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Text of the page (random words):
e are well matched the dance that we engage in together works to our mutual gratification i get regularly spanked flogged caned paddled strapped and whipped it is a sexual practice that is likely not for everyone but it takes me places that i cannot get to in any other way i reach heights of humming roaring ecstasy that are beyond my reach without this particular kind of power play i don t prescribe it for others and i never impose it on others i am careful about consent however in a world that assumes that people all engage in a particular sort of normal sexual relating to not acknowledge and honor my own sexual expression is a kind of amputation that i will not tolerate any longer i also live within a polyamorous family there are three of us tom and teresa are legally married to each other i am divorced no longer married but firmly committed and connected to the two of them we love one another ours is a family no different in most ways than any other we own a home together we manage our finances together we eat together cook together handle the household chores together support one another in times of health crises work around one another s schedules just do the things that families do we are not looking for other partners so we are more closed than some poly families and we are all straight so we love one another in the ways that work best between the different ones of us but we do love one another so yeah i am not exactly that catholic school teacher lady with her cats that i projected for all those years i am a bit more alternative than it might have appeared to those who sat in my classrooms back in the day i have no idea how that might land but i am ready to live out here in the world i am completely comfortable with who i have come to be there is no need to ask for anyone s approval i am always happy for the friendship of those who offer it and glad to offer it in return to those who might find it of some value but i will not hide any longer let it be what it truly is sue posted by sue at 3 17 2021 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest 3 14 2021 safe words in adult consensual spanking pain is not harm let s talk about what is entailed in an agreement between adults to participate in a spanking experience with a particular focus on the often misconstrued concept of the safeword a spanking experience is an intentionally inflicted crisis in the form of slaps blows strikes of some sort administered to someon s buttocks resulting in pain we are most of us aware that in history spanking was administered by adults to children as disciplinary punishment less well known spanking was widely used as a means of punishing adults in servitude penal environments etc we have also seen an increasing awareness of adults who engage in consensual spanking experiences in the interest of sensual erotic or psychological gratification it also goes without much in depth thought that a spanking transaction whether as part of a lifelong relationship or a one time encounter requires there must be a partner who administers spanking i e the top partner and a partner who is spanked i e the bottom partner inherent to painfully striking another or to being painfully struck by another is risk of harm or injury all my thought about practicing adult consensual spanking is underpinned by the assumption that spanking partners whether top or bottom are to have their risks of harm minimized while they are engaged in spanking both partners consent to partcipate in spanking relies on this assurance to protect each other s safety so far we have found and agreed that adult consensual spanking is the agreement of two adults that one adult will spank the other that spanking will result in pain experienced by the bottom partner there will be effort to assure that despite this intentionally inflicted and intentionally accepted painful experience both partners will to the degree possible be kept free from harm as a result of this spanking i realize i may seem to be going on and on about obvious points please hang in with me so the bottom partner is going to intentionally submit to pain in the form of spanking when one experiences pain the natural human response is to attempt to end or lessen that pain or to object to that pain people being spanked will frequently reach back to block blows or attempt to move away from the ability of the top to reach them or object demand a halt to the spanking or beg the top to stop spanking them to lessen or end the pain they are in these behaviors are all reflective of the bottom partner s growing degree of crisis experienced as the spanking progresses it is important to recall that both parties to the spanking have agreed to intentionally create this crisis an important protection in terms of spanking partners avoiding harm is the safe word the safe word is a mutually agreed upon signal word for example giraffe that both partners agree will if it is uttered by the bottom during the spanking halt the spanking so the bottom s unsafe situation can be remedied before the spanking resumes if in fact it is even possible for the spanking to resume safely pain resulting from spanking is not harm if one is undergoing spanking and they can t breathe have chest pains their legs or arms go numb they lose vision or hearing or start to lose consciousness it is totally imperative they must use their safe word signal the spanking must halt and whatever is necessary to remedy the situation must be done even if emergency medical services must be called if much more likely the ongoing spanking results in steadily building pain distress this crisis is the exact crisis intentionally and consensually agreed to at its outset it is not unsafe the crisis through which one passes during an adult consensual spanking is the very stimulus that is the pathway to sacred sexuality i have been amazed at the proliferation of popular zen spanking websites on the net that purport to discuss spanking as a means to tantric sex almost all of whom encourage erstwhile spanking partners they don t have to worry any spanking they get will hurt too much because they will have a safeword all they have to do if their spanking becomes uncomfortable is call out red the spanking will halt they even explain that they the bottom partners are always in control of their spankings thus the top partner is simply pretty much non interactant in the process the pain and distress a bottom partner experiences during a spanking is not harm it is precisely the experience both partners agreed to collaboratively create thus defined control that the bottom retains thwarts the very dynamic that sacred sexuality requires it is in passing through the pain the loss of control the vulnerability a spanking entails that releases one to sacred sexual union safe words are vital to protect bottom partners from harm they are not a means to enable bottom partners to prevent their surrendering control during spankings surrender of control i e power exchange is a keystone of sacred sexuality tom the heretic posted by sue at 3 14 2021 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest 3 10 2021 relationships in the bdsm universe i have a lot more time to read these days i retired from my 35 year teaching career three years ago and so now i read whatever i choose i wander from book to book sometimes following a single author through their entire catalog and