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description= Going Mad Slowly in the Corporate World;
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Text of the page (random words):
d a very good job the last nearly 5 years and i was happy for most of it and its hard to find snarky material when everyone is so damn nice well like most things give it long enough and it ll come to you if i can be snarky and funny and make you laugh then its a fricking win win i ll fill you in on the gaps from the past 4 years but we have all the ime in the world for that and i certainly don t want you dozing off in my first post in ages how about 10 jabs i wish i could make in a resignation letter to a bad boss 1 consider acknowledging your assistant at least once a day week month with a glance a response a grunt a pulse something 2 say thank you at least once a year 3 the only times you do actually speak try not to be so dickish in your comments 4 when i stupidly still get you a holiday present every year and especially when i arranged one even out while i had another spinal surgery fucking acknowledge you got it asswipe i was still dumb enough it had to be the feel good drugs to humiliate myself further by following up to be sure you got it in and email you in which i got no response plus i tracked it say thank you once shame on you twice shame on me 5 don t ask force me to volunteer at your gun club safari club event where you talk about killing animals alll over the world and it s sickening and then you didn t even pay me like you promised 6 just because you are a judgmental workaholic doesn t mean i am i don t want to be there 12 hours and when i m not you treat me like shit give me the silent treatment and if i am there you wouldn t have asked me to do anything anyway except for sit there 7 don t make me sit at my desk in case you get a call for 9 hours straight and threaten me that i better not miss it and than act put out when i finally ask to take a piss 8 if i m in the hospital 3 times with life threatening spinal surgery send me flowers a note an email anything i ve been your servant for 5 years didn t your mama teach you better 9 when i get back to work after months of doing little stuff like learning to walk again and shower and dress myself and i m a pale weak former version of my kick ass self at first uh don t ignore me for a month with your passive aggressive bullshit maybe next year i ll just send you a pacifier and set of diapers you big ass baby 10 finally when my best friend of 20 years who helped with your stupid gun event of which you never paid her either later commits suicide do not have the very poor taste of calling me at home to say i m so terribly sorry etc no you say what the hell happened she was so pretty why d she do it the first day after and i m nothing but a puddle of grief here s a tip dear readers never ever ask someone why someone committed suicide it s offensive if we want to tell you our theories later we will plus do not tell me it s selfish because i will go off on your ass until you literally have nothing left but a butt hole old school male lawyers are usually assholes plain and simple they don t think of anyone or anything but themselves not all of the but i d say about 95 they are giant babies that you secretly know make millions it s a tough balance to handle sometimes it s surprising i never punched him in the face i certainly pictured it in my mind several times i highly recommend it as a coping mechanism not my best work but give me time i m a bit rusty i truly have missed you all and i ve been drafting a lot of posts that we ll have fun with in the meantime i thought you deserve a little update above talk to you soon i am no longer at a law firm but have hundreds of stories observations and other things to humourously bitch about was considering changing the name of the blog if i can figure out how to living dilbert redefined what do you think i have a lot to say later ld comments 14 comments categories uncategorized do not tell me to do a yeast cleanse 9 may angry and itchy i have hives i think about people that piss me off i get hives i stumble in the mornings i get hives i diet i get hives people talk to me i get hives i think about having to talk to other people i get hives do not tell me i need to do a gd cleanse i m not allergic to anything except maybe anger i m just plain angry and that beats sadness most days i am a lucky girl in many aspects i have a loving home with an incredible partner i have a great job now i have a car i have food i can walk yet i m angry and when i m not angry i m dead inside it is starting to get old i miss being carefree and silly i m sure main squeeze misses it too don t think i m not trying but it s gonna take time apparently it was the same when my sweet mom died a few years ago really bad stuff happens and you get boiling fire spitting angry because that helps a little and simply because you are so damn foot stomping mad that you have no say in the matter it just is ok i find myself getting pretty deep here