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ust close my browser and tell myself i was being stupid in going on such a trip for one it is expensive of course it s only a fraction of the price it would have cost me to go if i went last summer but it s still quite a chunk of money which thank god i actually was able to save up and pay off before my credit card statement was due another thing that bothered me and made my fingers hover in hesitation over that button was how much time i would be gone three weeks is a lot of time when you calculate all the stuff you could get done if you stay at home i would be loosing the opportunity to earn more money and save up more to pay off my cough accumulated student loans from last year 5500 may not seem too much but it s a hell of a lot to me and knowing the tutoring i ve got waiting for me when i come back that s a good chunk of cash i wouldn t be around to earn yes i m a total workaholic and that just made me realize how much i needed to let go a little and live a little not everything is work and i need to relax and reenergize if i don t want to crash half way through next school year work wise i mean and so i m offfff in less than a week i ll be turing 21 i ve already gone and renewed my driver license i will soon be trading in my vertical dl for a horizontal one it felt weird walking in there and getting all the paperwork in order it felt almost like another stage in my life was about to begin it honestly felt like somewhat a coming of age ritual and i was just about to pass through it s a big deal to me because i m now officially really in my twenties and i realized i need to start thinking like that it s hard getting rid of the mindset that i m still a teenager i m always accidently thinking of myself as one of the kids in school still and it s still tough thinking of myself as an adult whose completely and thank god successfully taking care of herself what drove the point home this year was working with the middle schoolers at the school i work at i realize that i was no longer a 15 year old and that it was ok to start growing up and surprisingly it also made me realize that i don t want to be a 15 year old there was no yearning to be a teeny bopper anymore i ve always been the kid student and now it s my turn to be a little more than that yes 21 is still young and i know i m not going to have the mindset of a 40 year old just yet and hopefully never but i also feel as though i m much too old sometimes it s weird when you realize that you have an easier time befriending people in their 30s than those your own age and i m just beginning to realize that i am who i am and that s okay and in the end age is just a number and not much else but it s taken me a while and i m sure still a while more to come to fully accept and feel comfortable in the skin i m in and not have to constantly wonder and ask myself where do i fit in this wide age group of people well that wraps up the majority of what s happening in my life for now i need to go take a shower and sleep because i ve had too many late nights this weekend and i need as much sleep as i can get to be able to get through the rest of this week thank goodness kids get out of school this friday 2 comments sick who me posted in health fitness with tags doctor visit health on sunday march 29 2009 by dragonsvamp if you know me whether in person or on facebook you d have noticed i ve been sick quite a lot lately the weather is just not helping out one day its hitting the 60s and the next like today its snowing i know in march of all times but being sick with cold flu sinus allergy like symptoms all rolled up into one will end up finally forcing me to admit defeat and go to see the doctor of course i leave the appointment feeling like a bozo because other than needing allergy medicine i was supposedly perfectly healthy my blood pressure and all that nasty stuff is perfect and lookin good of course they drew blood for testing two small tubes filled up quickly with thick gooey super dark red liquid yes the light bright red blood you see on t v is pathetic compared to the real thing so i feel stupid going to the doctor after such an appointment this being sick on and off for more than four months has nothing to do with me but has everything to do with my lack of sleep over work too much stress and not knowing when to say no i need a break type of habits oh and of course a major cause of never feeling healthy is the fact that i work 8 hours a day with kids ranging from 3 to 13 year olds i m usually around the 3 6 spectrum and they re always spreading nasty kid cooties all over the place i haven t even gone and gotten my zyrtec or whatever the allergy med is called from the pharmacy but i ll get around to it this week hopefully to get on with the story i got a call from the doctor friday he told me the blood tests were in and of course something else had to be wrong with me apparently my exhaustion isn t only the effect of lack of sleep and over work but because of some common in females minor imbalance with my thyroids thanks a whole hell of a lot thyroids at least now we know it wasn t all in my head obviously it wasn t because everyone started noticing that i was never looking or feeling good and they kept asking me if i d finally gotten an appointment to check out what was wrong with me and obviously there was no reason for me to feel like a bozo going to the doctor i guess i figure if i ignore my health the problems will just go away you know just like ignoring the dishes in the sink for a couple of weeks and finally a friend will bail you out and wash them for you see they disappeared and look they re all nice and clean in the dishwasher oh sorry you wouldn t know that because you don t have awesome friends like i do so moving on i ve got to go pick the meds for that up this week as well now i m going to have to get on with operation make myself take the meds as soon as i get operation go to the pharmacy done 5 comments the slab of marble posted in university in america with tags college going no where on saturday march 28 2009 by dragonsvamp educational progress slowly chipping away at a slab of marble with a wooden toothpick ooops the toothpick just broke now what will i do well that s how it feels yes i m a senior and still 20 but it feels like i ve been in college for ever which is since 2005 and i don t feel like i m getting anywhere i keep on wanting to add to my majors minors and certifications and therefore am causing much confusion when it comes to what classes to take and how to do it all so that i may use up my time wisely not working so well apparently i probably should talk to a counselor and see what she has to say concerning my education last semester i decided i wanted to do a double major english and math but after taking calculus and getting a nice tidy d in it it s their fault allowing me to test straight into calculus i haven t taken a math class since i graduated high school back years and years ago but no plop they send me straight to calculus i realized that i should stick to enjoying teaching algebra and leave the other big girl stuff to people with more passion for math so what now i ve got four courses left and i could graduate with a normal no frills english degree if i want to add a minor or two that makes the count go up by at least ten more classes some of which i ve already completed and add the beautiful teacher s certification i m stuck in school indefinitely because i can t even