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s possible and pumped so much water into my body that i thought my stomach might explode that seemed to do the trick so i chalked it up to too many salty appetizers sleep is pretty much nonexistent at this point i wake up every two hours to a pulsating bladder a bladder that when emptied is quite disappointing with regard to quantity how can it feel like i have a gallon of urine to get rid of and yet only a few trickles actually exit i get wicked heartburn regardless of when i last ate so the tums raid has become a nightly ritual also the hip nerve pain has gradually become excruciating laying on my back is a no no but laying on my side gives me sciatica so i m forced to pretty much sleep in an upright position my cumulative sleep is probably about 3 4 hours on a good night i don t know how i get my job done as a walking zombie but i somehow find a way i consider this good practice for when we re in the company of a newborn but you better believe i m waiting anxiously for maternity leave to begin all of these signs are a blessing in disguise while i may think of it as misery sometimes i know deep down inside that it all means i am getting closer to that ultimate moment mother nature can dish out as much of it as she wants if it means i ll be holding my baby boy one month from now with love from kristen at 10 01 am 9 comments monday june 30 2008 in which more time passes it s been a week again my bad time just keeps passing me by i almost wish it would slow down a little so i could catch my breath can you believe it will be july tomorrow july where did june go first of all i have to comment on the bfp bonanza going on in the blogworld between my girls alison mel and jj i m about to go into preterm labor over here give them lots of love while they anxiously wait for glimpses of their little uterine inhabitants eta forgive my preggo brain but don t forget to stop by and congratulate samantha she has been through hell and back on her ivf journey and could use some hugs right now as well p word and baby talk below my 34 week appointment went well last week fundal height was right where it should be heart rate showed a happy and healthy baby boy doctor s words not mine i swear bp was nice and low weight is okay 36 lbs i was hoping to gain less than 40 overall but whatever i eat when i m hungry which just so happens to be about every 2 hours and i ve passed the point of freaking out over weight gain i just want to get through the next several weeks and if that means stuffing my face with milkshakes jello and italian ice so be it a pregnant woman has to subsist in this heat and so far that is my only means of survival my next appointment at 36 weeks will entail a group b strep gbs swab and my first cervical check i was really starting to like not having to drop my panties at my appointments and now we re back to everyone and their brother viewing my most private areas guess i better get accustomed to it now since l d will be the ultimate display in cooch e vision we are still making progress towards preparing for our sunshine we interviewed a pediatrician last wednesday and we felt comfortable enough to decide to give her a try it is a multi group practice about 5 miles from our apartment and they have evening and weekend hours for acute care all of the doctors have their own cell phones and we were encouraged to call at anytime if we had any questions being first time parents i have no doubt we will overreact and need extra reassurance so this was a big deal to us they also have 2 lactation consultants on staff to assist with breastfeeding again a big plus for me being a first timer we discussed the vaccine controversy and they are very flexible although they recommend following the american academy of pediatrics timeline they will allow the parents to modify if that is their choice while i will most likely stick to the standard schedule i like having the option to split up the shots so too many aren t given at one time or to delay a shot if it makes me feel more at ease there were only 2 minor issues our pediatrician will be on vacation right around our due date not a huge deal we will just have to meet with another doctor in the practice for the first couple of visits i m okay with that the other issue is that this particular practice does not have rights at the hospital where i will deliver so i will have to use a house pediatrician to assess the baby right after birth again not a big deal but something to keep in mind for the future overall i feel good to have crossed that off the master list the nursery is still coming along i bought a closet shelf organizer this weekend to maximize space however we are in a holding pattern until our glider and changing table arrive which should be sometime in the next week then i ll have more pics to share with all of you i think our apartment is the cleanest it has ever been thanks to my nesting those rumors are totally true i woke up