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Text of the page (random words):
morose words floating in the air outside of our nearby meeting when i sarcastically quipped yeah we are up upbeat group she commented that it sounded like we were addressing important topics yes we are somebody needs to right 4 comments posted in uncategorized posted by docgrumbles february 6 2013 say didn t i once write a blog hey i haven t posted in nearly 2 years i must have gotten swamped with raising 2 kids and working full time or something my kids are beautiful and exhausting jag is in pre kindergarten at a french immersion school and banana slug is blooming into a talker after battling hearing blockage from chronic ear infections he loves yo gabba gabba animals and anything with wheels jag loves to watch movies and play dress up she loves princesses wonder woman and the justice league and star wars my job is ridiculous and sometimes fulfilling i got promoted to a tenure track position and now have research assistants which means i can conduct research again speaking of research my latest project involves infertility blogging i am making by undergrad assistants read blogs and take notes then i will analyze those notes and hopefully have something interesting to publish in the future all the talk about if blogs made me return to my own blog i don t guarantee a quick return but this blog is still technically active 9 comments posted in uncategorized tags banana slug blogging job parenting sweet baby jesus anakin grumbles teaching posted by docgrumbles may 5 2011 holy shit i have 2 kids wow i have a son an awesome healthy son who looks like a tiny rounder version of his daddy he came into the world via c section last friday morning as the nurses strained to watch the royal wedding footage on nearby tvs we found out why he refused to turn around and leave the breech position he had company in there no not a twin not even an evil twin a giant fibroid bigger than a fist and completely blocking any attempt of his to turn around the doc says a vaginal delivery would ve been disastrous in this case and she is very grateful we did the surgery about that surgery hated it never wanna do that again i have gotten much better since friday but i still wish we lived in a 1 story house with everything up at torso level percocet is my friend even if it does make me loopy banana slug is adjusting well he was over 8 pounds and hungry right away we are having to supplement already with pediatrician s blessing because my boobs just can t keep up with him he also poos all day long remember how jag did not poop at all until a week after birth not this guy he clearly has a different metabolism than big sis he even lifts his leg sometimes to make his loud and frequent presents more dramatic we opted not to circumcise him and i am sooooo grateful i don t have to worry about wound care while changing his poopy diapers right now jag is excited yet clearly jealous of the new interloper we have tried to ease the situation by presenting her with sporadic gifts that baby brother helped pick out so far he has chosen well and she has thanked him enthusiastically which is adorable she did however steal his specially made blankie and claim it was hers so we still have some work to do in the sibling rivalry domain seriously folks i have 2 kids when and how did this happen to me 34 comments posted in uncategorized tags banana slug birth posted by docgrumbles april 18 2011 not a mother of two just yet my life is so insane at the moment other than my job our neverending construction project of a house and keeping jag from running out into the street on a whim i am about to double my number of children this has been an amazingly uneventful pregnancy i was happily coasting along with no swelling minimal heartburn and headaches and healthy blood pressure iron levels weight gain etc when banana slug decided to present his first real problem the dude is blissfully breech head up and loving it for this one reason alone my perfect pregnancy will end in a c section on april 29 i know people have them all the time and a scheduled procedure is much better than an emergency operation but i really wanted to see if labor would be shorter the second time i wanted to know firsthand if the nurse at jag s delivery was right that all the straining to get her giant head out was really prepping and stretching everything up for the next one plus i am squeamish i don t care how many times i read that the incision will seem surprisingly tiny and recovery go quicker than many women expect i tend to notice the recommendations for a belly band already have one thanks to my overpreparedness so you don t feel like your insides are spilling out i read the vague warnings that breastfeeding may be difficult heck breastfeeding jag was an ordeal i don t want to think about bf ing with an owie on my tummy i also have my granny panties ready ha already wear those and got a stepstool for getting into our mega high bed i have been hoarding diapers and wipes and i am pretty sure i have enough baby socks to let the little guy change into a fresh pair 3 times a day for the first few months you would think i have everything all set but we have no nursery at all for this one our plan was to move jag into the guest room and set her up with a big girl bed then put banana slug in her old nursery well d had other pressing home projects and has not touched either room jag is still in a crib despite her being a very big girl i can barely lift her most days remember i am sporting a full term far in the front bump right now oh and potty training jag by the time i would start changing banana slug s tiny diapies nope she sleeps in big girl undies at night and empties her bladder into the potty very well first thing in the morning but simply can t be bothered to go during the day she does wear pull ups but her day care requires them until she is 100 trained i would do like my neighbor and just put her in undies and let her get wet any time she fails to go to the potty thus giving her incentive to actually go when she feels the urge however i haven t so far had more than 2 days at a time to try this and i predict she needs more time than that to achieve full compliance maybe after i start leave at the end of this week i will use my whole week of pre baby maternity leave and technically i am not even supposed to have that on paper i work until mid may i can focus on intensive potty training with her of course setting her up for extreme regression once baby brother invades her space and perhaps inviting banana slug to kick a hole in the amniotic sac a few days before the scheduled c section yeah that is what you ve been missing now i must convince d to assemble the mother effing co sleeper this week 16 comments posted in uncategorized tags banana slug breech baby c section d the wonder hubby house potty training pregnancy sweet baby jesus anakin grumbles posted by docgrumbles march 1 2011 bumpage although i put it at 31 weeks my ob gyn puts this pregnancy at 32 weeks here is the serious bumpitude i have grown leg swelling is minimal this time knock on wood blood pressure and weight gain look great according to the doc that leaves me to focus on worrying about just how many weeks before the end of the semester banana slug will be born come on little dude take a cue from your big sis and reach your due date she went a few days past hers be competitive 11 comments posted in uncategorized tags banana slug photos