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Text of the page (random words):
oreigner in romani what happens to him next is my story saturday may 15 2010 t t f n i sign a new contract next week i ll be full time again and probably incapable of much beyond grunting and farting when i arrive home to the bosom of my family in the evening i told mrs dilo that i ll try to get home earlier than i did before so we can enjoy the summer sun together in the garden i therefore need to leave for work earlier i therefore need to do less blogging and it feels like a natural place for a pause right now i ve still got masses of stuff in my head that i need to get out heck i ve got many posts already written but it s time for a break thanks to everybody who s made blogging such a rewarding experience for me especially those who comment so regularly and reliably but i m sure i ll miss it and you and i ll be back before long i leave you with the new team now i always was an optimist and so i m feeling quite chipper about this new con lib dem dave nick alliance i ve been hearing how it s unfolded mainly from the trashy dirty mouths of cnn s fionnuala sweeney and becky anderson two of a kind if you ask me both 44 years of age and with at least one divorce apiece behind them at a guess with a slatternly grasp of the english language they have literally been tearing each other apart looking to the future going forward and probably never happier than with a malibu and black in one hand and a lambert butler in the other in other words not merely tv journalists but gals i d expect a 60 40 chance of going home with if i met one of them at a nightclub called roxy s but i digress i was also very pleased to observe that on hearing the news my totally unjustified inverse snobbery didn t kick in regarding our new beloved leader s background and so though i can t top gaw s sam and dave in no 10 to prove the point here s another old etonian we took to our hearts the late mr humph lyttleton ta ta for now posted by gadjo dilo at 12 34 am 46 comments labels 44 year old divorcees after a few drinks floreat etona friendship humphrey lyttleton friday may 7 2010 just wait till i get through with it nb i ve written this post before the result of the election has become clear with the intention to post it as is whatever that result might be i totally and shamefully failed to register to vote this time when i d made up my mind who to vote for i realised i d missed the deadline but on wednesday on the eve of the election i made amends for my lack of political engagement i finally saw yes for the first time the marx brothers film duck soup a lot of the gags are reruns of gags i already knew from bbc radio s excellent re creation of the marx bros sheekman and perrin scripted radio series flywheel shyster and flywheel but that didn t matter you can t keep a good gag down and then there s also some great physical comedy and was there ever a more perfect foil than the stately margaret dumont it was the ideal moment to see this film if you think this country s bad off now just wait till i get through with it about 5 48 minutes into this clip groucho explains his plan for running the kingdom of freedonia posted by gadjo dilo at 1 26 am 17 comments labels elections margaret dumont the marx brothers tuesday may 4 2010 gadjo s turner prize 1 a brief glimpse at the news on the bbc yesterday informed me that it s that time of year again i love modern art me it makes me righteously indignant as no amount of tax rises or human rights atrocities ever could i ll get onto the business of singing whispering grass in a bratislavan public lavatory as a masterpiece to rival rembrandt later but there s another reason for me to bring up the subject now we have several blank spaces on our walls chez dilo i ve tried to get my pictures and their frames over from uk but it was too difficult for the big ones so i want to buy some masterpieces over the internet that i can hang up and here are the criteria for choosing them the right colour our walls are lime green and any picture should match this tastefully easy on the eye we don t exactly have that brian sewell coming round for dinner too often so no art in the house should be too challenging for our guests poetic or classical scenes countryside and animals etc would probably be ok no pornography i did bring over some smaller pictures including edvard munch s lovely yellow madonna that s the mother of jesus not the madonna but mrs dilo s convinced it s pornography she s even insisted i keep it my study with a small curtain that can be drawn across it i ll have to be careful this narrows it down and to narrow it down even further i ve decided for this first selection no rubbish here are some i ve found that may fulfil the criteria 1 the farmer s daughter by john everett millais mrs dilo and i liked the recent millais exhibition at london s tate gallery very christmassy this is like that sweet little connemara girl but this one s made a bit more of