yesterday at 630am with an intense urge to clean i swiffered the floors washed the dishes wiped the counters down with lysol wipes cleaned the toilets vacuumed did some laundry we re talking on my hands and knees at some points vacuuming and scrubbing in crevices i never knew existed i was just in the zone and nothing was going to stop me it had to get done at that exact moment or i was going to hurt someone it was that bad my back was terribly sore after working so hard but man does it feel good to sit back and enjoy a clean living space now if i could just stop dh from making a mess of it again i ll be in business next on the ocd to do list pack hospital bag preferably before 36 weeks buy nursing bras tanks and granny panties for hospital bag clean out vehicles as dh uses them as trash recepticles have carseats inspected before 37 weeks and as if two showers weren t enough i am about to have my third and final baby shower this sunday i know i know i m walking funny because i have a horseshoe up my butt the first shower was for work and the second was friends and family however we have a lot of 0ut of state family flying in for a reunion of sorts and they want to have a shower for me while they are in town i can t wait to see everyone as i haven t seen many of them since our wedding it makes me giddy that everyone is so excited over our impending arrival if he only knew how much he was already loved he would certainly decide to stick around right i want nothing more in this world with love from kristen at 11 30 am 10 comments monday june 23 2008 progress pregnancy talk and pictures below 33 weeks 4 days approximately 6 7 weeks to go or to be more exact 45 days until d day when it s broken down that way it seems so close dang last weekend my dear friend holly threw me a surprise baby shower i was expecting lunch with her at this cute little new restaurant but instead i had friends and family waiting there for me to celebrate it was truly one of the happiest times of my life i am so indebted to her for the time and effort she put in to make this day so special for me between the cake the games the lunch it was just too much the shock took days to wear off everyone was so incredibly generous we got tons of loot clothes our son will never be naked wipes a diaper bag our bedding set blankets an exersaucer the list goes on and on if anyone wants to see a slideshow of pictures from the shower click here the nesting instinct that has been lingering for over a month has now officially manifested itself inside me i have an intense desire to clean the house and finish the nursery even if i have several weeks in which to get it all together i ve ordered the changing table dresser combo and the glider both of which should be arriving in early july mainly i wanted an excuse to wash all of his clothes and fold them 197 times and a place to sit and dream about holding my baby we ve painted the wall letters and most of the wall decor just in need of some wall putty to hang them up i ve set up an appointment for a meet n greet with a pediatrician on wednesday night i ve made a list of what i need to pack in my hospital bag and i ve made sure our carseat fit in both of our vehicles amazingly the graco safeseat fit in dh s 2 door civic it took a little maneuvering but we made it work we re making progress the proof is in the pudding and i have evidence that i haven t really been slacking the before the after now with the bedding loads of loot just waiting on baby our stand in with love from kristen at 10 20 pm 25 comments friday june 13 2008 boobs and bottles and bras oh my happy friday the 13th to all my readers p word alert 32 weeks as of yesterday for some reason this mini milestone is a big accomplishment to me i know my little brownie is still a bit gooey inside and needs to continue baking but it somehow makes me feel safe to know that if he absolutely had to arrive at this very moment odds are he would have no long term complications i still find it hard to trust this finicky uterus of mine so i like having a sort of warranty in case she decides to act a fool each day we get closer i feel more at ease much more optimistic this is really going to happen our 32 week appointment was happily uneventful after measuring 2 weeks ahead at my last appointment and scaring me into believing i was growing a football player in my belly he measured right on this time maybe it was his position bp is a steady 100 70 weight is about 33 lbs all is consistent and all is good we had our breastfeeding class on wednesday night let me start by saying that breastfeeding is one of those issues i feel extremely uneasy about maybe even more so than labor and delivery while considered natural by society it seems that many of the moms i know have had terrible experiences or bailed out because it was harder than they thought let s face it when i hear about cracked bleeding nipples it doesn t sound so appealing to me or to anyone for that matter so i feel like i m facing