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Text of the page (random words):
re email scenario that i sent to kick ass to cheer her but i kind of enjoyed it i basically know sack s arrival time and where she parks in work garage i drive to work and do some recon i lay low far enough away so she doesn t see me or car i learn her exact car and routine she arrives between 9 30 and 9 45 every day her car and arrival times become ingrained in my memory and i proceed home to perfect my plan which will take a few days i will return a week later big garage and busy in a rental car wearing a very believable disguise hair shape and color will be altered i will have a prosthetic nose and will have learned techniques to look 20 years older and i will lay in wait she ll arrive late as always and i ll give it 11 minutes while she races upstairs to log in i ll work fast to be certain she didn t forget anything in her car first checking for her security badge i know she s desperate to log in because she fears she ll be discovered as the sack she is i ll get out of my rental car in which i ve removed the plate prior to arrival and calmly walk to her car after glancing to make sure no one around i ll pull out my long knife and quietly insert it once like butter into each tire until all four are done i ll go back to car and calmly leave the scene yes dear readers of course i ll wear gloves she ll come out promptly at 6 00 after feigning work all day as she has done for 13 years and knows it and proceed to shit in her pants i ll crawl into bed that night and between uncontrollable giggles fall into the best slumber in years and have beautiful dreams i ll have to tell k a after deed is done wait i won t because i want her to have no knowledge if she mentions it during one of our delightful lunches i ll simply reply karma baby and smile on the inside don t think me awful readers the above scenario is a coping mechanism i looked for the slightest glimmer of good in sack for 5 years i swallowed many an urge to knock her flat never saw a hint of good back to the first part of this blog please plan a vacation of some sort remember to see the beauty in the world wherever that is for you i appreciate you ld 32 181432 80 718819 tags blog corporate coworkers fiction humor life living dilbert rant work writing comments 4 comments categories anger blog burnout business comedy corporate humor corporate life humor legal field life power struggle uncategorized there is a serious crack in my foundation 24 jul and i don t like it one fucking bit i m feeling something i almost can t even talk about it s so awful i literally found myself completely at a loss for what the hell to do i m a fucking little innocent baby deer in headlights what i asked myself since i m the only one here in the sam hell is going on what s wrong with me the synapses in my brain due to fight or flight primal reaction are firing and it hits me like a mack truck a mack truck straight out of mad max people i m feeling accckkk vulnerable really vulnerable living dilbert is rarely vulnerable and sure as hell doesn t discuss it except with life saving therapist who helped me figure this out again yet here i am filled with angst i fight deep feelings more often than i care to admit good news i guess is that apparently i am actually human and not always the superhero i project first main squeeze is out of town for 8 days and being home alone all day and night is new we haven t been apart that long but god knows ms needed a break and so deserves this vacation today my sandal got caught on a rug while i was watering some plants and i almost seriously busted my ass based on my knowledge of geometry and physics it would have been really bad i most likely would have broken several ribs and i doubt my still healing neck would have had a party either it was so damn close but i managed to save my ass fine it shook me up there i said it again please keep reading ok the real reason for this unsettling crack in my foundation i got some rather unsettling news the other day that dropped my jaw to the floor because i let myself get all comfortable with life and it s been a few months since i ve had a bone jarring crisis i need another spinal surgery my 4th if anyone other than me is keeping count and my 3rd in a year i went through the five alleged stages of grief in 24 hours i cried all the way home which kind of sucked because i was by myself and driving i bargained with god i denied it then i was furious and the next day came acceptance i even wondered if god is testing me but then thought that was selfish of me in plain english it is what it is it is life which can be so messy yet wonderful too my surgeon apologized and said she really does not want to operate on me again and told me it ll hurt like last time at least she s honest and she s compassionate and i do love and trust her she s a damn rock star to me yet so humble a rare combination in a surgeon i ll admit the last one posterior cervical disc fusion hurt like a mother fucker i cried i nearly puked gritting my teeth and the morphine pump didn t cut it i had to really work to get through the days without losing my shit figuratively not literally living dilbert does not poo in hospitals i ve learned that when they dissect through really important muscles it really hurts to relearn to do stuff like uh use your arms i guess they ll take part of my right pelvis out this time since they used left last time my back neck are starting to look like a 3 year old on an etch a sketch frankly i m weary i am just healing from the last two and i ll have to start all over and it s scary there i m having feelings i lost my career life is very different now but great in some new ways like making a special new friend in all this stuff i never imagined i know there are others out there too talk to me tell me your story i m actually considering a group therapy thing but for this i think i d need to start it myself because there isn t a scoliosis survivors group i ll have to come up with a better name than that i wonder if they d mind if i said mother fucker a lot so there it is a touchy feely yet painfully honest post from me to you i just had to get it out but damn if i didn t fight this realization like an animal caught in a trap kicking and screaming but the more you fight it the worse the pain lst has worked hard to teach me my feelings won t kill me and she is right but sometimes it feels they will thanks for reading this one it s a bit long i don t want to lose more readers i want to awe and delight but be honest too i do feel i m being led in a direction i don t quite understand yet and i don t like not knowing all this is causing a shift in me i can feel it i think with great loss comes the opportunity for great growth so even though i seem to get shorter with each damn surgery i ll grow on the inside love ld 33 799120 84 266867 tags blog feelings grief humor illness life mental health pain surgery comments 8 comments categories uncategorized living dilbert has a crush 22 jul since i m back in the fold and have lots of blog post ideas jotted down all over it feels damn good to be writing again i have this whole new life i m living and just starting to get i ve gone from working 12 hour days under unimaginable stress due to working for 4 attorneys at a high end firm then to a team environment that i knew would ultimately fail but was told to zip it in which i was working for 9 attorneys at a time attorneys are not dumb one of the things i actually love