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strength and the power of other women all week it was a struggle to stay hydrated and fed clean and sanitary the humidity was constant and sticky was the new reality my air mattress battery fiasco meant i slept on the hard ground all week thankful for my 5 pillow i kept losing things i had short term memory problems possibly due to exhaustion or over stimulation or potentially due to the extra emotions i kept experiencing my feet ankles knees back and arms were always sore and there was a lot of sitting in the dirt or grass despite these challenges michfest was one of the most amazing weeks of my life i learned a lot about myself as a woman in her 30s with body image and confidence issues and felt the pull of radical feminist revolution i was able to extract patriarchal perspectives and discard them from clouding my reality for the most part i found easy laughter poured from me and tears welled up many times a day but grateful tears of sadness at the end potential for beginning and awe at the love women have for each other and the community the potential of another world where we help one another a more liberated existence and the freedom from men s visions michigan coffee i don t know why the coffee at michfest is so delicious but it tasted amazing i loved stopping at saints the food and drink vendor for a morning calzone and coffee cream and sugar added while i microwaved my pepperoni and cheese calzone making sure to leave the dart nuker for those women who needed it sometimes i would spot a friend and we d enjoy the morning together and sometimes i would sit on a leaning bench alone and listen and watch women at the august night café learn to couples dance while i perked up from the drowsiness i can still taste the coffee the cream and sweetness hear the sound of women talking and laughing feel the breeze in the trees and see blue sky peeking out of clouds or the shade i escaped into i loved the opportunity not to rush or worry that i needed to be somewhere or find out what time it was i could let the day begin on my own time frame the weather was perfect at michigan it rained hard one night but i found myself always looking up whenever i could hammock hung by the movie tent opening ceremonies at michfest opening ceremonies were very powerful as stacyann chin spoken word spoke what our hearts wanted to say then her mic had issues right at the end and the mc elvira kurt joked that fest didn t want to end so it was just being prolonged a little bit longer the music was amazing and the drumming women and all the signs thanking amazon women workers campers etc ah lovely then it got dark and skip the needle came on a friend and i got up front to dance and women started crowd surfing i hadn t been in a mosh pit like that in over 10 years but it was amazing to dance and see women so free together we danced for hours that night until we were so exhausted then we went back to the fire pit near our tents before we finally went to bed i didn t take any photos of the opening ceremonies because i was too busy participating i wish i had some now but i m also grateful for the ones i have radical feminists at michfest the women s liberation front put on a conference within michfest i spent time with radical feminists at the radfem tree and the rhapsody tent where we discussed activism and the truths of our lives we ate meat and eggs and drank coffee and i was so grateful to be a part i truly belonged i curled up and listened to radical songs and i shared my beliefs and feelings without censorship we talked about the harms of gender and how to practice sisterhood there were hugs with women i had just met and others i have struggled together with before what a relief it was for this one radical event to not have to worry about a venue cancellation due to threats and harassment i treasured each moment with my radical feminist sisters some sisters marked a tree near the kitchen with this sign so that radical feminists would have a place to gather together for meals kitchen shift at michfest my shift in the kitchen was challenging my feet were already hurting i was still recovering from a twisted right ankle and i had unwittingly signed up for the busiest food event burrito night it was actually more like taco night as women were given tortillas to load up with rice beans tomatoes cheese lettuce and sour cream at fest you are supposed to slide your plate bowl tupperware across the table as you move from station to station to avoid having your plate above the foot trough and have food fall into your bowl and then back into the communal tray if this happens the communal tray will have to be thrown completely out due to cross contamination so a big part of my job was making sure that sisters were mindful of this requirement at one point the tongs for the tortilla chips were contaminated so we didn t have any for about a half hour but since women weren t able to reach in and grab chips they either had to pour them into their dish or we could do it for them it was challenging to communicate and also make sure that women knew they could take as much food as they wanted we also wiped up any spills with a soaked rag which dried my hands out pretty quickly it was neat to see the ways that women worked together to get more food when needed and to combine old food containers with new ones as they arrived shifts are four hours long and when my dinner break came i was so worn out it had been an exhausting shift and the delicious food i enjoyed as a reward made it worth the challenge it was great to work with sisters i m glad i decided to do a kitchen shift despite the difficulty and exhaustion after that i met at the radfem tree with my feminist sisters i just loved being surrounded by radical women in the woods art at the night stage what is a sister camping with women i hadn t met before was unique but we ended up bonding in a profound way laughing listening to music and eating together hugs goodbye at the airport were emotional i know what a sister is although i had forgotten i found myself again at michfest and i am so grateful day stage artists at michigan total relaxation awaits at the day stage the day stage was some of my very favorite experiences at michfest it was so nice to listen to women play guitars or electric violins or rock out with drums while relaxing together with sisters i loved seeing girls and women hula hoop or sit on blankets together or watch the deaf women s translator express the emotions of the sound through her body and facial expressions the music was also really good these women were great song writers who created sonic joy through their rhythms and voices i felt like i was witnessing power as i sat there and it occurred to me on several occasions that i had internalized misogyny myself the fact that i was surprised that the artists were so good was a reflection of the way that women are devalued outside of michigan and how i had taken those values in my own heart i teared up with emotions as women sang songs about the future of personal pain and of ways they had found empowerment reina williams cover of aaliah s are you that somebody was wonderful and then when she did the baby part ah i smiled with nostalgia you can listen to a version here mazzmuse s electric violin sounded amazing and she truly rocked the house crys matthews made me tear up with the truths she expressed her song holding space is about the end of michfest and can be listened to here it