mt everest by deciding to breastfeed while i m not opposed to formula feeding i was a formula fed baby after all and i like to think i turned out just fine i feel like the benefits of breastfeeding are just too good to pass up knowing ahead of time how all consuming it can be and how much pressure there is i am even more determined to make it work call me a stubborn ass but i m going to do everything in my power to do this i think the scary part is that breastfeeding is a partnership between my body and my baby both parties have to work together to be successful so there comes the whole trust thing again how do i know my body will hold up its end of the deal what if the baby just doesn t get the hang of it so many unknowns lack of control stressed out kristen that s my type a revealing its ugly self anyway back to the class i was pretty clueless going in aside from some advice i ve picked up along the way so i felt like i got my money s worth from it the lc was not a bottle nazi which i appreciated i had myself stressed over whether i should choose standard neck or wide neck bottles and she clarified that it doesn t matter which one you use as long as the baby wraps his her lips around the wide portion of the nipple and not just the short elongated portion i received some references as to breastmilk storage for pumping diet safe meds nursing bras etc i also learned 3 holding positions cradle reverse cradle and football that were really helpful we even got to practice on little baby dolls my little boy looked as though he was going to feast on my nipple he had itty bitty teeth but thankfully we avoided a live version of child s play and i made it through the session unscathed for the record i think reverse cradle is my favorite all in all i think we have a plan of course it is flexible it needs to be but it helps me to map out my goals writing it out gives me something to strive for i will exclusively breastfeed for the first 4 weeks i will also be pumping to save up a supply for returning to work if all is going smoothly after 4 weeks dh will introduce a bottle hopefully there will be no nipple confusion at this point from there we will alternate boob and bottle and hope for the best at around 6 months i will introduce solids and start to wean off the boob i may continue to pump until 1 year but my initial goal is 6 months we ll see how it goes all i can do is give it a try and adjust as needed dh and i are also in the process of choosing a pediatrician my ob has given me a deadline of 34 weeks so i don t have much time i think i may have found one but i need to set up a time to interview the doc and make sure that we see eye to eye on things like vaccines i d like to pretty much stay on the recommended schedule but maybe delay the mmr until 18 months or 2 years i haven t fully decided but it would be nice to bounce some ideas off of a professional and see how flexible they are i think there should be a balance between physician recommendation and patient led care especially when it comes to my child on a more fun note we finally put up the crib our spare room is slowly becoming a nursery i walk by and see the empty crib and the feelings of anticipation build up we still have alot to do but i can t wait for it all to come together with love from kristen at 9 09 pm 34 comments monday june 09 2008 guess who is in labor right now as i type no not me silly go show her some love mini vann will be here in no time with love from kristen at 7 20 pm 3 comments older posts home subscribe to posts atom about me kristen maryland united states my name is kristen 26 i married my dear husband rob 30 in june 2006 after suffering 2 miscarriages and over 2 years of ttc we got our elusive sticky bean we welcomed our son nathaniel on july 26 2008 at 38w2d gestation we are so grateful for our little clomid miracle and can t wait to see what the future has in store for us view my complete profile growing more each day talk to me stickybean12 at gmail dot com my mood our if journey jan 04 start dating dh apr 04 leep for abnormal cells on cervix jun 05 engaged on bcp for wacky cycles aug 05 pregnant huh miscarriage 1 at 5w nov 05 af finally returns not trying but not preventing feb 06 actively ttc 1 may 06 begin bbt charting june 06 married july 06 ruptured ovarian cyst jan 07 first re visit s a perfect dx with ovulatory dysfunction mar 07 1st clomid cycle no o thanks to cyst bfn ended with provera may 07 2nd clomid cycle trigger bfp july 07 miscarriage 2 at 11 5w aug 07 hsg all clear tilted uterus bloodwork for aps first comes back abnormal then normal oct 07 3rd clomid cycle trigger bfn nov 07 4th clomid cycle o d before trigger bfp who s your clicker are you new to the infertility journey or new to blogging about it pregnant after your struggle email me at stickybean12 at gmail com so i can put you in touch with others who get it or click below to find out who and what a clicker is remember strangers are just friends waiting to happen the stir...