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ces get stood on their head some idiot runs into your car the irs comes calling there is shit to clean up sometimes literally addiction happens oh and you keep on getting older and older yeah life that sexy hot as hell dominant who swings a mean whip might be just the ticket when the world comes crashing down maybe or maybe not he or she might also turn to a quivering mess of i don t have a fucking clue what to do some folks who look great in scene are as useless as teats on a boar hog in a crisis so why is there so little conversation in our bdsm circles about how to build good strong stable relationships why do we talk about how to tie 15 different kinds of knots but not how to discover whether a potential partner is of sterling character how does a person considering a d s or m s relationship make that decision with some confidence that their partner is stable secure reliable trustworthy and dependable i want to know more than what your scene cred might be i need to know if you will sit up all night at my bedside in the hospital i want to be sure you will sit vigil with me when my loved one is dying i have to be sure you will go with me to help bail my wayward teen out of jail again i want to know if you have issues with drugs or alcohol or gambling or sex i need to know about your debt picture and your retirement plans and your ex wives husbands and any kids you have stashed in the wings if i am hitching my wagon to yours then i need to know what sort of train this is going to be if that all seems terribly intrusive and your response is that it is all off putting then you probably ought to meander on down the road because i really don t need to get spanked that bad and i really do need to get spanked but if you aren t a real partner for all of it then you aren t a partner and i don t need you move along sue posted by sue at 3 10 2021 2 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest 3 07 2021 consensual spanking archetypal pathway to sacred sexuality i am old yeah it s true i have repeated the daily rituals of life the proverbial practices needed to have life continue called by buddhist monks chop wood carry water so often that now i awaken to face the mirror the same mirror i viewed my reflection in as a boy to see an old man staring back at me my life while at times a repetitive grind of everyday existence has been anything but boring there have been births of my children spectacular loves with women who gifted me with their respect and caring even at times when i could not find my own self respect especially the love of my life mates sue and teresa there have been heroic strivings through drugs philosophies religions literature and psychology appreciation and study to find some way to answer existential questions like why how and even more poignantly perplexing at my stage of life where am i headed throughout the tedium the peaks of joy love sensual satiation victories things that just felt so good there has been pain there is an adage that if you love being part of the ecstasy of childbirth don t enter the birthing room unless you can deal with agony and blood my life with its peaks amidst its mundanity has been at least as frequently punctuated by pain there have been medical crises during which i was in such agony that the maximum of the most potent opioids they dared give me could not begin to give me relief there has been defeat there was the end of a love and family unit divorce which i barely survived my greatest peaks my joys have been tangled and enmeshed inseparably with pain i am not alone in this my earliest memories as a very small child featured sensual experienc that for me translated as a fascination with the experience of spanking giving and receiving as i type that i can imagine readers reacting at this point whaaaaat where does that come from love hurts throughout time throughout human experience it has been clear that there is no love without pain adults must learn to entwine the ecstasy of love with its inextricable companion pain over thousands of years human beings have made consensual spanking a means to not merely increase their erotic arousal and connection but to deepen the depths of their love and to mutually attain share and even give to others the sacred coming to terms with then embracing then delving into becoming proficient in the practice of adult consensual spanking over forty years has been a central theme of my life adult consensual spanking is a potent means to merge the sacred universe within which medium we all float through our existance and present reality consensual spanking is so well documented and so universally practiced that our culture s collective unconscious responds to spanking as an archetype thus it is thus a part of our inherent inborn psychological and spiritual infrastructure it is perhaps a metaphor for this pain pleasure paradox inherent in human made tangible as part of our sexuality by the way when i refer to adult consensual spanking i mean to include practices which have come to be called bdsm i e bondage discipline and sadomasochism dd or domestic discipline tantra sacred sexuality and there may be others i am not aware of over the decades i have identified within the bdsm and dd communities i have witnessed endless attempts by some of those communities to state their community s inherent superiority or rightness over the others all of us are like the blind men and the elephant each is as correct as the perspective of our experience to date has afforded us i don t support any community s attempts for tribal superiority i now choose to identify as a lifelong practitioner of consensual spanking i know that soanking per se is not the sum total of bdsm practice my own practice has incorporated knife play bondage and restraint flogging caning switching both by striking with freshly cut tree branches or exchanging roles as top bottom dom sub disciplinary spanking spanking therapy mentoring novitate explorers and practitioners recreational spanking birthday spanking initiation spanking spanking sporting event wagers competitve spanking weight control disciplinary spanking smoking cessation spanking and i am sure others i m forgetting i ve played with and in front of others many times and had the opportunity to witness and learn from others i ve attended seminars on piss play slapping kicking breath play shibari bondage suspension creating mind fucks and other things that so far i have no intention or aspiration to include in my life however central to the practices of each of these communities is adult consensual spanking i ve been through three days of foundation for shamanic studies education along with teresa and sue purportedly i am certified to perform shamanic soul retrieval i have undergone my own soul retrieval with a shaman i respect i am graduate degreed as a counseling psychologist these experiences lead me to feel some degree of awareness of sacredness and its role in our adult lives through all of this there is one central theme adult consensual spanking a portal to the sacred if practiced well enough long enough and with others you love i am grateful it is part of my our life i believe it can add joy and ultimately sacredness to others if they choose to embrace it to enrich their lives tom the heretic posted by sue at 3 07 2021 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest 3 04 2021 thoughts from the bottom perhaps it is time to pick