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Text of the page (random words):
fragile things so i plead the fleeting moment to remain skip to content fragile things so i plead the fleeting moment to remain menu home about her of the years gone by november 1 2021 november 1 2021 elles09 i spent some time thinking about certain things today and though i miss the old times i can t say that i want to go back to them us high school seems so long ago it makes me laugh looking at all the old pictures how young we all looked and then there were 3 and two plus one s so happy for you shi wei and adeline 3 difficult january 21 2019 november 1 2021 elles09 difficult but not impossible i know that in my head but have yet to come to terms with it in my heart call me disillusioned but my rose colored glasses have been well and truly shattered and i m left feeling not just bitter but it is rather difficult to be better the lord is good to those who wait for him to the soul who seeks him lamentations 3 25 declaring till i believe it you are more than enough for me enough beyond my comprehension enough beyond my desires and what i see learning to trust again and again despite disappointments and trying not to say but i still feel inexplicably sad though it is difficult i cry for no reason almost every day is an emotional trial and the worst part i truly don t have a good reason for feeling the way i do i thought i was better but i really am just bitter it is difficult i m not alone but i feel inexplicably lonely it is difficult i have so many things to manage and it s only the 3rd week into the year i didn t even bother to make new year resolutions it sure feels difficult i tell myself not to listen to the noises and to look for your still voice but right now it is difficult every time i think about it i remind myself how i m not good enough how i ve given my best years how often i ve been overlooked how truly unhealthy i am that i ve let myself go too many times i ve run on borrowed confidence i m reminded of many things that i ve swept under the rug there are things that marie kondo can t see and only you know what it sparks i m writing this down because i want to know this feeling acknowledge it and know this hurt and as these words leave my fingers to be put on screen it will no longer have a hold on me i will not dwell in this i will not cry until i have migraines anymore it is difficult yes and you said i am more than an overcomer this is not a but help me oh ellie you ll continue smiling and pretending like nothing happened you ll give appropriate answers because that s what you do to keep the unity protected never say never september 3 2018 september 3 2018 elles09 this content is password protected to view it please enter the password below password places i ve been august 2 2018 october 4 2019 elles09 god has been so good to me i realised that i ve only god and the parentals who never said no to us traveling to thank for the blessings to be able to travel and travel safely i wanted to keep track of how many countries i ve been to so here goes singapore thailand bangkok pattaya ranong phuket rayong chiang mai indonesia batam jakarta bali vietnam ho chi minh philippines manila cagayan de oro davao general santos cebu malapascua cambodia siem reap india chennai guntur china qingdao shanghai hong kong australia melbourne sydney ireland donegal united kingdom london belfast netherlands rotterdam amsterdam south korea seoul japan osaka hokkaido aomori switzerland vaud bern jungfraujoch interlaken lucerne valais france evian les bains myanmar yangon may there be so many more 3 thanks to you how sweet it would be june 19 2018 june 19 2018 elles09 perhaps i ve been hanging around too many married couples these days or i ve just witnessed a bit too many newborns and hearing about many moms who are expecting don t get me wrong i m absolutely thrilled for my friends and family who are celebrating these joys i look forward to their big days and their little bundle of joys whom i will call my buddies but oh how sweet it would be if i could have these joys for myself waiting is hard asking the lord to guard my heart is hard praying that he ll lead me to his best for me is hard i expect many experience this too and i m definitely not alone in experiencing this season of wilderness and struggle maybe i m just tired and feeling a bit tawar hati or having the future is bleak thoughts again am learning to declare that despite these feelings his way is perfect and good and there is no shadow of changing with him i m trying still it would be nice if i could have you the bucket list august 14 2017 august 2 2018 elles09 these are just non exhaustive list of things i would like to do as part of my bucket list one experience and adventure at a time experience visit every disneyland in the world hong kong france tokyo shanghai california florida hawaii travel africa and do the safaris climb mount kinabalu and see the sunrise travel from the south to north of india skydive get a padi diving license pulau redang 2013 get my advance water diving license pulau tioman 2014 be a rescue diver learn how to ski learn how to roller blade ice skate eat a sago worm watch a musical in london phantom of the opera her majesty s theatre 2013 watch a musical in broadway travel around japan during sakura season aomori japan april 2019 watch dashboard confessionals live in concert watch lea salonga live in concert kuala lumpur 2010 watch jason mraz live in concert kuala lumpur 2012 eat ice cream outdoors in snow i would like to see snow for real and throw a snowball at someone or make snow angels jungfraujoch switzerland july 2018 pet sit on an elephant pattaya thailand 2007 island hop in greece santorini would be nice sit in a hot air balloon in cappadocia turkey visit the louvre in paris eat a real watermelon cake from black star pastry sydney october 2017 do a roadtrip on route 101 from los angeles to san francisco usa stand on the top of the empire state building in new york see the aurora borealis northern lights visit israel see the burj khalifa visit auschwitz poland sail out to milfort sound new zealand stand on top of sigiriya sri lanka go on a ridiculously luxurious trip in bora bora islands or a 60 day eastern europe cruise would be nice sit on the eurostar from london to rotterdam september 2016 walk across the carrick a rede rope bridge northern ireland september 2016 learn how to surf seven and more must see wonders of the world the grand canyon usa leaning tower of pisa italy niagara falls canada victoria falls zimbabwe great wall of china china taj mahal india stonehenge england the twelve apostles great ocean road australia dive the great barrier reef australia before its completely destroyed machu picchu peru giants causeway northern ireland september 2016 the roman colosseum italy angkor wat cambodia june 2017 great pyramid of giza egypt anywhere in japan osaka january 2018 the mermaid s dream dive in sipadan stayed on seaventures dive rig in