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Text of the page (random words):
d even one of the caregivers from the baby house there to speak on your behalf they all agreed that they thought we should be a family the judge excused herself after hearing from us all standing in that hallway by myself i was sure i felt the building sway back and forth i was so scared i never felt that scared in my life what if the judge said no what if after all this i had to walk away from you and forget you i knew that was impossible i began praying praying like you do when your life is at stake because that is what it felt like to me soon we were asked to enter the room for the judge s decision she spoke and i tried so hard to listen to my translator but it all sort of sounded like charlie brown s mom speaking until he said she has said yes and has granted your petition to adopt the girl now she is giving her answer on whether she will waive the 10 day waiting period in that moment i wanted to cry and scream at the same time i wanted to jump up and shout yes and punch my arm to sky i wanted to pop open a champagne and celebrate with the whole room but i stood there quietly as she finished she waived the 10 day waiting period and told the baby house to get vera ready as i would be there tomorrow to pick her up court ended and i thanked the judge and everyone else in the room with a smile and handshake i never took the obligatory picture in front of the court house i wish i did when i got back to the hotel i walked to the grocery store i bought myself some champagne cheese and salami and had a little solo celebration in my hotel room the next day came we got to your baby house in record time 2 5 hours it was 5 30 when we arrived i quickly passed out gifts for everyone i changed you out of the baby house clothes which is protocol and they fed one last bottle the caregivers took out there cell phones and took some pictures of their own they oohed and awed over your cute sweater and bow they wished you luck and happiness we walked out and you happily left that life and into your new one with me you cried a bit when we got into the car but you quickly found comfort in my arms you laughed a lot while we waited in the airport for our flight to moscow you cried again on the bus on the way to the plane but many people spoke words to comfort you and that seemed to help several brought you over fruit to share we arrived to a rainy night in moscow the rest of the story well it follows the same line as the story i tell you about how we became a family we saw dr boris we went to the embassy we got your visa and on saturday morning we got on a plane to the usa you were the best travel companion you just snuggled up to me and we cuddled and napped and watched tv on that long flight i was prepared for mourning at your end for lots of tears for rocking and thumb sucking over the next days and weeks but none of that ever came maybe you mourned in silence if you did i am sorry you went thru that you put your trust in my hands when we left that baby house i felt it there slowly your trust turned to love those fractures on your heart have healed love came in and healed the fear sadness and need you healed my heart too you are the bravest person i know you are best daughter strangers tell me all time how polite and kind you are you really are something special everyone who knows you can attest to that so on this three year anniversary of our family i want to let you know that i love you so much at times i think of you and all you have gone thru and how lucky i am to be your mom and i cry i cry because i am happy and i cry because i am sad you went thru that mostly i cry because the love i have for you vera is something that all moms can understand it is pure and hopeful and unwavering i love you goosie love mommy share this share share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email like loading posted in life after the adoption 6 replies getting back to this blog posted on february 6 2013 by singletracey 6 hello there i know i know its been months i have some good reasons and a lot to share so go grab a snack and get comfy ready ok so last i blogged about our life i gave you the 3rd birthday rundown at that time we were still at my moms remember the house had flooded from the busted rubber washer hose well fast forward to december and the house was finally done so what did i have done well the whole house was repainted the kitchen was gutted and remodeled the downstairs bath got new tile and the whole downstairs got new floors the last things to do now are refinish the master bath vanity and vera s vanity and replace the countertops with leftover granite from the kitchen oh and install those pesky laundry doors i am sure i will think of a few other things as time goes on but for now vera and i love everything about the house and are very happy with the change here are a couple of pix before view after view before view after view christmas came and we decided to have my family over christmas eve to show everyone the house it was fun to have everyone here that never happens my sister cooked up a storm and we ate chatted opened gifts and had it was great after everyone left we headed to my sister s house to spend the night christmas morning the kids woke up and that was a blast vera was so excited that santa brought her exactly what she asked for what was that you ask why a pink train and a new blanket of course mommy and vera christmas morning vera with her new blanket from santa new years came and my dear friend julie was turning 40 on nye we normally go to her house and celebrate her bday and ny but this year i just wasn t feeling good i even got dressed drove there and ended up heading back home before i even entered the party so in lieu of a party it was vera my niece ava and myself the girls made it til 11 50 they tried i made it til 12 10 lol the month of january was pretty busy i had two weddings to shoot and an engagement session in between just normal life stuff running here and there dealing with the flu that got me and making time for naps and snuggles on rainy days vera is doing amazing she is talking so much and all the time nonstop she loves to draw and is presently obsessed with all things princess she received a cinderella costume and glass slippers for her 3rd birthday from aunt deb and she would wear those each and every day if she could she has learned to write her name and we are working on neatness and fitting it in the space for her valentine s cards for friends at school we are even having some friends over on the 15th for a valentines party as vera calls it my girl loves a party she is still doing gymnastics she did change gymnastic schools not because the old school was bad or not good enough we changed to a school that is owned by a ukrainian family there are lots of russian families there vera loves it they love vera as well she walks in and tells everyone priviet and when she leaves she says paka paka the moms and grandmothers like to talk to her in russian and vera smiles and nods a yes or no who knows if she knows what they are saying but they seem to be satisfied with her response she no longer is nervous on the little balance beam and will go across no problem she is great on the trampoline and can forward roll all over the place