did what she specialises in doing she surprised me when i told gg that i would be going back to work she was entirely non fussed when i prompted her about how she felt about it she simply replied that well i will still see you ebrey night right i have been spending the week on tenterhooks waiting to some sign of her backsliding and nothin she s fine she s happy independent even at the kindy drop off which she s sometimes a bit teary at she just charges up to the window that overlooks the car park so she can wave goodbye she has even planned a sleepover for next week maybe those horrible weeks of the first job were just her getting adjusted maybe the fact i finish earlier and am picking her up by 5pm and we get that little extra time together makes the difference either way life is good right now and i refuse to sit around looking over my shoulder waiting for something bad to happen like i have been lately whenever life is good i m just gonna enjoy it and maybe send some wishes out to the universe that the girl i m replacing only wants to come back part time and we can job share not too...