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whats up down south friday december 21 2018 zach s snowman zach made this snowman while he was in the first grade i still have him posted by brenda at 12 21 2018 01 10 00 pm 4 comments tuesday august 21 2018 found but lost jami and her husband went back to the lake sunday morning the divers found him in a 25 foot drop off just a few feet from the ropes and buoys of the swimming area they brought our zach to the surface at 12 07 p m on july 30 2017 that afternoon we met with the funeral director to make arrangements and that night we were able to see his body for a short time before they took him to be cremated i touched him for the last time and as i stood there a tear rolled from his eye and onto his cheek he was biting his lip and i remembered all the times he would do that i wanted to just shake him wake him up posted by brenda at 8 21 2018 02 51 00 pm 2 comments sunday july 29 2018 it s been a year we drove down and tasha let me out someone brought me a chair while she moved the truck and i began to wait it took me awhile to realize that it was no longer a search and rescue but a recovery i went numb i know different people came to wait with me family friends were there both of his bosses came and stayed as long as they could i spoke to the young man who had tried to save him and felt so sorry for him because he was so upset that he wasn t able to the young girl who was with zach came and hugged me i think she was in shock there was a point when i noticed someone with their cell phone out videoing that upset me really bad tasha and jerri went over and asked them not to do that i think the fella gave his phone to his kid to film it and jerri and tasha went over to sheriff byrd to see if he could make them stop he did i waited and waited for them to find him i prayed that he and god were playing a prank on me in less than 7 years i d lost my heart and soul another young girl came up to me and hugged me she told me she was pregnant with zach s child dear god what else were you going to throw at me that day just before the sun went down sheriff byrd came and said they had to wait for the divers to come and it would be morning before they could resume searching he wanted everyone to leave so they could get things ready to start again the next day i begged him to let me stay i didnt want to leave him out there alone all night he promised me that he wouldn t be alone that there would be someone there with him every minute jerri and bubbie drove me home we waited there for jami and the girls my sisters were there my sister in law i just can t remember everyone who came by to be with us i didn t sleep that night every time i closed my eyes i felt like i had cold water running through my veins posted by brenda at 7 29 2018 02 32 00 pm 1 comment saturday july 14 2018 every terror and tragedy in my life has come with a phone call my heart skips a beat every time the phone rings the afternoon of july 29 2017 was that way my phone rang i answered with what do you need because i saw the call was from zach s phone the reply was a hysterical voice that i couldn t understand at first i finally heard zach went down and didn t come back up i asked who was calling and became hysterical too when i heard her say he didn t come back up again i think i asked where she was where they were i grabbed my purse and went outside and remembered he zach had my truck i called my neighbor and she was sick but was able to drive me to another friend s house in lexa i begged and prayed that i had heard wrong that it had to be a joke god please don t take him from me that trip was so long i m praying that zach would be there with his little mean ass grin when i got to the lake i didn t call his mother jami because i wanted to be sure of what had happened what was going on before i did my phone rang and it was jami someone who was at storm creek lake had posted on facebook that zach had drowned i told her i was on my way to the lake and i hadn t wanted to call her until i knew for sure she was hysterical and said she was on her way from tn i begged her to please be careful we came around the last curve and the road dropped down to where we could see the lake i saw the boats the ambulance the police cars and i died inside i can t do this all at once i have to stop now and calm down writing about this is so hard but i think it s something i need to do but it s going to take me awhile posted by brenda at 7 14 2018 03 38 00 pm 2 comments monday september 11 2017 my loss god s gain i am holding so much sorrow inside i do this because i m afraid if i let it out i ll start screaming and never stop posted by brenda at 9 11 2017 11 33 00 am 3 comments sunday november 27 2016 if stress can kill you there s no doubt that i should be dead from it living with this male man child has beaten me down more than anyone can imagine i ve tried to vent a little to a family member and once to a friend and both said that i should kick him out make him leave that s what they would do it s easier said than done folks my emotions get in the way of doing what s best for me he has stolen from me everything from my wedding band to cash and checks i ve talked with the sheriff and his deputies they have a talk with him he s had counseling and promises of counseling or at least what passes for that in our area there was a visit to a psychiatrist then the second visit was via video conference the third video conference when i had questions about just exactly when he would actually advise us about what to do about his behavior i was informed that his counselor would be handling that because his job was simply to prescribe his meds the counselor would handle the behavior problems i freaking understand that there are problems when dealing with adhd but there has been little help available in preparing him to live in an adult world and taking on adult responsibilities i ve done as much as i know how to do i m tired mind body and soul posted by brenda at 11 27 2016 10 02 00 pm 3 comments thursday september 10 2015 breath but grief makes a monster out of us sometimes and sometimes you say and do things to the people you love that you can t forgive yourself for melina marchetta posted by brenda at 9 10 2015 02 48 00 pm 7 comments older posts home subscribe to posts atom about me brenda eastern arkansas united states i m from arkansas born here moved away several times as a kid but always back again this time i ve been back here for over 47 years it s been a trip guess i m a redneck with culture or could be culture shock view my complete profile middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places photo challenges brenda s photo challenge blog child 7 years ago a personal photo challenge closed permanently 10 years ago magic tree clock get the magic tree clock widget and many other great free widgets at widgetbox blogs i love to read net on the net not an estate sale post 5 days ago made in heaven 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january 4 2013 11 december 1 november 1 may 2 april 1 march 4 february 1 january 1 2012 21 november 1 october 1 september 3 august 2 june 2 may 2 april 2 march 3 february 4 january 1 2011 34 december 1 november 4 october 3 august 2 july 3 june 2 may 1 april 4 march 1 february 6 january 7 2010 71 december 9 november 4 october 6 september 2 august 4 july 11 june 5 may 2 april 7 march 7 february 3 january 11 2009 145 december 5 november 4 october 9 september 9 august 9 july 11 june 14 may 13 april 13 march 17 february 18 january 23 2008 286 december 20 november 25 october 24 september 22 august 27 july 27 june 30 may 19 april 26 march 17 february 22 january 27 2007 223 december 25 november 32 october 18 september 13 august 18 july 16 june 15 may 16 april 17 march 16 february 19 january 18 2006 259 december 19 november 20 october 17 september 19 august 21 july 28 june 23 may 18 april 24 march 27 february 21 january 22 2005 332 december 23 november 23 october 27 september 29 august 29 july 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