june 2017 dive with manta rays dive with dolphins dive with seals i really really want to see whale sharks dive with thresher sharks malapascua philippines jan 2017 own my own gear june 2017 get an underwater camera growth sing on a random public open mic learn how to play the acoustic guitar write a book a novella counts right nanowrimo 2007 lead worship in church 2014 learn how to make ice cream yolo skinny dipping sing for a musical or advertisement the slow poison of staying put june 21 2017 elles09 there s always a problem with staying put especially when everyone else is moving forward whatever you decide don t stay because you are afraid of change saying goodbye or ending up alone there is nothing more harmful to your heart and soul than sharing them with someone not meant for you beau taplin i want to move forward and i remind myself that in order to do that i need to be ok with being alone god you know what s best i leave it to your trustworthy hands don t push the panic button just yet ellie you re alright resonance august 29 2016 elles09 to be one with whom my heart resonates with people who don t know me prolly won t understand why i make the decisions that i do my family included what goes beyond the rational seems to be too much to ask for no my standards are not too high and no i m not being picky or fussy or hard to deal with yes a person may have a stable job a nice house serves in the house of god and oh he s nice and for most people this is a rare find but for some reason it wasn t enough for me it just didn t resonate there was no spark i would be short changing this person if i were to agree just because everyone else thinks it ll be a great match and i know me i know that when i find that person or if he were to find me something would click what happens then to the one that i had agreed with out of fear of being single for the rest of my life i have faith that god has his best for me it may be this person it may not having faith after all is not in the absence of fear rather in spite of i do not regret my decision i quote my pastor for sharing i d rather be single than to be married to the wrong person i just want someone who resonates with me just one thing he says and does that will resonate my being with conviction and admiration someone i can look up to and have mutual respect for someone i can be the best of friends with i don t think that s too much to ask for generosity june 6 2016 june 8 2016 elles09 i really believe in generosity heck i grew up in a peranakan family which is more community based malay than it is being a calculative chinese totally racist yes but you get my drift so i grew up always having more food than i needed on the table and learning that i should always prepare more than enough food for guests on the table why because pantang to have less than more getting saved and knowing that generosity is a kingdom value wasn t hard to accept at all the struggle is more of teaching others to do the same truly it is something to be caught not taught i thank god i caught this early and having it instilled further as a believer of christ has proven to be more of a blessing to me even though i give to others some things on generosity that i ve learnt practised and am still learning to practice paying for another person s meal simple stuff really but you d be surprised how hard it is sometimes especially when you think the person is less deserving of it but man the effect to fullness in your spirit is far more than the food drink you can consume never letting the offering bag pass me by without giving painful really especially when you didn t break down your money and all that s left is rm50 haha but test him in this says malachi 3 and we ll see the windows of heaven open and we ll receive blessing so much so that we can t contain i think our perception of the windows of heaven needs to change because while i have never experienced cash pouring down from heaven like rain i have never and i m totally serious never experienced starvation lack despite having my bank account registering only rm1 as balance god blesses beyond our imagination and uses people we never thought he would use i m still learning to trust god that he doesn t function the way i expect him to paying for my leaders or peers meal now this is a tricky one because sometimes it ends up paying for an entire table but i ve been challenged to do this so this is not a must and i am learning to practice it whenever i can and because i ve been blessed with the same and am constantly surprised when it happens still i want to do more of it its a nice surprise for them and an irrrepressible joy for me because i generally feel happier when others are happy lah and it reminds us people who can afford to pay our own meals that there is some good in the world it is also honoring i see my mentor rushing to get the bill to pay for our senior pastor and fight it out oh so asian surely i can afford to do the same just a quick thought if we could do it in our friends families business meetings etc why not in the church my own reasoning is this because there is an evident blessing that we see i gain friendship favor and prolly a business deal in tow but please see god s word and meditate on this and my god shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by christ jesus philippians 4 19 my bank account is not limited because he says its not posts navigation previous about her about her tweet tweet tweets by elliechua categories on books on daily observations on dreams on everything else on family on fears on flowers on food on fragrances on job hunts on life on love on memories on monkee times on movies on music on paper on personal stuff on school on travels on wants on work links actstream before wordpress chinspirations i survived subang malaysia today monash university malaysia the acts church wordpress you are the revolution the kawans adeline chong calvin tay unplugged chang sook wai ching siau ying dr vinod laxmikanth enoch lau eunice lim eunice pui goh siqin jane loke joel loi joel vijay justine loh lee choong yang pang su yen philip gan rachel chew yap ben ji archives archives select month november 2021 january 2019 september 2018 august 2018 june 2018 august 2017 june 2017 august 2016 june 2016 may 2016 february 2016 november 2015 march 2015 december 2014 november 2014 october 2014 september 2014 august 2014 july 2014 may 2014 january 2014 december 2013 november 2013 august 2013 july 2013 june 2013 may 2013 march 2013 february 2013 january 2013 december 2012 september 2012 august 2012 july 2012 june 2012 may 2012 april 2012 march 2012 july 2011 february 2011 november 2010 october 2010 september 2010 august 2010 july 2010 june 2010 may 2010 april 2010 march 2010 february 2010 january 2010 december 2009 november 2009 october 2009 september 2009 august 2009 july 2009 june 2009 may 2009 april 2009 march 2009 february 2009 january 2009 december 2008 november 2008 october 2008 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