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Text of the page (random words):
new little one i also feel like i ve totally betrayed the infertile community i feel like a jerk i think 9 out of 10 people i ve told about this pregnancy have made a comment like i hear that happens all the time or i know so many people that has happened for one person even said i guess when you relax and your mind isn t on it then it can just happen please know that i have corrected all of these people and i had to really resist the urge to punch the person who mentioned relaxing but i have become that girl one of the stories that people will tell to try to encourage someone struggling with infertility a story that won t encourage anyone in the midst of shots procedures and home pregnancy tests i apologize in advance to anyone who ever hears this story and wants to throw things or hit people because of it i ve been there i know friends i think this is the last dance for dancing with infertility it seems time to dim the lights turn the music off and rest awhile i m not sure if anyone is still reading this but if you are please know that this girl is still hoping and praying that each and every one of us out there in the infertile blogsphere is called mommy someday it is hard to explain the encouragement and love i have felt from so many of you that i only know through your blogs but thank you for everything amy posted by amy at 7 32 pm 9 comments tuesday january 20 2009 what is a girl to do poas my period arrived for the first time post baby in december i marked my calendar i counted my days this isn t my first rodeo and wouldn t you know it i was late i had a hard time deciding what to think about being late my periods weren t like clockwork until i got on clomid it was totally normal to have 28 day cycles 32 day cycles 42 day cycles etc but the calendar said i was a week late what is a girl to do well i had planned to wait it out no need to test i was pretty sure we hadn t had sex at any peak times i ll just wait it out but my period didn t come and didn t come and didn t come the calendar kept inching farther from my expected start date and closer to my best friend s bachelorette party what is a girl to do so i stopped by target to grab a few more items for my bachelorette bag of honeymoon goodies and decided to pick up a pregnancy test i got the 2 pack woke up early friday morning and tested i waited my 3 minutes and the test said no of course i felt the strangest mixture of emotions part of me was so sad i want to be able to get pregnant on my own another part of me was okay though because i don t think we re ready for baby 2 just yet later that afternoon as i was throwing last minute items into my suitcase my period arrived nice so no september baby for us which is fine and slightly depressing at the same time i ve been down the road of infertility before why do i still think i make the timelines and schedules why do i still think i m in control why can t i let go and trust the lord posted by amy at 7 42 pm 2 comments wednesday january 07 2009 any 1st and 15th siestas out there i frequently read the living proof ministries blog written by beth moore and her two daughters amanda and melissa for 2009 lpm has challenged their readers with scripture memory the plan is to pick out a new verse to memorize on the 1st and another one on the 15th so if you follow the plan you ll memorize 24 pieces of scripture this year since over 3000 people have posted that they will participate i was wondering if any of my blog friends were if you are then comment so we can encourage each other throughout this year and i d love to know what verses you are memorizing my verse for the first two weeks in january is psalm 119 9 12 how can a young man keep his way pure by living according to your word i seek you with all my heart do not let me stray from your commands i have hidden your word in my heart that i might not sin against you praise be to you o lord teach me your decrees posted by amy at 7 51 pm 0 comments tuesday december 30 2008 best gift ever my thoughts and prayers are with those of you still waiting for your gift may this be the last holiday season without your little one posted by amy at 9 45 am 1 comments saturday december 06 2008 6 months my baby boy is 6 months old today half a year has gone by since i first held this precious boy who encompasses so many of our hopes and dreams he has the best laugh and the sweetest smile he wakes up happy and that smile has almost converted me into a morning person people have asked me if i like being a mom i always think this is a strange questions wouldn t it be disturbing if i said no i always say it is way better than i ever imagined and i imagined that it would be pretty awesome he fell asleep feeding the other night i held him in my arms and just tried to soak in all his little features i hope that when i die that if my life flashes before my eyes that i get to falsh back to some of these quiet sweet moments just holding my baby while he was small and sleeping god is so good i am overwhelmed thank you jesus thank you for our son help us to raise him to be a man who loves and worships you thank you for jw a husband who has been with me every step on this journey to parenthood and lord thank you for the journey without the trials i don t think we would fully know the joys thanks for having a plan for us thank you jesus for being the path the light on the path and the purpose of the journey posted by amy at 9 25 pm 1 comments tuesday december 02 2008 thankful this year i m thankful i m thankful for our new jobs jw and i both took new jobs this year and they are both working out well we like where we re working and both of us are being challenged professionally like never before our new house it is so much closer to my parents and my sister about 20 minutes instead of an hour and 20 minutes it has been great finding a new church we loved our old church and weren t sure if we d find a new place when we moved we found a place that is great though and we can t wait to build relationships there my niece s adoption was finally finalized our family has lived on the fine line between hope and despair for the past year waiting for this to happen finalization was a week before thanksgiving and of course i m thankful for my little pilgrim and how wonderful it is to be married to the man of my dreams posted by amy at 4 32 pm 0 comments saturday november 08 2008 keeping our fingers crossed a good friend of mine found out she was pregnant recently she s about 10 weeks along i was so excited for her because it took 3 iuis for them to conceive their first child and she had all sorts of hormonal issues this baby was conceived without any medical assistance it has really made me hope that we will have a similar story but of course i m not sure if i m ready to write that chapter just yet i mean little man is only 5 months old no need to have 2 under 1 1 2 posted by amy at 1 02 pm 0 comments saturday september 27 2008 a parable on motherhood this is a short story by temple bailey that i read at my grandmother s funeral my grandmother was very much like the woman in this story she is more than a memory a parable on motherhood by temple bailey the young mother set her foot on the path of life is the way long she asked and her guide said yes and the way is hard and you will be old before you reach the end of it but the end will be better than the beginning but the young mother was happy and she would not believe