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ful and not totally beholden to the endless ream of sewing repairing and masterchefing shite that is served up nightly this is because rte has discovered that there are these things called films and that people might want to watch them during primetime hours in the middle of the week and don t get me started on film4 showing taken 3 once every fortnight does not make you a movie channel either rte1 or rte2 had a film on every night when i was there so i lapped up in the name of the father for the first time in years still brilliant especially that moment when the late great sinead o connor s track kicks in official secrets am i the only one who loves keira knightley go watch the duchess or never let me go if you still need convincing and a wonderful little irish movie called herself about a woman who builds a house in her elderly friend s back garden it sounds terrible but it s actually great hackman and archer discuss getting off at the next stop tri star pictures while irish tv is a haven for movie lovers who like to stumble on to their film fare rather than scroll through netflix for longer than it takes to watch what they eventually choose in the uk it s slim pickings on the old freeview but then out of the blue on an august bank holiday monday night strides gene fecking hackman on a little channel up in the number 30s or 40s called legend now i dunno what the hell legend is but i know i will be coming back to it that s because it was showing a gene hackman movie at the blissfully ordinary time of 9pm the film in question was narrow margin a 1990 thriller in which hackman plays an assistant district attorney forced to chaperone a witness to a mob murder to safety on board a train hurtling through canada it s like under siege 2 dark territory but you know a real film as a bonus it was also a hackman film i had never heard of that may be something to do with its lousy box office and middling but fairly accurate 6 6 10 rating on imdb but who cares it has everyone in it there s anne archer perhaps unfairly best known as the wife in fatal attraction and patriot games there s harris yulin whose role here is a neat precursor to his memorable turn in the frasier episode a word to the wiseguy there s the late jt walsh the original hey it s that guy who played memorable slimeballs in everything from red rock west man i need to watch red rock west again to breakdown and the negotiator and there s m emmet walsh who is simply in every great film ever made narrow margin is also the only film that has both jt walsh and m emmet walsh so i mean come on i won t give away any of the plot not that there s much of one but there is some brilliant in camera action that still holds up three decades later technically a remake of the 1952 movie the narrow margin which writer cinematographer director peter hyams caught on tv late one night wonder if he was watching rte the 1990 version has some fighting stunt work that i genuinely preferred over the much lauded but in my opinion strangely flat top of train sequence we got recently in mission impossible dead reckoning part one on a side note i did want to write here about the sadly disappointing time i had with mission impossible 7 but i have a feeling i may be kinder to it on a repeat viewing hackman hangs on in narrow margin tri star pictures i had known hyams mainly as the director of the one good jean claude van damme movie timecop and the very underrated arnie v gabriel byrne s devil flick end of days and narrow margin showcases his great flair for action and yet the film s more quiet moments are the most memorable as in almost all of the interaction between hackman s surly deputy da and archer s tough publishing editor as they inexplicably avoid the cardboard cutout bad guys while on the train and in the wonderful opening blind date scene between archer and jt walsh which pulls you right into the movie from the off it s hackman s film however and he obviously enjoyed playing a lawyer as he stayed in court for 1991 s class action damn when is that going to be on tv and 1993 s cruise missile the firm narrow margin definitely belongs up there in the pantheon of two worded gene hackman films whose titles mean almost less than nothing along with under fire uncommon valor split decisions extreme measures absolute power and under suspicion so if you are lucky enough to have legend on your telly box keep an eye on the tv timetable for when this train pulls back into the station 4 comments movie battle the road house remake posted in battles with tags 80s movies action movies jake gyllenhaal movies patrick swayze road house on march 9 2023 by ross mcg dalton was delighted to hear the rosses were writing about him again mgm ross mcd and ross mcg must have been living under two separate rocks the past few months because they ve only just found out that 80s classic road house is getting a remake one ross thinks it s a great idea the other not so much it