about them and they quickly realized there were only two of us that actually genuinely gave a shit about our work and continued doing the best job we could for a year it was like working in a pressure cooker and you never knew how bad it d be there was many a day with lunch if any at my desk and i wouldn t even pee until 5 i literally did not have time to even think i was a machine and a damn good one too well we know my neck finally broke down i m a believer that if you are constantly under unbelievable stress your body will find some way to let it out whether you like it or not and i wound up with four bulging discs in my neck resulting in quite a lot of pain and nearly losing the use of my left arm ok sorry you get it so i ve now moved to being thrilled to now be on what i like to call a sabbatical while i heal from not one but two spinal neck surgeries 8 weeks apart we all know i m a bad ass but they kicked my ass what am i even blathering about oh yes some background of where i am now i m at home these days away from that life and my one job is to heal i ve never had a job like that i feel a bit lost and thrilled at the same time i m finally moving to the more thrilled part i can actually do other things like get back to my blog and read other blogs and make new friends i still have some great supporters and friends from my early days shouts from the abyss thank you for your support and i adore you brea s air and notes from a rumbly cottage same to you and i promise to talk about you all i must say though i ve made an amazing new friend in this one chick yay more gray she s funny and has heart i m so glad we ve met and this is my public shout out to her she likes me i feel the same and she s a really cool person that i genuinely like i was not expecting to make a new friend much less one that may be my twin that my mom never told me about so as she calls it for woman crush wednesday i bow to you yay check out her blog https yaymoregray wordpress com sometimes out of some really bad shit or if i was more buddhist i d say even from the deepest mud the lotus still finds the strength to bloom or something close to that just as life can turn on a dime to something really hard it can turn on a dime to something really good too who knew i m learning a lot living this special life i m very lucky i m learning to breathe and actually take care of myself rather than pandering to the whims of several asswipes at once who are often very unappreciative critical people whew how d i do it all those years well again at the end of day i kick ass and have a strong work ethic as many of you do and you must give yourself credit i ll help teach you some tricks to help i still have oodles of doozies to tell regarding corporate life crazy don t you worry there are a lot of asshat stories that i hope will make you laugh and yet will be familiar in your own life and you just have to laugh rather than jab windpipes or kick balls but you can pretend next 5 signs you know a boss will get canned and you re not a least bit sad about it peace out do something for you today get that nice coffeemaker have a chocolate breathe in deeply and breathe out the bad picture the people that love you ld 33 799213 84 266720 comments 3 comments categories uncategorized short shorts how to buy a pc 20 jul this is a typical bad boss story a k a they make you do a bunch of stuff for nothing and then don t listen to you some how it ll end up being my friend shout s fault if it causes problems at least that s been my experience dick shouts from the abyss the boss asks for your opinion i need a recommendation for a new computer you ask a few questions price range purpose anything special it needs to do you take the task seriously you conduct research you think outside of the box you are creative and expend energy you want to do a good job this isn t your specialty but you try your best after finding what you think is a pretty good answer you pass it on the next day that boss says my spouse told me to buy something else something totally different than what you recommended i m going with that in a few days the computer shows up it s neither it turns out the boss went for a third option the very thing you cautioned against way back at the beginning the boss now has a stupid piece of shit but it was worth it to put view original post 19 more words comments 1 comment categories uncategorized change bugs me 8 jul its finally sinking in that i ve really experienced a lot of change in my life in the last few months i don t like change it actually usually results in me becoming a raving bitch the biggest change lately for anyone that has kept up is my new neck resulting from not 1 but 2 fusions in a 9 week period guess what my body didn t like it either so i now have 17 discs in my spine fused and i can still kick ass but in new ways let s just say i m on sabbatical from my delightful life as a big firm legal secretary big change what the fuck do i do well my job now is mainly to keep healing huh i ve put others before myself for uh since age 4 i m learning to let go of control of everything it s a daily battle i couldn t drive for 5 months so i feel i m just getting my wings listen people don t take shit like driving and your everyday independence for granted if i had to paint a picture it d be me as a butterfly but i m still just about three fourths out of my cocoon i met a friend for coffee yesterday and ran 2 errands blasting my music in the car and i must say i thought holy shit this is cool i m out and about and listening to music on a beautiful day at 10 30 in the morning i ve never experienced such freedom being free in the day a big change at first i felt lost but i m coming around ok other changes that throw living dilbert into a tizz main squeeze doing any type of furniture moving or even bringing it up at all a show i love ends a restaurant or shop i love closes the trend in atlanta currently to mow everything familiar down and build a mixed use development stop it law firm i love being acquired and turned into a whole new something corporate when friends move away rosie perez s bittersweet goodbye on the view stop it the view and if life saving therapist ever tells me she s retiring so it s a whole new world out there did you know that life has really changed from 5 years ago and in a way i never expected or planned remember life can and will sometimes change on a dime put on your damn seatbelt care to join me on my new adventures i ll still have my rants that i hope you can not only identify with but get a good chuckle as well i still promise snark yet sometimes a glimpse of heart felt feelings like today i m not totally made of ice ok now a nap who am i i guess we ll find out together please let me introduce you to my new neck ain t it swell 33 799220 84 266714 tags blog change corporate life healing humor law firms lawyers life surgery comments 13 comments categories uncategorized growth 18 jun hi all please don t worry and forgive me for reblogging the last two posts but this one is so good i thought about writing on the same subject undiagnosed chronic pain and i m sure i eventually will in my own living dilbert way however this one really made some incredible analogies that i could not leave unworshipped and part of our blog community is sharing other voices living dilbert gives this 4 stars i laughed too because i ve started taking care of all the plants in the house and i even talk to them honestly i m looki...
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