back up here ten years have passed we have aged life has settled and we have grown some of course we have changed evolved learned some things both as individuals and together we are not as we once were but we are still we our conversation lately has turned to spiritual sexuality and how our own bdsm practice intersects with that world tom being who he is seems very intent on doing lots of research seeking out the experts who have all sort of things to say on the subject he finds all of that affirming and it seems to really fire him up so good i find that for myself my days of chasing spiritual experts are behind me my tendency to spiritual backpacking leads me to look with jaundiced eyes on the teachings of gurus i grew up catholic studied with a lakota sioux teacher and spent many years with quakers these days i find that what works best for me is to get my head to quiet down and find my way to a quiet space inside myself it is there that i find what i experience as the great mystery that for me is one of the real magical part of our bdsm practice it can when we hit it just right take me into that place so i am a masochist and claim the part of submissive bottom partner partner is important to this whole narrative tom and i do this thing together i have come over all these years to see it as an intricate sort of dance we don t do exactly the same dance but we do dance together he is doing a good bit of writing about his view of all of this from my perspective he is the dominant force he is the one who inflicts pain in session i sometimes picture him as the count from sesame street because i can often hear him back there behind me counting under his breath for my part i do not count strokes i do generally practice an eight count there are two reasons for that the first is that it reminds me to breathe and breathing is really important so in one two out three four in five six out seven eight the other reason for the eight count is that it prevents me from counting strokes i really really don t want to know i don t want to know how many there have been and i for sure don t want to know how many there might still be or how many i think there should still be that way lies fear panic and probably at some point rage what i have discovered walking this path over all these years is that i need to go into a session without expectations without a whole lot of mental chatter yes i can hear those of you who know me well with as little fear as is possible with a sense of openness and willingness and then it hurts the beginning of nearly every single spanking hurts like the very devil nevermind what the spanking porn videos with all those picture perfect models with their makeup that never runs might suggest i find that i fight and struggle and frequently rage through the start of most spankings it isn t fun or sexy or hot it doesn t turn me on it just fucking hurts and i hate it and i most often hate him in a modern era bdsm ethic that says that the bottom partner ought to maintain absolute control that there ought to always be an inviolate safeword in place that has the effect of stopping the action i would never ever get past the first few minutes of a spanking because well duh now before anybody loses their shit i am never unsafe in a session i am absolutely required to tell him if i am in some sense in danger so if i am experiencing chest pains or shortness of breath or unexplained loss of vision i would be expected to make that clear to him he would stop the session and tend to my needs if necessary i would receive appropriate medical care the point of our bdsm play is that he chooses to hurt me he does not ever want me harmed with that said i do not have the capacity to stop our play because it hurts the hurting is the point of the whole thing for us both stopping the action because it hurts is utterly off limits for me further if i were to do that i would miss out on the possibility that exists beyond that beginning place where it just hurts it is in the territory beyond that place of just hurting where the magic and the mystery lies now as always my way is mine it isn t for everyone i don t presume to prescribe i have however found that if i can tough it out and hang on through that initial difficult place if he does not stop when i am fussing and whining and raging then i may possibly break through to something else i may if it all works just right reach the top of the first big hill on the world s tallest roller coaster and drop over the edge in a breath taking rush when it happens i ll swoop down along a deep violet tunnel following some presence that i can sense knowing that i am safely guided the noise will quiet down and turn to colors purples and blues the pain will fade into the background and i will float along following my guide i can still respond to him if he speaks to me but i no longer worry about the intensity of the sensations he is eliciting that is his realm not mine time slows down sometimes i see things or learn things or hear things sometimes i fly away i always have the impression that the experience is something that he allows occasionally i will hear myself roaring like an animal my power unleashed i know he sees it all he refers to it as my getting off i understand that it sets him free liberates his sadistic urges and allows him to go to a higher level of play than he might otherwise because he knows that my tolerance is much higher in that state when he calls me back i tend to come to rather slowly as if from some sort of trance i tend to feel a bit stupid for a time i imagine most of that is the effect of the endorphin rush so spiritual perhaps i tend to not put too much stock in such descriptors but make of it what you will sue posted by sue at 3 04 2021 3 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest 2 23 2021 having said hello after a ten year posting hiatus i will discuss why i might write here again anyone who has spent even a modest effort to read about adults who choose whatever their motivation to agree to spank each other finds a wealth of internet content dedicated to this topic these discussions may be primarily prurient or research based or fictional or pictorial or even humorous in their focus whether you are new to this topic are quite experienced are interested in learning about it as an academic interest are struggling to understand the role a persistent nagging interest in spanking has in your sensual erotic orientation or are just a poor hapless internet pilgrim who has found your way here through serendipity or mishap you may find reading here enlightening or a giant bore if the latter is the case run for your life leave here and seek a more compatible source of stimulation if on the other hand you are inquisitive or perhaps you identify with such labels as dominant or submissive switch slave or head of household or sadist or masochist or taken in hand or top bottom spanker or spankee spanking fetishist therapist spanking devotee disciplinarian or are simply sensually or erotically adventurous you might find something here worth your time and interest i hope to explore and discuss the ways many adults incorporate adult consensual spanking into their lives for many of us spanking becomes a primary source of connection stimulation excitement drama intimacy and fun whether any or all of these motivations lead you to agree to partner with others around spanking or this topic ...
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