an effort she s a ginger so is never going to be appreciated as anything except art but oh what if she starts feeling tired carrying all that milk about and has a lie down in the grass and oh i mustn t think about that maybe the wife will see what i m thinking 2 the washerwomen by camille pissarro mr pissaro s pictures have plenty of green in them like he got a job lot of it and didn t want to waste it i m the same like me he also loves to watch women at work but hang on what if they splashed each other and their blouses became really quite wet and ah 3 the lady of shalott by john waterhouse you really can t beat the pre raphaelites for sheer good taste and gingerness and there s some nice greens here and but oh heck imagine if she thought nobody was watching and decided to take off her clothes and have a skinny dip 4 deux poires by édouard manet paintings of actual limes which would be perfect for our wall obviously were rarely done by your old masters but other fruit can be a similar colour here oh no that s just one pair édouard we know what you re trying to suggest typical bloody frenchie 5 diana and callisto by titian blimey this is more difficult that i thought it would be a nice classical scene outdoors and i think there s even a farmyard animal in there somewhere but and here s loads more where this came from i had no better luck with dryads or nymphs either i m going to have to give this up 6 the alan carr tennis girl poster ah now maybe this is the one tennis is classy there s some green in the background and it s a classic scene the original athena poster showing a girl on a tennis court scratching her arse remember was indeed a classic selling 2 million copies but luckily here there s not a woman in sight i can t see anybody objecting to this ok now the prize choose the one you think is best for us and you could win gadjo s turner prize yes lana tina anthea alan turner subject to availability will visit your home dance for you and let you paint her his sensual writhing naked body with a set of rowney artist s watercolour paints in the art movement style of your choosing fauvism dadaism vorticism it s entirely up to you in the next episode when the painting you ve chosen is up on the wall and accepted as part of the furniture i ll offer you a selection to chose from that s a little more modern and daring to end and especially for zmkc here s the immortal peter and dud on the subject posted by gadjo dilo at 11 07 pm 17 comments labels alan carr art brian sewell emmerdale good taste mrs dilo the madonna thursday april 29 2010 history today 2 my previous efforts to solve the transylvanian problem set a ball of historical reassessment rolling in my own head anyway and i fully intend to further pursue my investigations however there s just a chance though it may be a long shot that we don t have to rake up the past and thereby get on everybody s tits maybe we can convince both sides that it simply doesn t matter the only way to do this is trivialisation and there s nothing more trivial than a tv game show surely so i hereby summon game show king mr bruce forsythe brucie nice to see you to see you assembled masses of romanians and hungarians in unison nice brucie welcome to the transylvanian generation game where we try to stop generations upon generations of romanians and hungarians continuing to hate and or distrust each other now here we have nicolae ceauşescu who works as a dictator and who instigated a programme of systematically oppressing hungarian culture and sometimes beating people up simply for speaking hungarian and he s accompanied by his lovely wife come over here my love over here elena ceauşescu a semi literate peasant woman who nevertheless required that she be revered as a major international scientist didn t she do well assembled masses of romanians and hungarians in unison and with 100 irony hurray brucie and their opponents today are miklós horthy who works as regent of hungary but he s only got his hands on emphasising the word and giving a meaningful look to the camera the rump of hungary these days amorah in unison not understanding if that was a joke but suspecting it probably was ha ha ha brucie and with him today is his lovely great great aunt twice removed countess erzsébet báthory and it says here that give us a twirl my love give us a twirl you work as possibly the world s most prolific female serial killer amorah in unison despite themselves hurray brucie the first game today is an easy one to get you started and it s called what to do with the jews miklós when you came to power in 1920 you introduced laws severely restricting education opportunities for jews and presided over a two year period known as the white terror when thousands of jews and socialists were massacred and sadistically tortured do you think you can win this game horthy miklós an iron broom alone could sweep the country clean brucie nicolae you sold jews to israel for a good price and invoked the fascist rhetoric of earlier romanian