s time to get loaded in the double deuce and start fighting ross mcg for you re too stupid to have a good time back in the late 80s there was one vhs every 10 year old kid wanted to get their grubby hands on it had two magical words in its title and under them were two more magical words patrick and swayze and that film was dirty dancing don t be fooled by the wave of nostalgia that has washed over movie culture the past 20 years ago proclaiming dd as the ultimate chick flick in the few years after dirty dancing was released in 1987 when it was finally available to rent on video boys were gagging to see it just as much as girls on vhs dirty dancing was rated 15 which back in the late 80s promised three things boobs blood and bad words even the title sounded grimy it became a myth anyone who claimed to have seen dirty dancing was cornered in the school playground at break time is it really dirty we d ask is the dancing any good now it seems laughable that the movie was some kind of prepubescent forbidden fruit on the film s imdb parents guide page under the violence and gore section one of the warnings reads two men fight hmmm now what if there was a swayze movie where that was the entire plot while they stupidly wouldn t admit to loving the wonderful dirty dancing teenage boys and as swayze s legendary bouncer james dalton calls them 40 year old adolescents worshipped road house this is a movie that incredibly lives up to its endless set of legendary taglines exhibit a the dancing s over now it gets dirty this is a movie where dalton rips out a man s throat with his bare hands this is a film where sam elliott plays sam elliott this is a film featuring the music of the late great blind guitarist jeff healey this is a film in which jackie treehorn himself ben gazzara one of american cinema s most esteemed actors plays one of its downright meanest villains this is a film directed appropriately enough by a man named rowdy this is a film in which swayze utters the immortal line pain don t hurt they just don t make em like this any more except now they do road house is getting a redo and i for one am delighted they really should remake road house every 10 years not every 35 every generation needs its road house the remake is being directed by doug liman famous for swingers the first bourne movie that one where tom cruise dies every day and that other tom cruise one where he smuggles cocaine in other words it s in safe hands and who is going to replace swayze come on you can t replace swayze but there s only one man for the job of trying to match him it s his donnie darko co star jake gyllenhaal of course anyone who believes pain don t hurt has clearly never shaved their armpits mgm in his heyday swayze went from dirty dancing to road house to ghost to point break to to wong foo thanks for everything julie newmar he s remembered as an action tough guy but if you look up versatile in the dictionary you ll find the definition of the word versatile which is what he was gyllenhaal is cut from the same cloth i can t think of a top line male actor with a more varied and mostly successful output in recent years zodiac prisoners nightcrawler nocturnal animals these are films with gyllenhaal performances that will be talked about for decades but to slide into swayze s bouncing boots you have to have action chops and the signs are that gyllenhaal will follow up his unhinged performance in michael bay s ambulance with something equally entertaining in road house 2 0 recent set photos and footage in which gyllenhaal crashed an actual ufc weigh in his character is a former fighter turned bouncer show that he is ripped and ready gyllenhaal plays someone called elwood dalton who could be the original dalton s son nephew or just some other guy called dalton who cares this isn t star wars everyone doesn t have to be related to everyone else this is bar wars and it s about to get brutal bloody and who knows maybe even booby all over again ross mcd against never start anything inside unless it s absolutely necessary let me start by saying i m not against reboots or remakes at all yes they are easy to shit on as lazy and pointless but sometimes there is a fair enough reason sometimes the og is in a foreign language and an english redo might open it up to a larger audience who balk at subtitles think the ring or oldboy sometimes they try something fun like a gender switch overboard or a live action version of an animated film take your pick from disney sometimes it s a classic horror looking for younger audiences who didn t grow up with it a nightmare on elm street psycho carrie the thing and sometimes it s a casting choice that s worth the try david harbour as hellboy sure nic cage in the wicker man absolutely allow me to also clarify that each and every one of these remakes and reboots were totally shit or at very best paled to transparency in comparison to the original i didn t say i liked reboots but i am not against them trying but there is a