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Text of the page (random words):
t my still healing neck would have had a party either it was so damn close but i managed to save my ass fine it shook me up there i said it again please keep reading ok the real reason for this unsettling crack in my foundation i got some rather unsettling news the other day that dropped my jaw to the floor because i let myself get all comfortable with life and it s been a few months since i ve had a bone jarring crisis i need another spinal surgery my 4th if anyone other than me is keeping count and my 3rd in a year i went through the five alleged stages of grief in 24 hours i cried all the way home which kind of sucked because i was by myself and driving i bargained with god i denied it then i was furious and the next day came acceptance i even wondered if god is testing me but then thought that was selfish of me in plain english it is what it is it is life which can be so messy yet wonderful too my surgeon apologized and said she really does not want to operate on me again and told me it ll hurt like last time at least she s honest and she s compassionate and i do love and trust her she s a damn rock star to me yet so humble a rare combination in a surgeon i ll admit the last one posterior cervical disc fusion hurt like a mother fucker i cried i nearly puked gritting my teeth and the morphine pump didn t cut it i had to really work to get through the days without losing my shit figuratively not literally living dilbert does not poo in hospitals i ve learned that when they dissect through really important muscles it really hurts to relearn to do stuff like uh use your arms i guess they ll take part of my right pelvis out this time since they used left last time my back neck are starting to look like a 3 year old on an etch a sketch frankly i m weary i am just healing from the last two and i ll have to start all over and it s scary there i m having feelings i lost my career life is very different now but great in some new ways like making a special new friend in all this stuff i never imagined i know there are others out there too talk to me tell me your story i m actually considering a group therapy thing but for this i think i d need to start it myself because there isn t a scoliosis survivors group i ll have to come up with a better name than that i wonder if they d mind if i said mother fucker a lot so there it is a touchy feely yet painfully honest post from me to you i just had to get it out but damn if i didn t fight this realization like an animal caught in a trap kicking and screaming but the more you fight it the worse the pain lst has worked hard to teach me my feelings won t kill me and she is right but sometimes it feels they will thanks for reading this one it s a bit long i don t want to lose more readers i want to awe and delight but be honest too i do feel i m being led in a direction i don t quite understand yet and i don t like not knowing all this is causing a shift in me i can feel it i think with great loss comes the opportunity for great growth so even though i seem to get shorter with each damn surgery i ll grow on the inside love ld 33 799120 84 266867 tags blog feelings grief humor illness life mental health pain surgery comments 8 comments categories uncategorized living dilbert has a crush 22 jul since i m back in the fold and have lots of blog post ideas jotted down all over it feels damn good to be writing again i have this whole new life i m living and just starting to get i ve gone from working 12 hour days under unimaginable stress due to working for 4 attorneys at a high end firm then to a team environment that i knew would ultimately fail but was told to zip it in which i was working for 9 attorneys at a time attorneys are not dumb one of the things i actually love about them and they quickly realized there were only two of us that actually genuinely gave a shit about our work and continued doing the best job we could for a year it was like working in a pressure cooker and you never knew how bad it d be there was many a day with lunch if any at my desk and i wouldn t even pee until 5 i literally did not have time to even think i was a machine and a damn good one too well we know my neck finally broke down i m a believer that if you are constantly under unbelievable stress your body will find some way to let it out whether you like it or not and i wound up with four bulging discs in my neck resulting in quite a lot of pain and nearly losing the use of my left arm ok sorry you get it so i ve now moved to being thrilled to now be on what i like to call a sabbatical while i heal from not one but two spinal neck surgeries 8 weeks apart we all know i m a bad ass but they kicked my ass what am i even blathering about oh yes some background of where i am now i m at home these days away from that life and my one job is to heal i ve never had a job like that i feel a bit lost and thrilled at the same time i m finally moving to the more thrilled part i can actually do other things like get back to my blog and read other blogs and make new friends i still have some great supporters and friends from my early days shouts from the abyss thank you for your support and i adore you brea s air and notes from a rumbly cottage same to you and i promise to talk about you all i must say though i ve made an amazing new friend in this one chick yay more gray she s funny and has heart i m so glad we ve met and this is my public shout out to her she likes me i feel the same and she s a really cool person that i genuinely like i was not expecting to make a new friend much less one that may be my twin that my mom never told me about so as she calls it for woman crush wednesday i bow to you yay check out her blog https yaymoregray wordpress com sometimes out of some really bad shit or if i was more buddhist i d say even from the deepest mud the lotus still finds the strength to bloom or something close to that just as life can turn on a dime to something really hard it can turn on a dime to something really good too who knew i m learning a lot living this special life i m very lucky i m learning to breathe and actually take care of myself rather than pandering to the whims of several asswipes at once who are often very unappreciative critical people whew how d i do it all those years well again at the end of day i kick ass and have a strong work ethic as many of you do and you must give yourself credit i ll help teach you some tricks to help i still have oodles of doozies to tell regarding corporate life crazy don t you worry there are a lot of asshat stories that i hope will make you laugh and yet will be familiar in your own life and you just have to laugh rather than jab windpipes or kick balls but you can pretend next 5 signs you know a boss will get canned and you re not a least bit sad about it peace out do something for you today get that nice coffeemaker have a chocolate breathe in deeply and breathe out the bad picture the people that love you ld 33 799213 84 266720 comments 3 comments categories uncategorized short shorts how to buy a pc 20 jul this is a typical bad boss story a k a they make you do a bunch of stuff for nothing and then don t listen to you some how it ll end up being my friend shout s fault if it causes problems at least that s been my experience dick shouts from the abyss the boss asks for your opinion i need a recommendation for a new computer you ask a few questions price range