that anything could be better than those years so she played with her children and gathered flowers for them along the way and bathed them in the clear streams and the sun shone on them and life was good and the young mother cried nothing will never be lovelier than this then night came and storm and the path was dark and the children shook with fear and cold and the mother drew them close and covered them with her mantle and the children said oh mother we are not afraid for you are near and no harm can come and the mother said this is better than the brightness of day for i have taught my children courage and the morning came and there was a hill ahead and the children climbed and grew weary and the mother was weary but at all times she said to the children a little patience and we are there so the children climbed and when they reached the top they said we could not have done it without you mother and the mother when she lay down that night looked up at the stars and said this is a better day than the last for my children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness yesterday i gave them courage today i have given then strength and with the next day came strange clouds which darkened the earth clouds of war and hate and evil and the children groped and stumbled and the mother said look up lift your eyes to the light and the children looked and saw above the clouds an everlasting glory and it guided them and brought them beyond the darkness and that night the mother said this is the best day of all for i have shown my children god and the days went on and the weeks and the months and the years and the mother grew old and she was little and bent and her children were tall and strong and walked with courage and when the way was rough they lifted her for she was as light as a feather and at last they came to a hill and beyond the hill they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide and the mother said i have reached the end of my journey and now i know that the end is better than the beginning for my children can walk alone and their children after them and the children said you will always walk with us mother even when you have gone through the gates and they stood and watched her as she went on alone and the gates closed after her and they said we cannot see her but she is with us still a mother like ours is more than a memory she is a living presence posted by amy at 10 19 am 2 comments my grandma rita the weekend after labor day we took our little man to iowa to visit my grandparents my grandmother was in the hospital because of complications arising from lung cancer my grandfather has alzheimer s my grandmother was very frail and barely had the strength to feed herself she lit up when she saw our baby though he laid in the hospital bed beside her for a while and she loved every minute of it my grandfather was so surprised by the baby but held him and cuddled him it was a priceless weekend i ll forever be thankful that we went to visit when we did because my grandmother passed away on sept 19th we flew back to iowa for the funeral it was good to be around our family but it also didn t feel the same without her there i had an amazing grandmother words can t really explain her her family and her faith were so important to her and she passed that on to her children and grandchildren in the midst of all that sept 22nd was the anniversary of our egg transfer i look at the picture of those two precious embryos and i m so thankful that a year later i m cuddling a wiggly giggly 14 lb baby boy i said a special prayer that the lord will protect our little frozen embryo until we re ready to expand our family posted by amy at 10 05 am 0 comments thursday august 28 2008 no exceptions so noah has been at daycare for almost 2 full weeks i say almost because the preschool was closed last thursday and friday for teacher inservice noah got to enjoy thursday at home with his daddy and spent friday with his aunt ya ya and cousin ava overall i like his daycare they aren t perfect but if he can t stay home with me then i know this is the best place for him to be i do have some issues with the main teacher in his class though here s the story each day noah is sent home with a little form telling about his day it details when he ate slept and was changed it s great when i went to pick him up last monday 8 18 across the top of the form his teacher had written a note and highlighted it with pink highlighter it said family me pictures due wednesday am or no poster for crib no excpetions and yes the nos were in all caps you see at noah s school each baby has a poster in their crib with pictures of their families they are really cute and it makes me happy to think that noah could look at our faces during the day when i dropped noah s supplies off at the school the week before he started the director had mentioned bringing in the pictures honestly though with starting a new job and still getting settled in the house it wasn t really a priority no one had mentioned anything since then so i read the note and as i m driving home i start trying to think of how we are going to get family pictures together by wednesday am i had left my camera at my sister s house the previous weekend i was trying to run through my mind of what pictures were saved on the computers then i started to get upset because i was so stressed out about this silly poster part of me wanted to say no exceptions seriously noah has been at school a week we ll be in that class for the next 11 months or so why do the pictures have to be in this week no exceptions fine then i ll make my own freaking poster no exceptions wait a second don t i pay for noah to go to this school things were busy so i waited until tuesday to try to get the pictures together i saved a bunch of photos to my pen drive and tried to go print them out at cvs the cvs near us is a 24 hour cvs we arrived at 10 05pm and the photo lab closed at 10pm argghh so instead we bought some photo paper and came home to print out some pictures we printed 3 and then ran out of ink so here we are at 11pm opening box after box in the guest room trying to find the photo albums and then leafing through the photo albums to find good pictures of all the grandparents aunt and uncles and of course the parents i kept getting so mad at the daycare center because it is ridiculous that we were so stressed out about this silly poster but of course i can t let my baby be the only baby in the class without pictures of his family in the end josh and i had to laugh because we knew that someday we d be more stressed about a school project than noah was we just didn t know it would happen at 11 weeks posted by amy at 4 35 pm 2 comments contributors amy links our re s website the nest trouble ttc board we re all in this together stirup queens may day girl making twiglet cibele they grow in your heart katd entrusted soul andrea grace is still enough glenna sticky bean kristen gracechild in search of morning sickness previous posts i m that girl what is a girl to do poas any 1st and 15th siestas out there best gift ever 6 months thankful keeping our fingers crossed a parable on motherhood my grandma rita no exceptions archives august 2006 september 2006 october 2006 november 2006 december 2006 january 2007 february 2007 march 2007 april 2007 may 2007 june 2007 july 2007 august 2007 september 2007 october 2007 november 2007 december 2007 january 2008 february 2008 march 2008 april 2008 may 2008 june 2008 july 2...