maybe if i approach the problem at hand by challenging myself things will get better today i challenge myself not to tell anyone to go fuck themselves or to not punch anyone in the face think that is doable i sure hope so because with my fused back i don t think jail would be good for me just wanted to stop in and say that this is where i am i hope i can still provide some smiles today i came across a blog that made me feel something so for all of you out there having any kind of emotional struggle this is for you please read and look at the pictures it s purely genius i ll be here looking for my little bit of corn http hyperboleandahalf blogspot com coming soon ten reasons living dilbert would not fair well in prison tags anger death depression humor life living dilbert sadness comments 13 comments categories uncategorized 220 days 28 dec it has been 220 days hard to believe let s pick up where i left off before my life changed horribly i had lost my weight and was getting ready to have a huge spinal scoliosis surgery where d i go before that what happened one of a kind 220 days ago on may 23 2012 i got a call that nearly killed me and my soul remember best friend the best friend that i wrote about early on who shaped who i am today and that i loved unconditionally every day for 20 years who i talked to every day for 20 years who together we handled relationships marriages disasters loves life some bad damn bosses and a million billion memories in between best friend committed suicide on may 23 2012 it was 5 weeks before my surgery i can t even begin to describe my shock and despair i m amazed i m still here and breathing i will write more about this later but know i have survived the worst thing i ever could have imagined and i ve had some damn doozies in this life i lost my best friend a lot had to be done to pick up the pieces of her life her dogs her home all our memories it was a task i would not wish on my worst enemy if i had one but i wake up every day and i m still here does that make sense living dilbert is still here she nearly died from this loss but damn if she is not still here lisbeth this one is for you i hope you are in a better place free of anguish know that i love you i miss you and i hope to see you again one day you were an amazing kind giving human being that i wish loved herself as much as those of us around you the world is not quite as bright now but i will find a way i am going to celebrate the incredible person you were and therefore who i am someone has to carry on your priceless sarcasm right tags bad boss best friend commentary friendship grief living dilbert loss suicide women comments 14 comments categories anger bad boss blog burnout corporate humor corporate life friendship grief humor lawyers life suicide weekends top five coping mechanisms 5 apr hi i m still here working away wanted to check in because you all are so damn great each day seems to get a little harder with my dadgum back it just insists on feeling like i ve been pumped full of shotgum pellets and i know rod surgery is in my future i m still dieting and am down 13 pounds lady surgeon only wanted me to lose 15 so i m nearly there with 26 days til decision day to go yay it hasn t been easy work has been so busy life pain work pain and all the annoying self involved asses in this world how does living dilbert manage to cope top 5 living dilbert coping mechanisms 1 dreaming of all the things i will eat after my surgery and i m all gaunt and pale no one will have the heart to scold me kind of hoping people will even bring me yummy things to eat i have a bucket list of foods i think about on an hourly basis i miss you 2 i m thin to all of my allegedly helpful people that constantly gave me back advice and how i should exercise more and to lose a few pounds with their cute little wink and especially to doris doomsday who says i m too obesessed with food well bite me i m thinner than you now and you can suck it 3 make myself giggle when someone is ugly to me i go into my teenage boy mode i snicker about putting poop in their office or actually pooping in their office on their doorstep fedexed to them etc face it poop is funny however poop is not funny when someone else does it before i have to go pee pee in our ladies room and it is stinky 4 plants vs zombies words with friends hooked such wonderful escape time when i finally get home to bed even when most people whip my butt because i get the worst letters of all time zombies like poop are funny go ahead eat my brainz 5 positive attitude this is a tough one some days thank god i usually have one about myself when i m not planning other s doom and destruction i have to chalk the good attitude up to my sweet mom who passed away several years ago i do not know how she did it with all the tough parts about her life and her back pain which started in her 40s too mom i know you are with me and it s helping don t think i m going all soft now i still got lots of game peace out tags bad boss bad business bathroom humor blog commentary food living dilbert