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Text of the page (random words):
et things i don t know if i ll explain this properly but i ll try emily understood things you would explain something perhaps badly and she would just understand i could switch from serious to sarcastic in a second and she was always right there with me the whole time playing along you could talk with passion about something that meant a lot to you that you couldn t tell anybody else and emily would get it and it wasn t like you just thought she understood she could repeat back her understanding of your situation perfectly and she would be right emily was on the same wavelength as me all the time but emily was on the same wavelength as everybody all the time she was bipolar and i think she lived her life feeling not quite the same as everybody else she was introspective and analytical and smart and so so funny and i think it was this combination of things her immense intelligence and the way she felt about herself in the world that made her as understanding as she was i felt so comfortable around her and honestly i don t feel that comfortable around people in real life most of the time she had a gift her loss will be felt very very strongly in my house she was my regular babysitter and was here often and she had this incredible connection with my children she would spend hours playing pokemon with child 2 after he insisted that he teach her how she listened as he rambled on and and on and on about whatever was happening in his minecraft world she was fun and she was funny and he loved being around her i ll never forget that the last time she babysat child 2 was jumping up and down saying yay emily will be here in 10 minutes but her connection with child 1 was the most remarkable as a parent of a child with autism one of my hopes is that i can help him find adults who can act as mentors adults who have an understanding of his world and who have experienced similar things who can help guide him through his life emily was not autistic but i think that she spent so much of her life feeling different from everybody else that it allowed her to create such a beautiful bond with child 1 who is also so different she would tirelessly take him on elevator rides and to the various stores that he wanted to visit they watched bart trains together and she never had a need to ask why does he like bart so much she just knew he loves his trains and she knew how it felt to love something she would often mention how much she could relate to him and his quirks she got it i already miss her so much we didn t even talk every day it was about once a week or so but i already feel her absence from my life so strongly my children will miss her so much and i don t know if they understand what death really means but i grieve for the sadness they will feel as they begin to understand the reality of her being gone the last few months had been hard for her she had been struggling in my phone i have the last communication we had a text message i had sent her it says i hope you re doing okay if you ever want to come and just hang out here you are always always welcome 3 i don t think i will ever delete it i m just so glad that the last thing i said to her was that she was loved and she was welcomed she didn t respond but i hope she knew that i meant it i don t think this makes a whole lot of sense my writing is choppy and i apologize i m very sad and i m doing my best to explain how awesome she was emily would have understood if you are so inclined you may be interested in making a donation in her name emily salzfass to depression and bipolar support alliance share posted by jillsmo at 11 04 am emily 2014 01 22t11 04 00 08 00 jillsmo family sad comments labels family sad monday january 13 2014 so i hear blogging is dead now i read an article recently and my pals have been chatting that blogging is dead people don t blog anymore apparently i don t really know why because i when i say i read an article really what i mean is i saw the headline in my facebook feed because i m an american but i guess comments are down and traffic is down and the conclusion is that blogging is dead i d just like to point out that this blog has been dead for a while so if the topic is about how blogging is dead the only natural conclusion is that i ve created this dead blogging thing because i m a trendsetter i set trends particularly if said trends involve not doing something or doing something wrong or looking like an idiot while doing something or perhaps falling down and hurting yourself in the process of doing something because i m trendy so if anybody was wondering whatever happened to jill s blog the blog is dead because blogging is dead and trends also irony huh share posted by jillsmo at 1 07 pm so i hear blogging is dead now 2014 01 13t13 07 00 08 00 jillsmo huh comments labels huh saturday november 23 2013 my recipe for the best fucking gravy you ve ever had reposting like i do every year this process must be started no later than the day before thanksgiving in the morning buy your turkey from a butcher or a place with a meat counter and when you do ask them for random discarded turkey parts backs necks they will always have some and you can buy them for very very cheap like 70 cents pound get about 3 4 pounds of that shit take the turkey bones and put them in the biggest fucking pot you have also since you re probably going to be doing something with onions and celery maybe carrots and some herbs the next day take the stems and the tops clean them of those things and throw them in too make sure you get some onion skins in there they will make everything a nice dark color fill the big ass pot up with water and put in a bunch of salt i don t know maybe a handful salt is important at this point because the heat and the salt and the protein from the turkey bones will make a natural msg or umami the 5th sense put it on the stove and cook covered on low for no less than 8 hours i m serious don t cut corners here even if alton brown says you don t have to cook stock for that long fuck that guy what does he know you want the bones and the cartilage to break down enough and i say cook it for 8 hours dammit if you have doubts about this part read the title of this post again during cooking process lift the lid and check things out every hour or so pieces of turkey will float to the top and stick out of the water and you want to make sure everything stays wet the whole time that s what she said after 8 hours strain it twice once to get all the big bones out and the next time to get the small pieces of crap that have fallen off in the cooking process you don t want to eat that shit later use a fine strainer for part 2 put the liquid in the pot that you plan to cook it in the next day and stick it in the fridge overnight go to bed happy thanksgiving in the morning the liquid will be the consistency of jello this is what you want it means that you cooked the shit out of the turkey bones and have created a fucking flavorfest in that pot go about your business and make your turkey and all the sides you don t need to do anything with this for a little while if you have some herbs you like put the pot on the stove on very very low and throw the herbs in if you want it doesn t matter but get it onto the stove on low and boiling at least an hour before your turkey comes out of the oven cook your turkey on a rack so that the juices will drip down into the pan and you can collect them