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changing expectations skip to main skip to sidebar changing expectations life is constantly forcing me to change my expectations wednesday march 23 2011 looks like this one is a go 13 weeks and counting 1st trimester screen went well 1st ob appt went well too always strange to transition to the ob upon graduation from the clinic what no ultrasound every visit what no more hormones to take it s a good feeling i probably will have gestational diabetes again with this pregnancy so i ll have to pay attention to my diet but that s not a problem i failed the one hour but not by much and they didn t require me to fast prior to taking the test so already testing my blood sugar in lieu of taking the three hour test really didn t want to take the test last time i got about 10 sticks instead of the usual 3 due to dehydration etc for the recent one hour that i failed the nurse had a stick me 4 times i don t give up blood very easily so in a good place now hoping and praying for a healthy baby to join the crew posted by changing expectations at 8 00 pm 16 comments friday january 28 2011 2nd beta went in on wednesday for the 2nd beta and here are the stats 1st pregnancy delivered initial beta 9dp5dt or 14dpo 190 follow on beta at 16dp5dt or 21dpo 3700 or approx 1 1 2 days doubling time 38 52 hours 2nd delivered initial beta 9dp5dt or 14dpo 229 follow on beta at 16dp5dt or 21dpo 1700 or approx 2 1 2 days doubling time 57 05 hours 3rd pregnancy ongoing initial beta 9dp5dt or 14dpo 83 follow on beta at 16dp5dt or 21dpo 2800 or approx 1 1 2 days doubling time 32 5 hours all in the correct range now we wait for the sonogram this all seems so out of character for us 1st pregnancy 9 attempts successful on fresh cycle 2nd pregnancy 3 attempts successful on fresh cycle 3rd pregnancy successful on a frozen cycle wtf waiting to see what happens posted by changing expectations at 4 24 pm 10 comments wednesday january 19 2011 at it again since it has been such a long time not sure if i still have any readers but here goes it we are at it again since my last post i went on to deliver a healthy baby boy i worked through the gestational diabetes and was able to control it very well throughout the remainder of the pregnancy the second baby weighed less than the first no diabetes the first time around and i am now 10 lbs lighter than my pre pregancy weight with the second baby 20 lbs lighter than the 1st baby from the last fresh cycle two embryos were frozen since i am not getting any younger we decided to go ahead and do the frozen cycle right away surprise got an initial beta today of 83 significantly less than either of my other initial betas but apparently ok guess we need to get ready for the roller coaster ride that is the next few weeks and hopefully months and years more updates to follow posted by changing expectations at 12 30 pm 3 comments tuesday may 4 2010 tired long time no post things are going ok here just wanted to post an update 31 weeks and have officially moved into high risk gestational diabetes not so excited about this news but have it under control baby boy is measuring ahead by 3 weeks as of a couple of weeks ago i am so tired that i cannot even summon the energy to really even talk to anyone still working the usual 12 hour days someone asked me yesterday when i was going on break manspeak for maternity leave another woman in the room jumped in and gave him the lowdown on maternity leave it was amusing wonder why some men and women for that matter think of maternity leave as just time off from work posted by changing expectations at 8 05 pm 13 comments sunday november 15 2009 6w6d no symptoms so it s 6w6d and i basically have no symptoms sometimes i feel slightly nauseous but even then i think that it is related to my allergies and stress i am giving all credit for my moodiness to the progesterone but other than that nothing to speak of holidays are coming thanksgiving in a couple of weeks and then the christmas holiday season looking forward to it but less this year than before thinking that i will be the internet shopper this year and forget about the treks to the mall looks like most stores may ship for free hopefully so then i don t even have to feel guilty about not pulling out the all day shopping trips i love free shipping i also love free gift wrap bring it on internet retail land the best holidays are thanksgiving and 4th of july no presents and you can prepare for them the day before love it i am a super procrastinator remember crisis mode and with other holidays you just can t wait that long halloween not so much costumes go quickly people found that out the hard way this thanksgiving i don t even have to cook just show up with one super easy dish i love it the day before tm and i will be attending a great sporting event and then maybe just maybe we ll get to sleep in the next morning if my mil will help out i can hardly wait posted by changing expectations at 7 14 pm 3 comments friday november 13 2009 friday the 13th a good day well good news today from the scan we have a heartbeat all in all that should make for a great day had a nice lunch with tm afterwards and for a little while got to enjoy in the moment work continues to be challenging