purpose anything special it needs to do you take the task seriously you conduct research you think outside of the box you are creative and expend energy you want to do a good job this isn t your specialty but you try your best after finding what you think is a pretty good answer you pass it on the next day that boss says my spouse told me to buy something else something totally different than what you recommended i m going with that in a few days the computer shows up it s neither it turns out the boss went for a third option the very thing you cautioned against way back at the beginning the boss now has a stupid piece of shit but it was worth it to put view original post 19 more words comments 1 comment categories uncategorized change bugs me 8 jul its finally sinking in that i ve really experienced a lot of change in my life in the last few months i don t like change it actually usually results in me becoming a raving bitch the biggest change lately for anyone that has kept up is my new neck resulting from not 1 but 2 fusions in a 9 week period guess what my body didn t like it either so i now have 17 discs in my spine fused and i can still kick ass but in new ways let s just say i m on sabbatical from my delightful life as a big firm legal secretary big change what the fuck do i do well my job now is mainly to keep healing huh i ve put others before myself for uh since age 4 i m learning to let go of control of everything it s a daily battle i couldn t drive for 5 months so i feel i m just getting my wings listen people don t take shit like driving and your everyday independence for granted if i had to paint a picture it d be me as a butterfly but i m still just about three fourths out of my cocoon i met a friend for coffee yesterday and ran 2 errands blasting my music in the car and i must say i thought holy shit this is cool i m out and about and listening to music on a beautiful day at 10 30 in the morning i ve never experienced such freedom being free in the day a big change at first i felt lost but i m coming around ok other changes that throw living dilbert into a tizz main squeeze doing any type of furniture moving or even bringing it up at all a show i love ends a restaurant or shop i love closes the trend in atlanta currently to mow everything familiar down and build a mixed use development stop it law firm i love being acquired and turned into a whole new something corporate when friends move away rosie perez s bittersweet goodbye on the view stop it the view and if life saving therapist ever tells me she s retiring so it s a whole new world out there did you know that life has really changed from 5 years ago and in a way i never expected or planned remember life can and will sometimes change on a dime put on your damn seatbelt care to join me on my new adventures i ll still have my rants that i hope you can not only identify with but get a good chuckle as well i still promise snark yet sometimes a glimpse of heart felt feelings like today i m not totally made of ice ok now a nap who am i i guess we ll find out together please let me introduce you to my new neck ain t it swell 33 799220 84 266714 tags blog change corporate life healing humor law firms lawyers life surgery comments 13 comments categories uncategorized growth 18 jun hi all please don t worry and forgive me for reblogging the last two posts but this one is so good i thought about writing on the same subject undiagnosed chronic pain and i m sure i eventually will in my own living dilbert way however this one really made some incredible analogies that i could not leave unworshipped and part of our blog community is sharing other voices living dilbert gives this 4 stars i laughed too because i ve started taking care of all the plants in the house and i even talk to them honestly i m looking for my own place in the sun karma maybe indisposed and undiagnosed if you are stuck at home like i am most days and are struggling to find something productive to do that doesn t require a lot of energy grow a plant you can start from scratch or you can purchase a baby bulb that has just begun its growth cycle two years ago on my twentyfirst birthday a girl i was studying with bought me a pony tail palm tree when i first got him he was very small and only had three leaves poking from his root i neglected him i kept him in my bedroom away from sunlight and rarely watered him he began to shrivel and two years later he was merely a tiny squishy root barely emerged from the dirt during my bedridden state of illness i noticed the lack of plant on my desk and asked my dad if he would help me move the view original post 223 more words comments leave a comment categories uncategorized future me is an idiot and i m an asshole 5 jun this chick has skillz a true gift of words with animation the part about future me running a marathon is so living dilbert of course my aspirations are more like i really need to clean off my dresser anyway please enjoy she doesn t cuss as much and you probably needed a break love ld comments 3 comments categories uncategorized living dilbert owns herself 3 jun the new me damn right i m going to use it with pride too i m tired of being so nice or too nice no eye rolls from you main squeeze i was most guilty of this at work when i wasn t sending kick ass coworker private texts about how effed up our new system of management born 1 1 14 was not working i called it the new regime and basically the new regime sucked ass as a successful business model however any big firm has to copy what the biggest firm in town does fricking lemmings that they are they all do it eventually but guess what you can t cram square pegs into round holes no matter how hard you insist the new regime in most big law firms is the team approach regarding secretaries which basically all big firms going back to the good ole secretarial pool it won t last these brilliant ideas are cyclical they try they fail they do something else 10 years later they come up with the same idea rinse and repeat firms say they are doing it for improved client service which is simply business speak for saving money at the expense of client service which makes it all a hypocritical clusterfuck here s what happened in our case and in all of them i suspect the hard workers get all the work on the team and the parasitic beings such as twatwaffle see new members in cast of characters thank you brea simply ride the wave and say every fucking time they are too busy to help but yet they are the first to ask this theory was proven again and again on a daily basis i was once asked by hr how things were going and to please give them honest without repercussion feedback i thought what the fuck do i have to lose i m already planning twatwaffle s doom i was painfully and professionally honest i m damn good at what i do and i have something rare in a team environment it s called a fucking conscience people heard of it apparently in our team of 4 only 2 of us had ever considered the concept i ve only met about 8 in my entire legal career that really have it to their core one of the many things i love about kick ass attorneys at big firms are not stupid about getting their work done because work money so they brought us all their shit to do with their own secretaries at their desks clipping their nails sitting on their asses we waited for months in vain for hr to kick some ass that day never came and that s when i began to lose hope why are law firms so afraid to cut loose of dead ass weight b...