start on the certification which in itself is another 20 some credits until i ve got 18 credit hours or 9 courses completed in a teaching minor which is speech in my case add to my problems the fact that the university i m attending even though its considered one of the top ones in the states has limited courses available for those who work full time so most of my classes are offered during the day time and i can t attend them because i have to work not many courses are offered after 4 pm and if they are they re few and far between hence my feeling of chipping away at a slab of marble with nothing more than a toothpick maybe a piece of hay is more like it but as a friend told me recently i m only 20 and already a senior it s not like i m behind or not getting much done but when all your friends around you are graduating and moving on and even those who came to college after you have the end in sight it feels quite dreary though it feels like i m going no where i ve accomplished quite a bit since i turned 17 and entered college but why doesn t it feel like that why do i feel like i m getting no where 3 comments detroit snow and shopping galore posted in randomville with tags car trouble detroit gps snow sweet buys on sunday december 21 2008 by dragonsvamp yesterday was an extremely busy day for me got up before eight and out of the house before 9 am i went all the way down to detroit to pick up a car for a friend roads were just becoming clear after the previous 24 hours of nonstop snowing i believe we got about a foot of snow and the trucks were all over the place clearing snow off of the roads the free ways were clearer and more easily drivable after picking up the car for the friend who would be taking the car on christmas i decided to take a detour because my driving buddy needed to finish up some holiday shopping i m happy i went along the circuit city in this one mall was going out of business and closing down in two days everything was 70 90 off i happened to stumble upon a magellan maestro gps that retailed for 299 it was out of the box but in near perfect condition i got it for 75 now that s a sweet buy another sweet buy was my nexxtech wireless transmitter and charger this thing lets me play my ipod through an fm station on my car radio while charging my ipod something i ve been wanting for a while regular price 59 99 how much did i get it for a mere 18 bucks i m surprised i found both those at all the store was nearly empty everything super good was already gone i guess people overlooked those two things my driving buddy got a mio gps for 45 its retail price around 150 i ve used friends gpss before and really liked them but couldn t justify spending so much money on them when i could just used mapquest or googlemaps to figure out directions but coming upon such a sweet buy i couldn t help myself it was too good to turn away from i spent the rest of the day helping my buddy find gifts for friends and family it s fun when you go shopping to help a friend instead of going shopping to spend money you don t feel obliged to spend money or buy anything even though i did end up buying stuff on the flip side of things more car trouble has headed my way i believe it s time for me to part with my beloved ahem car she s been giving me problems left and right on thursday the car decided to die on me in the middle of m running a million errands i stayed at home all friday because i was extremely sick on saturday i was out all day getting my friend s car and holiday shopping but didn t use my car i did turn it on to make sure it worked though and it did but today it refused to start thank god it s winter break and i don t have work to worry about my car working or not but that s only for another two weeks i need to figure out a solution to this problem i keep getting my car fixed and it keeps falling apart on me it s old and about time to retire so i keep getting told that i need to get another car but i can t afford one at the moment i m sure something will come up soon to solve this problem if not i might have to take out a loan and buy a used car that s newer than mine we ll see snow snow and more snow it decided to start snowing towards the end of the day yesterday and apparently it snowed quite a bit throughout the night i woke up this morning to find the roads covered in snow again and my drive way completely buried oh well i guess i ll just end up staying inside for the rest of the day since my car won t work and i don t really urgently need to do anything or i just take my friend s car out for a spin since he won t be picking it up until christmas evening hmmmmmm 3 comments let it snow posted in michigan photos with tags sick snow winter break on friday december 19 2008 by dragonsvamp so the last day of school for 2008 turns out to be a snow day it started snowing at 1 am on the 19th and hasn t stopped yet one extra day off for winter break that makes 17 whole days it s a break i know the whole school needed most of all the teachers it s gotten super hectic and tiring and so winter break couldn t come at a better time being holed up in my apartment isn t too bad actually first i know i have over two weeks of free time to go out and do as i please without the constraints of work and college second i m extremely sick and barely have any voice left in me so i needed the rest and relaxation for the first time in months i got to sleep in averaging about six hours a night of sleep has taken its toll on me and the result never getting better about a month ago i got sick and lost my voice and finally started getting better before i was thrown back into sick realm but that s not something i m bothered by yes its annoying to be sick but it s not going to stop me from getting stuff done the view from outside my living room window other than watching all the snow falling outside and seeing how beautiful all the whiteness is i am making a huge dent in my reading almost done with artemis fowl and the time paradox already finished reading the child called it and doing all kinds of stuff with my facebook account and my blog ahh the loveliness of winter break 2 comments older entries with a frozen heart and a soul on fire blog stats 101 635 hits a a select category blog news 17 book reviews 16 cut out 2 driving 7 family 3 food 7 general idiocracy 6 goals 4 health fitness 9 home sweet home 12 in love 3 jordan idiocracy 38 life experiences 6 michigan 22 movie reviews 22 music review 6 my university life 73 university in america 15 note 20 photos 1 press release 2 randomville 90 shockers 6 travel 4 turkey 11 work arama 23 adventures in wadi seer 3 writing et all 6 work poetry 3 blogs i read aminoholic ayah the un named ellira gwen s blog to the coast jennifer s blog kat the um god of poetry kenaz lines of my life madison s blog while in china mind miss ed manners moey my new adventure and experience with aiesec nadia omernos organized lunacy plastic pam ramblings of the disoriented mind sabreen s stream of consciousness sam samia red sanitary measures scyth s edge the desktop the life of the great and humble me thor and erin what am i readin writing the winnower interesting sites critters jordan blogs jordan planet science and islam share islam teenage writers young writers online the top author blogs archives february 2015 1 july 2009 2 june 2009 2 march 2009 2 december 2008 5 november 2008 2 september 2008 4 august 2008 1 july 2008 3 june 2008 2 may 2008 4 april 2008 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