later this is an important step because those turkey drippings and little crispy turkey pieces are really fucking delicious and you re going to want them later when the turkey comes out of the oven put it aside and collect all of this awesome shit at the bottom of the roasting pan and put them into your boiling stock let that do its thing while you bustle around and try to get your fucking family to leave your kitchen so you can cook in peace i don t need any fucking help thank you very much make a roux which is equal amounts of butter and flour it depends on how much liquid you have but probably 1 4 cup each half a stick of butter it s just easier that way melt the butter throw in the flour and then cook it on low medium alton brown says that the lighter the roux the better it will thicken the stock the darker the roux the more flavor it will have do whatever you want i haven t ever found much of a difference one thing i did learn today though is that you can make your roux at any time during the day on thursday which may be a good thing if you re like me and by the time you get to the serving part of thanksgiving and you re drunk off your ass making a roux is quite challenging one year i had to make it three times because i kept fucking it up and burning it anyway make a roux and then throw it in the pot at this point if you have anything chunky like herb stems or whatever take those out let it cook for at least another 10 minutes so that the flour and butter can fully incorporate into the liquid you will notice that it will also thicken considerably so stir often if you remember if not whatever that s it serve the shit and then listen as everybody at your table says holy crap this is the best fucking gravy i ve ever had enjoy share posted by jillsmo at 10 40 am 7 comments labels recipe monday november 4 2013 on the subject of red asses disclaimer this post is not actually about red asses today i m walking from my car to my client s office and i pass a man on the corner who asks me if i have a quarter for the bus i respond with sorry because i only had my keys and my phone on me i didn t even have any pockets and he says i don t accept sorry you red assed bitch i respond with ooooohhhhhhhkkkkkaaaaayyyyyyy and i run away as fast as i possibly can because i figure if he s unstable enough to yell that kind of poetry at me he probably would also hit me or attack me if i say anything else he doesn t like i escape into my client s office and while i m telling her about it because of course i m thinking of all the other fun stuff i could have said in response which i never would actually say because i m only a partial and not a total dumbass and i m able to recognize that my smart mouth might actually get me killed one day and i thought man if only i had some kind of outlet for these theoretically creative thoughts that i might like to be able to speak out loud if i wasn t about to experience imminent death and or dismemberment oh well i guess i can always put it on the blog and so here i am hey by the way did you know that apparently there s some little known blogger algorithm that kicks in after you ve satisfied a number of conditions one of them being serious neglect and when you hit that new post button google plays a pre recorded voice that says reposting old stuff doesn t count i too was not aware of this until today 1 anyway here are some things i would have liked to say to crazy quarter guy cqg i don t accept sorry you red assed bitch me well actually it appears that you do enjoy your walk skippy cqg i don t accept sorry you red assed bitch me excuse me this ass is clearly white cqg i don t accept sorry you red assed bitch me omg thank you so much for not calling me fat cqg i don t accept sorry you red assed bitch me how about an interpretive dance do you accept those okay i guess there are only four i m not actually that creative i m sure i ll find the algorithm for that after i hit publish share posted by jillsmo at 1 46 pm on the subject of red asses 2013 11 04t13 46 00 08 00 jillsmo a whole lotta nuthin huh the inner workings of my brain comments labels a whole lotta nuthin huh the inner workings of my brain sunday october 13 2013 they say online friends aren t real friends in december of 2002 i saw an episode of the daily show where jon stewart talked about the latest new craze in christmas toys likes it rough elmo at the time child 1 was less than a year old and elmo was a big part of our lives so naturally i thought it was one of the funniest things i d ever seen because of course i went online to the comedy central website looking for a place where i could proclaim my undying appreciation for my latest discovery and there i found that they had message boards that were devoted to each of the shows that comedy central had on at the time beat the geeks 4tw i created an account using the only screen name i d ever used before and made my peace but then i came back to see what other people had to say and i started meeting people the cc message boards were a free for all text only cesspool of complete shit with no rules no moderators and trolls running rampant we yelled at each other about politics and the stories of the day but first and foremost our purpose was to be funny our my greatest achievement was figuring out how to trick the code into letting curse words get posted conversations were had friendships were formed and ultimately the boards all went down in a giant blaze of ugliness but we had made connections that we didn t want to lose so we searched for a new place to call ours after several iterations of message boards we ultimately settled down in our own brand new message board home that board was created on march 26 2004 this is what i look like over there the years have gone by people have come and gone and the board still remains we ve been together through birth and death through marriage and divorce through trauma through joy through heartbreak through wondrous excitement through banality through depression through all the shit that people experience in a decade we ve argued politics we ve fought hard over the news of the day it s been all about the funny but in the end it s been about a community of very different people who have formed a bond we ve been close we ve been far we ve moved away we ve come back we ve gone in and out of contact and we ve all come back together recently we learned that one of our own jonfan2 doesn t have long to live he was born with a congenital heart defect and wasn t expected to live past his 20s but being the stubborn asshole that he is now at 42 he s finally been given his last timeline he posted about it on the board with the intent just to keep us posted on his status but what he wasn t expecting was that we would all jump into action pack up our shit and travel to where he was i came from california but i didn t travel the farthest prolapse came from canada juleska came from afghanistan we rented a house on a lake in michigan dressed up like characters from alice in wonderland and we roasted him it was hilarious and awesome and sad and depressing and wonderful and terrible and absolutely perfect because of course it s been 11 years since i created that account on the comedy central board and right now i m sitting in a chair in a house in some city i don t even know the name of in a state i ve never been before surrounded by people i ve seen in person only once before or never before and we all did this we packed up our stuff and we came ou...