category of movie that should not under any circumstances be remade or rebooted and that is patrick swayze movies ross mcd right welcomes mcg left around for another game of wii sports mgm patrick swayze movies are perfect they don t need anything the only thing they should be re ed is re released as they are did nobody see the desecration that was the second point break did no one else sit through that blasphemous second attempt at dirty dancing who da fuk can with one sad eyed look say i don t wanna fight you but i will totally remove your throat with my bare hands if i have to james dalton literally invented the mortal kombat fatality you don t f k with him and you don t f k with his film it s a real shame ross mcg and i were only just discussing how jake gyllenhaal had yet to make a bad film putting him in a rare category with leo dicaprio and no one else you would think swayze s donnie darko castmate would have a little more respect i guess not i love gyllenhaal i like the idea of the modern ufc setting as an irishman i am even obligated to like conor mcgregor he is undoubtedly the greatest fight salesman of all time but can he sell this film i highly doubt it if you re willing to so shamelessly cast someone just for clout well you deserve the box office ground and pound you are bound to receive seriously stop disrespecting the swayz with this shit if you re not careful they re gonna remake ghost with channing fecking tatum or something what do you think do you want a road house remake leave a comment cocaine bear max max cloud atlas and the quest to find the best movie trailer ever posted in comment with tags movies trailer trailers on march 2 2023 by ross mcg there is plenty of ursine around in cocaine bear s trailer universal what makes a good trailer these days must it contain a glacially paced cover of an annoyingly popular song does it need a drum effect every time a character loads a gun or throws a punch or can it dispense with such modern clichés and just focus on a bear coked out of its brain flying through the air in pursuit of an ambulance poor cocaine bear the second i finished watching that trailer i thought no way the actual film is gonna live up to that but who hasn t thought that after watching a trailer perhaps not the woman who sued the distributors of the 2011 nicolas winding refn vehicle drive claiming its thrill a second promo was a complete mis sell of the finished and largely car chase less movie in which ryan gosling probably uttered the same amount of dialogue as he did in the trailer i have long considered launching my own legal action at the director and star s follow up only god forgives through which i was hoodwinked into a miserable cinema experience by one of the best trailers in living memory the success of that trailer was founded on two things gosling doing his best primary school kid impression at the end of it wanna fight and its soundtrack namely the song 2020 by canadian band suuns that song popped up again more recently in the trailer for three thousands years of longing directed by george miller a filmmaker who knows all about the impact of a good trailer the appetite for a fourth mad max movie was hardly huge but that all changed when the teaser trailer for fury road dropped towards the end of 2014 this verdi backed carnage fuelled magnificence went a long way to enticing audiences into the theatre something described in great detail in blood sweat chrome the wild and true story of mad max fury road by kyle buchanan which is well worth a read i still can t decide if the trailer is even better than the film itself which reminds me of my favourite video sketch from the onion in which it reported on how the studio behind the celebrated trailer for 2008 s iron man made the controversial decision to expand the two minute promo into a feature length movie the major critique launched at modern movie trailers apart from those overdone punches drums effect combos thanks a lot suicide squad is that they show too much so why is one of the best trailers ever made almost six minutes long i m talking about the extended trailer for cloud atlas the 2012 sci fi epic directed by lana and lilly wachowski and tom tykwer which manages the seemingly impossible feat of showing everything while telling nothing it s a remarkable trailer all five minutes and 41 seconds of it and has the power to flick those tear duct switches usually just as outro by m83 who is i kid you not a friend of ross mcd s kicks in towards the end which is astonishing in itself given the song has been used in just about every single thing ever those are some of my favourites but what are yours what do you think is the greatest movie trailer of all time leave a comment movie battle glass onion a knives out mystery posted in battles with tags glass onion knives out movies oscars rian johnson on february 21 2023 by rossvross no one was pleased to see ross mcd and ross mcg turn up at the pier together netflix you wait six years for on...