plants vs zombies rant surgery weight loss women work comments 13 comments categories anger bad boss bathroom humor blog business corporate life eating humor lawyers life public restroom uncategorized link the whatever factor 27 feb the whatever factor hi are you having a good week so far i simply must share something that will help i mean it will help your monday i m not a giant reblogger and it is nothing personal to anyone but damn i could not pass this up izzy is an old blogging friend and she is on a hell of a roll wanted to share she has total living dilbert sass or i have the whatever factor sass not sure but please read and enjoy i m still chuckling and ld needed a chuckle today tags blog burnout commentary life living dilbert monday office humor random rant stupid stupid people women comments 2 comments categories anger blog burnout corporate humor corporate life humor uncategorized diets sadden me 14 feb back update and i know health stuff can be tiring but you have my word that i ll keep it funny i hope you think so found the perfect surgeon a woman and she s amazing i was in awe my last appointment as she used all the words regarding adult idiopathic scoliosis that i know so well i have found the one however it isn t all romance and kisses she looked at me and matter of factly stated blah blah blah probable surgery 46 degrees blah and then looked me right in the eye and told me that i must lose 15 lbs pardon i even looked behind me but she was talking to me it will be good for your back and even better if we go forward with surgery i heard many things my last appointment but this one is sticking out like a fricking neon sign in the desert doesn t she realize that when my back feels like i ve been shot by a 12 guage that i need a chili dog with cheese i need those crispy perfect little tater tots i hung my head life can be tough but i have to suck it up it is ironic that the one thing besides main squeeze that brings me so much joy is being removed from the picture for quite some time you don t understand i love to eat badly i eat like a guy to the delight of most of my friends i try to like healthy stuff but after 46 years that probably ain t gonna change sigh this weekend i attended a 3 year old s birthday party it was so precious but all i could think was for the love of god can t some kid bring in a happy meal i envisioned knocking them aside and stealing all the contents hey i d give them the toy i push the ugliness aside and smile sweetly as i have yet another slice of cucumber and want to puke in my mouth being a responsible grown up is hard sometimes isn t it i want to stamp my feet and cry til i get a tater tot tags adult blog health hell life living dilbert pain rant women comments 23 comments categories anger blog eating humor life doris doomsday 17 jan we all know one male or female these fine folks are the ones that no matter what you tell them news item random fact day of the week they sure as hell know a terrible story about it and want to share it i m afraid living dilbert has been having back problems resulting from a late dose of teenage idiopathic scoliosis that left me with a 40 degree curve i know i know you are already bored so i ll try to make this quick basically i m 46 and now have the spine of an 80 year old and the mother fucker has been hurting a lot for 7 months i ve tried it all selective nerve root blocks steriod injections radio frequency lesioning uh acupuncture cupping and the list goes on and on unfortunately it ain t working there s a very good chance living dilbert will be getting cut and fused in the near future do i like it hell no am i terrified yes am i wearing down from being in pain nearly 20 hours a day oh hell yes thank god i like this job and the people so much and it has allowed me to continue to work even though many days i drag my left leg down the hall resemble quasimodo with my grunts and drool no humpback but you get the facial implications of constant pain hey i can still walk that s a huge plus now that you have the background i can write many posts on this and try to keep it amusing anyway i told a lady here at work that i probably would be getting surgery mistake the first thing she tells me is that of the two people that she knows of that had back surgery they were both ultimately paralyzed and one died language disclaimer shut the fuck up why the fuck would she tell me that oh the same reason some other guy tells me that he had the surgery about 155 years ago and that his back is about to fall out terrific just the thing to cheer me folks i know none of you do this for any of you that may know someone who does for the love of god people if someone shares with you do not tell them how someone died from it or pooped in their pants the rest of their lives or anything similar put a gd gag in your mouth and fricking think before you speak living dilbert is inches away from punching the next one who does this to me in the face i will simply blame my powerful pain meds t...
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