pregnancy posted by docgrumbles february 4 2011 ten years with the wonder hubby yesterday was my 10th wedding anniversary people often assume we are recently married just based on jag s age interesting huh but no we have 10 years to get used to each other and luckily not yet grow apart in vastly different directions or anything along those lines marriages don t happen much in my family and when they do they do not last that long my marriage has now outlasted both of my mom s disastrous marriages it still has 2 years to go before beating d s parents marriage and aunt c s second marriage but both of those unions were plagued by substance abuse and or domestic violence they were hardly 12 years of bliss i don t know if we have bliss but we are pretty comfortable secure secure is nice now that we are parents we are both involved parents which certainly has never happened in either of our families before our generation we are dull people to many but i think i kind of like it that way 6 comments posted in uncategorized tags anniversary d the wonder hubby posted by docgrumbles february 4 2011 oh yeah i have a blog and a penis baby on the way one of my favorite topics to toss out at unsuspecting students is freud s notion of the penis baby hopefully you already know much of freud s ideas especially related to child development were very shocking and only persist because they cannot be tested and thus thrown out as bunk freud proposed that girls experience penis envy and resent their mother for letting them be born already castrated boys fear that daddy will castrate them if he figures out that the son wants to get rid of him to have mom all to himself oh it is all so wacky for the uninitiated according to siggy females could only achieve partial resolution of this penis envy by giving birth to a male baby possessing the sought after member cue blog readers and naive psyc 101 students asking wait did she just write say what i think she did i do not see banana slug s little dingle as the key to gaining a sliver of self satisfaction i grew a penis in my womb take that world i am worth something but that little wiener is becoming a source of concern for me in this country little boys are routinely circumcised for no good reason other than well everyone does it so if we don t do it to our son he ll be different some parents opt for the procedure out of religious reasons seeing the act as a symbol of a covenant with god as described in the old testament seeing as d and i are not religious we hardly have that reason to compel us i told d he gets to make the call since he is the only member of this couple who actually owns his own penis but he just said i dunno whatever so i ask you any readers i still have what are your thoughts on circumcision 28 comments posted in uncategorized tags banana slug circumcision d the wonder hubby freud pregnancy teaching posted by docgrumbles january 4 2011 neglectful blog mama hi still here still pregnant dismissed from the perinatologist because everything looks wonderful knock on wood banana slug is still a boy still potty training jag she goes 1 2 times a day successfully no poops on the potty yet but she has come close a few times the poop came within 5 minutes of getting up and saying all done her birthday is coming up and we will have a toy story party she pronounces woody s name boody which might lead to some funny verbalizations at the party for example i bought her some juice boxes with toy story characters on them and she told d daddy i want boody juice mmmm booty juice the family is still bizarre my mom had knee surgery and the doc casually mentioned it helps to lose weight to ease knee for the next procedure crack lady interpreted this to mean she must lose 30 pounds keep in mind she is only 150 to start off dieters can be very boring and annoying obsessive dieters and you know which one she turns into are especially dull to be around my dad asked me if i am 3 months pregnant yet um you re a little behind the times dad just like how he never knew how old i was at a given birthday he will miss jag s birthday party for the second year in a row because he refuses to be in the same room as my mom and aunt grrrrr i am avoiding checking my work e mail and stretching my break out through the process of denial later folks 7 comments posted in uncategorized tags banana slug crack lady aka mom is that homeless guy your dad potty training pregnancy sweet baby jesus anakin grumbles posted by docgrumbles november 29 2010 pee pee on the potty we got jag a plastic froggy potty months ago not really expecting her to start training yet just wanting to have it at the ready when the time came well my little 22 month recently moved up to the 2 years and up classroom at day care because of her killer verbal and motor skills and her tantrums when her barely walking and talking classmates under 18 months couldn t respond back to her excited verbalizations she has been telling me that some of her new classmates go baff room with much interest over the thanksgiving break she started saying mommy i need go poo poo on potty my reaction was oh okay sure let s go she had sat on the potty before but nothing ever happened and she was more interested in flushing the big people potty than sitting on her froggy for 2 days with about 4 attempts each day nothing happened then while paw paw my dad was visiting she announced to him that she was going to poo poo on the potty while no poo poo came she surprised me with a nice stream of pee pee i squeed you re peeing on the potty and starting clapping hysterically d rushed over to see what the commotion was about and he started clapping though a bit more restrained than me jag got so excited she almost kicked over the potty and spilled pee all over the place once we disposed of the very special urination we gave her skittles and she ran out shouting i pee pee on potty paw paw she told her day care teacher this morning too and they said they would start letting her try at school they give stickers when a child uses the potty so i will be very happy if she has any amount of stickers to show me when i pick her up today if not she is still young and i will go at her pace d is all about getting her potty trained before i pop out another diaper vortex maybe we will even enjoy of few months without paying for diapers before banana slug comes along we shall see holy crap i am likely to be a mother of two soon when did that become my life 12 comments posted in uncategorized tags d the wonder hubby is that homeless guy your dad potty training sweet baby jesus anakin grumbles posted by docgrumbles november 16 2010 check out banana slug s banana apparently the male vibes were read correctly yep that is banana slug on his side flashing his package at the perinatologist i really should write more but frankly i am exhausted happily exhausted 18 comments posted in uncategorized tags banana slug photos ultrasound older posts categories uncategorized a trying to get knocked up or otherwise get a critter communique dear reilly definition of insanity honeywine because life s better with sweetness i will be mom password protected life from here musings from the edge life in the catpad lifecanbeashit living a new life with infertility milk in the batter the baby crusade c simply living life coming2terms reflections of a nonsensical nerd total trauma d rearin critters a brief history of you a few good eggs a little sweetness a somewhat ordinary life a very open book baby wait bab...