leaders whenever you saw advantage in it how do you rate your chances nicolae ceauşescu we ve made good money this way but grinning maybe i steal his broom later if i need it amorah slapping each other on the back and falling about in hysterics hurray ha ha ha ha ha brucie the next game is called who should run transylvania nicolae nicolae ceauşescu shrugging his shoulders you know there are more errr business opportunities for me in bucharest and every time i come to transylvania everybody is so stuck up i think i must have fall asleep in train and arrive in austria amorah in unison practically wetting themselves ha ha ha ha ha brucie miklós how about you horthy miklós pausing it s a tense moment you know transylvanian peasants both romanian and hungarian rose up against our rule the germans we installed there eventually betrayed us and we even had to fight our brother magyars the székely on occasions hmph i don t want it either a voice from the audience actually zsa zsa gabor for it is she hey brucie why don t you be king of transylvania would you need a queen brucie giving a look to the camera dthuthvugthrvth another voice from the audience ilie năstase this time and bring your former miss world ex wives with you i find work for them amorah in unison several vigorous miscegenationist relationships having already started up on the back row seats ha ha ha ha ha hurray brucie good game good game looking at camera it looks like i m the contestant for the conveyor belt round then after i ve seen all the wonderful things on it all i have to do is remember what they were i get to keep every one i remember and lose the others ready ready the lovely anthea on the conveyor belt today we have transylvania human rights historical objectivity political accountability harmonious multiculturalism cuddly toy though it does of course communist era thinking is still in evidence and should be undone i m hoping that ethnic hungarian lászló tőkés catalyst of the 1989 revolution and now well placed as an independent member of the european parliament will lobby successfully in this vein this is not really fair she s not exactly relevant to the discussion here having carried out her activities in today s slovakia between the years 1585 and 1610 and being a psychopathic freak that any society might throw up but for some she epitomises surely unfairly albeit colourfully the dissociation from ordinary humanity claimed to be in evidence in the attitudes of the hungarian aristocracy and i needed a female that noise brucie makes when he s dithering posted by gadjo dilo at 12 28 am 18 comments labels base human instincts and commonly held enmities bringing people together bruce forsythe hungarians i will have no friends left after this lászló tőkés romanians monday april 26 2010 classical music is for ponces 2 warning the following is of interest to classical music fans only and maybe not even them unfortunately i couldn t sing in the amateur concert this month as my throat was wrecked by flu and then by singing the high frigging as in handel s hallelujah chorus what bastard gives tenors so many high as at least beethoven had the excuse that he was deaf and couldn t hear the result and it s a bit strident isn t it at least in romania one doesn t have to stand up there may be another chance of a concert in the summer i ll have added more schubert to my repertoire by then and right now what with the garden bursting into life i m in a springtime mood though of course this won t be very topical then will it first up it s frühlingsglaube faith in spring an unusually swoopy rendition but i like it by norwegian valkyriist kirsten flagstad and my homey gerald moore and at the risk of sounding fotherington thomas here is the text this year s will it won t it ever get warm has certainly tested our faith in spring to the max hasn t it next we have im fruhling in spring with two of the absolute all time masters messrs dietrich fischer dieskau and sviatoslav richter the gentle winds are awakened they murmur and waft day and night they create in every corner oh fresh scent oh new sound now poor dear heart fear not now everything everything must change the world becomes more beautiful with each day one does not know what may yet happen the blooming doesn t want to end the farthest deepest valley blooms now poor dear forget the pain now everything everything must change posted by gadjo dilo at 12 12 am 12 comments labels classical music fotherington thomas schubert spring wednesday april 21 2010 the times they are a changin 1 this town has come a long way since 1989 and even further since the country sneaked under the european union entrance requirements limbo bar while the other member states representatives were away having piña coladas games of hunt the soap and vigorous discussions about uganda in peter mandelson s jacuzzi there are many signs of these changes one of the first was a goth bar and transylvania s only japanese restaurant we also now have aromatherapy clinics...