on her own coach anatoliy he isn t her coach yet but he watches her and greets us with a huge smile each week when we get there even told his wife that vera is very good and an amazing listener and i would have to agree two weeks ago we spoke to one of the grandmothers and i shared with her vera was adopted and she asked what part of russia i told her and she quickly responded that she loves that area of russia and vacationed there several times she then proceeded to tell me your daughter she is really russian you must keep her in gymnastics it is in her blood to be here lol vera has been home now 16 months she and i are mother and daughter and have a special bond that is so much stronger than i ever would have imagined when she crawls in my arms for hugs and love or we snuggle to watch a little tv it is in those moments that i realize how lucky i am part of why i was so quiet these past months is the adoption ban really did a number on me it made me so sad yet so grateful that i have my daughter it was all i could do to get thru each day without being overwhelmed at the thought of the children still there waiting for their family a few weeks ago vera was taking a bath and randomly said i sad at baby house i wait for my mommy at baby house and you come back for me i get happy when she said that my heart hurt and broke for all the children and families that will never be i am still praying that those that met their babies will be allowed court so that they can bring their babies home so that is the latest and greatest in a summary overview on us i promise to be more regular i have a list of all things vera coming up have a great day everyone share this share share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email like loading posted in international adoption life after the adoption 6 replies fundraiser for candice nadine and mercyfound ministries posted on november 20 2012 by singletracey reply ok peeps if there are any mommies out there who are looking for holiday cards and want to support a great cause i have something for you i designed a few holiday card templates with matroshka s on them two options here you can purchase a template and i will create the jpg for you using any image you send me i will also adjust the text to read how you would like it then you can take to print on your own or you can purchase a template and i will also print up your cards for you now these are professional cardstock cards i sell these to my clients for 2 50 each and they don t blink an eye as the quality is that good but for you all i will print up the cards at 1 25 each all of the proceeds will go to candice and mercyfound ministries check out the site here and get your cards for a cause now http www etsy com shop heartshope happy thanksgiving share this share share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email like loading posted in international adoption leave a reply hey look its me posted on november 16 2012 by singletracey 1 ok i owe you a blog about the happenings as of late lets see on october 11th i got a call saying there was water pouring out of my house i rushed home and sure enough there was the living area is above my garage and well long story short the washing machine hose busted and water shot out for hours the whole second level was dust so after the cleanup i was left to repair the damage the house was needing a new kitchen anyway so she is getting one along with new paint floors counters etc in the meantime vera and i have been staying at my moms it is hard not being in out own space but luckily for vera and i so long as we have each other we make do the house should be all put back together december 1 that is my target date and i am pushing hard to keep it so besides the flooding vera celebrated a 3rd birthday she continues to blossom at an unbelievable rate she talks so much now i don t know how i was ever worried she is happy to tell you she is three now and loved celebrating her birthday aunt tessie and nana with the birthday girl trike races birthday singing blowing out the candles well nyah s candle since she already blew out her 3 mommy and her princess tomorrow i will be posting a little something for the holidays stay tuned you won t want to miss it and a little video of my brave confident and super strong daughter share this share share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email like loading posted in life after the adoption 1 reply one year home pictures posted on october 3 2012 by singletracey 5 well i had to take some special one year home pictures of my sweet vera she enjoys the camera most of the time though some days she will stop look at me and say no pictures mommy while shaking her hands so in those moments i stop and give her the space she needs i made a pretty big deal over her one year family day i think for me i don t know if it is like this for others the day is so meaningful because that day it all became real for me it was more like her birth day of course we will celebrate her actual birthday in october but this day just means more to me i wasn t there the day she was born in october 2009 anyway we made a pretty big deal of it and vera loved every minute of it she even insisted on candles for her cake leading up to our one year there was a lot of reminiscing and she seemed to express more talk about russia repeating her story of how mommy came to get her which i tell her and adding things like i sad russia babies cry russia she can look at pictures and distinguish those that were in russia and those that were not she doesn t seem to remember the caretakers as she will look at them and ask who that is or maybe she does and there is confusion with referring to them previously as mama and now she has me i don t know nonetheless we enjoyed our day and spent it with family and close friends fall is here though it has been in the high 90 s the past few days and pumpkin patches are open vera is excited to go to the two we pass each day birthday party plans are in the works and i need to get invites out this week better get busy in the meantime here are some pictures i took of vera to celebrate her one year family day share this share share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email like loading posted in life after the adoption 5 replies my sweet verochka posted on september 28 2012 by singletracey 9 dearest vera it is hard to believe that it has been one year since you and i began our forever i remember so clearly the details of that day i remember waking from the little sleep i got knowing that today was the day i got to be your mommy in person and not just in dreams or on paper as the van drove those bumpy 2 5 hours to your orphanage i prayed for you and for the sadness you would be feeling i wondered how the next days weeks and months would be when we pulled up to the entrance i walked to the directors office i went thru the formality of signing you out of mashuk baby house it had been your home since that day in february 2010 it was the only home in your memory and they cared greatly for you for the past 19 months you were 23 months old you spent 19 months there and sadly you had no possessions that broke my heart i walked thru the gardens of the orphanage to your room there you waited with the caregivers working that shift we were late and it was dinnert...