then getting stuck in a particular genre and then finding a topic that intrigues me and so reading deeply in that realm for a time too a couple of times a year i end up with a stack of books that are intended for my grandson because being the gramma that sends books brings a certain set of responsibilities with it as tom and i have become engaged in deeper conversations about the potential meanings behind our own bdsm practice i found myself looking at some of what has been written about that lifestyle choice and finding the offerings disappointing the fiction seems all of a type and the how to s seem pretty dry and lifeless where i wonder are the discussions of what this all means in terms of relationships why is it all so mechanistic so oriented to win lose so lacking in human feeling and connection is it just me because here s the thing life happens no matter who spanks who no matter how prettily you string each other up no matter how many piercings no matter how much candle wax you pour on your bottom partner when all the slap and tickle is done there is still plenty of good old day to day living to get through when the regular and not so regular living happens it can be really important who is standing next to you kneel before me slave just won t get you through everything it won t outside of the dungeon people die they get seriously ill your kids turn out in ways you never ever expected your job goes all to hell pandemics show up out of nowhere finances get stood on their head some idiot runs into your car the irs comes calling there is shit to clean up sometimes literally addiction happens oh and you keep on getting older and older yeah life that sexy hot as hell dominant who swings a mean whip might be just the ticket when the world comes crashing down maybe or maybe not he or she might also turn to a quivering mess of i don t have a fucking clue what to do some folks who look great in scene are as useless as teats on a boar hog in a crisis so why is there so little conversation in our bdsm circles about how to build good strong stable relationships why do we talk about how to tie 15 different kinds of knots but not how to discover whether a potential partner is of sterling character how does a person considering a d s or m s relationship make that decision with some confidence that their partner is stable secure reliable trustworthy and dependable i want to know more than what your scene cred might be i need to know if you will sit up all night at my bedside in the hospital i want to be sure you will sit vigil with me when my loved one is dying i have to be sure you will go with me to help bail my wayward teen out of jail again i want to know if you have issues with drugs or alcohol or gambling or sex i need to know about your debt picture and your retirement plans and your ex wives husbands and any kids you have stashed in the wings if i am hitching my wagon to yours then i need to know what sort of train this is going to be if that all seems terribly intrusive and your response is that it is all off putting then you probably ought to meander on down the road because i really don t need to get spanked that bad and i really do need to get spanked but if you aren t a real partner for all of it then you aren t a partner and i don t need you move along sue posted by sue at 3 10 2021 2 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest 3 07 2021 consensual spanking archetypal pathway to sacred sexuality i am old yeah it s true i have repeated the daily rituals of life the proverbial practices needed to have life continue called by buddhist monks chop wood carry water so often that now i awaken to face the mirror the same mirror i viewed my reflection in as a boy to see an old man staring back at me my life while at times a repetitive grind of everyday existence has been anything but boring there have been births of my children spectacular loves with women who gifted me with their respect and caring even at times when i could not find my own self respect especially the love of my life mates sue and teresa there have been heroic strivings through drugs philosophies religions literature and psychology appreciation and study to find some way to answer existential questions like why how and even more poignantly perplexing at my stage of life where am i headed throughout the tedium the peaks of joy love sensual satiation victories things that just felt so good there has been pain there is an adage that if you love being part of the ecstasy of childbirth don t enter the birthing room unless you can deal with agony and blood my life with its peaks amidst its mundanity has been at least as frequently punctuated by pain there have been medical crises during which i was in such agony that the maximum of the most potent opioids they dared give me could not begin to give me relief there has been defeat there was the end of a love and family unit divorce which i barely survived my greatest peaks my joys have been tangled and enmeshed inseparably with pain i am not alone in this my earliest memories as a very small child featured sensual experienc that for me translated as a fascination with the experience of spanking giving and receiving as i type that i can imagine readers reacting at this point whaaaaat where does that come from love hurts throughout time throughout human experience it has been clear that there is no love without pain adults must learn to entwine the ecstasy of love with its inextricable companion pain over thousands of years human beings have made consensual spanking a means to not merely increase their erotic arousal and connection but to deepen the depths of their love and to mutually attain share and even give to others the sacred coming to terms with then embracing then delving into becoming proficient in the practice of adult consensual spanking over forty years has been a central theme of my life adult consensual spanking is a potent means to merge the sacred universe within which medium we all float through our existance and present reality consensual spanking is so well documented and so universally practiced that our culture s collective unconscious responds to spanking as an archetype thus it is thus a part of our inherent inborn psychological and spiritual infrastructure it is perhaps a metaphor for this pain pleasure paradox inherent in human made tangible as part of our sexuality by the way when i refer to adult consensual spanking i mean to include practices which have come to be called bdsm i e bondage discipline and sadomasochism dd or domestic discipline tantra sacred sexuality and there may be others i am not aware of over the decades i have identified within the bdsm and dd communities i have witnessed endless attempts by some of those communities to state their community s inherent superiority or rightness over the others all of us are like the blind men and the elephant each is as correct as the perspective of our experience to date has afforded us i don t support any community s attempts for tribal superiority i now choose to identify as a lifelong practitioner of consensual spanking i know that soanking per se is not the sum total of bdsm practice my own practice has incorporated knife play bondage and restraint flogging caning switching both by striking with freshly cut tree branches or exchanging roles as top bottom dom sub disciplinary spanking spanking therapy mentoring novitate explorers 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