was so lovely michfest bush off one day after the music ended the emcee decided that we would begin the first michfest bush off she wanted to start a contest to see which woman s bush had the most retro 1970s look i actually thought this contest was a ton of fun because women were so comfortable with each other and the fact that we all have female bodies that it wasn t objectifying at all it was just hilarious one woman had a merkin and as women got up to show what they had grown themselves women judged which was the fullest and covered the largest area of the body it was excellent to see body hair being celebrated and normalized ah michfest these things can only happen here it seems honestly the bush off was one of my favorite parts of fest because it was all about being natural and free no i m not going to tell you who won on michfest nudity note a version of this short subpost will be published in the january 2017 edition of sinister wisdom what is the value of taking your top off outside of fest it s often for the male patriarchal gaze at fest it s to free oneself from the shame of being a woman a woman who grew breasts in puberty and now has large nipples or lowered heft in her bosom or small breasts with dark nipples or hair surrounding her areola fest nudity shows us that we are common despite the diversity in our embodied flesh cellulite c section scars stretch marks swaying puckers and shimmying behinds we walked through a cup overflowing of female realness and stated through our existence i am the way i am and no changes are needed many women had handsome facial hair and let it grow unashamedly no i felt them say i m not a man because i have hair where adult women naturally grow it i am a woman i am real and i am acceptable i never publicly disrobed except to shower i had lingering feelings that somehow i was worse or more disgusting than my brave nude sisters in my pooches and red lightning stretch marks down belly and thighs but there were moments smiling moments of freedom from these lies as i crow barred them out of my consciousness i loved my reflection in the mirror beneath sun hat or scarf or soaking showered hair i saw my smile and my eyes smiling back bouncing along the paths saying hello to neighbors looking at decorations on my way to the janes or the kitchen changing my clothes in the tent and stopping to check for ticks getting distracted by the wonder of my own skin under my hands the width of my hips the balance of my thighs and the globes of my breasts my freedom for me i accepted for a moment the land beneath me and all her gifts i am a daughter who claimed the sheer unlimited pleasure of being alive we spent a lot of time under this emerald canopy michfest closing ceremonies at the closing ceremonies one thousand women were given candles for the end of the candlelit service the only light had been dusk as it slowly turned into night the trees framed the acoustic stage and i stood on the edge of a bowl of women whose eyes faced the drums the guitars the piano and the dancing women i also hold that female sovereignty over our own bodies and lives is the first requirement for the new world we envisioned for one week in august it s a short way to refer to what we had begun to create but it is not the end i agree with many radical women who say that we d rather this truth be acknowledged and face the end of fest rather than compromise on this truth and see fest continue already the seeds of michfest are beginning to bloom in states and countries everywhere and the anticipation of this future fills me with excitement and a sense of being part of women s history the closing ceremony asked that we snuff our candles out as a signifier of the end i wet my fingers and closed them on the burning wick as women around me did the same then the mourning painful howls began we howled into the darkness wolf howls of grief of power of female sovereignty of home and of love so many howls whooping into the night then died down then from here to there began again as we walked to our separate destinations on the land tearfully we comforted each other through our presence together i treasure my candle the flame of michigan and the power of women symbolized in its flame as crys matthews sang this is just so long for now this is not good bye i believe it i hope for it we make it and we live it amazon women rise now in your town in your family your friendship your hearts we are women and we rise there are many emotions when it comes to women centered events by celebrating you i celebrate myself and reject patriarchal existence i find my place among sisters and become valuable just as i am thankful grateful and passing it on encouraging signs like these are posted all around the land this one is particularly inspiring to me drum circle fire pit at triangle after sunday s closing ceremonies we went to triangle fire pit which was cold there was no fire we waited a few minutes until women came and said that there was not any wood left to burn as the logs had all been used throughout the week but we could collect burnables and start the fire again if we wished so in my long blue sun dress with my ever dimming head lamp i hauled into the woods to knock down dead stumps and contribute logs for the fire i am a frequent camper so it was not an unfamiliar process but the importance of the circumstance gave me particular strength we needed fire and i can collect fuel so once i had contributed a share we sat around the deep dirt pit and the drums began more women came several women slapped their hands and arms on the drums together and a lovely naked woman danced as the fire shadows moved over her we began chants and songs and we sang rounds we clapped and we looked into one another s faces as women we felt the importance of the ritual we taught one another songs and we listened and learned and all participated i could have stayed there all night but we had to load out in the morning so reluctantly i left the sacred circle and went back to my tent one final night i couldn t believe it was ending i still don t feel that it has at the same time it s hard to believe it ever really happened it feels dreamlike because it was so different from the rest of my life it s been hard to write about fest because of this disconnect i don t really know how to use words to communicate my experiences but i am so so grateful i have had them this sign hung off a path near where we camped in bush gardens thank you all for reading about my experiences there are of course many more wonderful things that happened at michfest and i only opted to tell you of a few of them coming back to the airport after spending a week with women was jarring as it felt like what i had just experienced was dream like in a way it was women created an amazing place that lived for 40 years there is no where on earth quite like it i feel like i have been a participant in womyn s history it s hard to describe how wonderful it is to have been there and also how bittersweet i feel that it has ended i am sure it must be much more difficult for womyn who had the pleasure of attending for many years i do believe something else or many somethings will come out of this community in future as this sign says words to live by filed under uncategorized gaslighting culture november 5 2015 4 comments lately i am really coming to terms with the fact that patriarchy is a gaslighting culture and for the most part messages do not n...
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