lots of people are very angry right now due to new processes and i am stuck in the middle the proverbial punching bag i am going to try and hang in there but am feeling pretty raw right now want to give up and that is not like me wondering if managing people and multiple department priorities is my bag twice today i told myself to hang in there for a little over 8 months and then go on leave not good i am vowing now that i will not let work dictate my leave this time i will not work during my leave and as of right now i am also vowing not to let work get to me i will take it all with a grain of salt because i need to focus in on what is important family and not let any other distractors get in the way now i hope that i remember this in 5 minutes ha too bad that i have to work this weekend posted by changing expectations at 8 50 pm 8 comments saturday november 7 2009 yes or maybe well its been a whirlwind few months greenlight to try again in april bfn in late june for a fresh cycle two embyos transferred and then a low and declining beta result in august with a frozen cycle three frozen embryos transferred so we went ahead and did another fresh in sept oct and have a positive the initial beta was higher than the first pregnancy but the doubling rate was lower so not really sure how to read those results here they are 1st pregnancy delivered initial beta 9dp5dt or 14dpo 190 follow on beta at 16dp5dt or 21dpo 3700 or approx 1 1 2 days doubling time 2nd current results initial beta 9dp5dt or 14dpo 229 follow on beta at 16dp5dt or 21dpo 1700 or approx 2 1 2 days doubling time my cycle coordinator stated that the second set of numbers is as consistent as the first she is basing this on the fact that the doubling time should be between 2 3 days looked on betabase info and most people do fit into the 36 63 hour range for a singleton doubling values but the hours factor above just appears so different to me so not sure what to think anyway the first scan is schedule for 6 weeks 3 days next week so we ll see what happens right now noticing that this time is really different than last time as in no symptoms at all don t know if this is because i literally have no time to notice anything different about myself or if this is because there is nothing to notice i have had quite a bit of outside the home and inside the home stress the last few weeks so when i say that i have had no time to focus on myself i really mean it my work schedule is so crazy that the usual is a 50 60 hour work week i truly am looking back at the last few months really the last few years and now am beginning to wonder if i am a crisis person you know one of those people that isn t happy unless there is some sort of crisis or drama going on for example the last 5 years 9 ivf transfers 5 fresh and 4 frozen one pregnancy becoming a foster mom becoming a mom working through maternity leave due to work requirements steadily working 50 60 hour weeks for the last couple years 3 additional ivf transfers 2 fresh and 1 frozen continuing to work 50 60 hour weeks wtf the previous 6 years get engaged cross country move change jobs commuting miles of over 150 day rt local move to reduce commuting miles build house get married husband diagnosed with cancer 2 surgeries 3 hospital admissions and chemo following move again change job another cross country move another local move build house another local move you get the idea so i am one of those people not sure how not to be in crisis mode at this point but i am really willing to try for the sake of staying positive i will refer to this type of personality as determined hard working and persevering hey whatever gets me through the day i think that anyone willing to go through any type of infertility treatment must also be this type of personality because we all know that it is anything but easy tests shots waiting waiting everyone knows the drill all for now posted by changing expectations at 11 16 am 14 comments older posts home subscribe to posts atom about me changing expectations i am 33 struggling to maintain a normal life while navigating my way through infertility view my complete profile blog archive 2011 3 march 1 looks like this one is a go 13 weeks and countin january 2 2010 1 may 1 2009 9 november 3 june 3 may 2 april 1 2008 5 august 2 april 1 march 1 january 1 2007 43 december 1 november 1 october 4 september 4 august 7 july 6 june 5 may 5 april 6 march 4 blogs i read a sibling for celia a somewhat ordinary life baby proof behind schedule daisy bella vida broken eggs child bearing hips coming 2 terms conflicted destined to be a mom fertile hope from the peanut gallery in and out of luck in search of the stork jenn s journal lies my mother told me little beans 4 me looking for two lines and other ramblings maybe baby me and my unresponsive ovaries me the bumble bee my grasp at sanity my journey my perky ovaries not how i planned it one miracle needed out damned egg out i say outlandish notions reproductive jeans rotten eggs musings of an ivf addict serenity now so i wait for you cibele still trying after all those pills stirrup queens and sperm palace jesters tales from my dusty ovaries the impatient patient the sweet life upon awakening uterus monologues wishing it would get easier stat counter