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okies which i loved as a kid because they had those holes in the middle and you could poke your pinky through and get a nice little dot of fudge to lick off before you even started in on the cookie which you could wear on your pinky for a few minutes before taking a bite they stopped making those in 1978 when burry s went out of business by then i hardly noticed because i was a chronically dieting teenager and fudgetowns had been off my radar since i was about 12 but one day recently i looked up and said whatever happened to fudgetowns and found out the whole story evidently though dare cookies based in kitchener ontario makes a cookie that looks exactly like them and they are now available in the u s i haven t tried them yet in light of recent events maybe i should while i still can after all how else am i going to maintain my awesome silhouette posted in uncategorized 3 comments on being believed june 8 2012 meowser posted by meowser as some of you know i ve been very much involved with autism self advocacy and disability rights for the last couple of years in fact at the moment that is what i spend most of my time doing i go to summits and conferences and protests i organize meetings i plan activities i write essays and one of the things i can t fail to notice when comparing the disability rights movement to fa is that there actually are things to do in meatspace about disability stuff lots of them things aren t perfect by any means there are still many many instances of accessibility fail and when it comes to autism especially nonautistic parents of autistic kids often seem to think they understand what it s like to have our disability better than we do but i feel like progress is being made and most people don t blanch in horror when i tell them what i m up to in the neurodiversity movement on paper at least nothing about us without us is a concept that has traction even if people don t always give pwd the seat at the table we re promised i feel like the opposite is happening in fa if anything there s been backsliding over the last 10 years and i think i have some idea why for starters pwd don t have all of corporate america driving a giant bulldozer designed to crush us all in the name of ever increasing profit there is so much money involved in stigmatizing the fatties that even people who don t have a cup dipped into their money river are influenced by it the noise machine never ever stops and even most fat people are convinced that they deserve it i caught some flak a number of years ago when i said fat people were one of the last groups of people who believe almost universally that they re getting exactly the punishment they deserve but i still believe it s true sure people in every stigmatized group have self esteem and shame issues to deal with but with fat folks there s an extra layer of shame involved the shame that says my belonging to this group is all my fault and if i just tried harder i wouldn t belong to it even though there s no evidence that more than a handful of people ever do manage to escape it but i think there s something more going on in practice i don t really give much of a crap about mayor bloomberg banning sugar soda servings of more than 16 ounces in restaurants and stadiums i don t live in new york any more don t really care for most fountain sodas and drinking a huge cup of the stuff would just turn me into a 100 decibel gasbag anyway but in theory i think it sucks because the framing is that all fatties guzzle sugary soda nonstop and smaller cups will mean smaller asses qed in other words he and his minions never actually bothered talking to fat people to see if we were actually sucking down the pepsi like mother s milk in the first place talk to us about policies that actually concern us why bother when you can just look at one fat person doing it and extrapolate that we re all such dingbats that we don t know how many kazillions of calories that is in order for this policy to actually result in lowered weights several things would have to be established conclusively 1 almost all fat people drink lots of sugary drinks 2 almost no thin people do 3 people who do drink more than 16 ounces of sweetened drinks a day would simply stop there if no larger sizes were available in other words they wouldn t instead go for a large milkshake or blended coffee drink unaffected by the ban a beer offered in sizes up to 26 ounces at stadiums or an extra portion of said drink at full price or get their soda fix at home where it s cheaper since bottled soda from supermarkets is excluded by the ban 4 people who buy 32 or 64 ounce sweetened drinks always finish every drop all by themselves at a sitting rather than sharing it with others or saving some for another day or gasp leaving some over 5 people who are limited to 16 ounces of sugary drinks a day all lose dozens of pounds and keep them off and are normal weight forever in other words you have to establish poppycock because none of that is even a little bit true make no mistake this is all about whether fat people can be believed or not if they actually found us believable they d want to talk to us right find out how we actually live how our bodies actually function and respond to energy intake it basically comes down to are we reliable witnesses to our own experiences or aren t we sadly enough i believe most people think we re not there certainly are plenty of liars out there of all body types but whether or not someone is telling the truth should be determined by observed actions not presumed ones in other words believe people when they tell you how they live unless they give you an undeniable reason not to and you know what else if people do drink that much soda in a day so what people do plenty of things that aren t the healthiest for themselves or for other people and sometimes they re even praised for it people get oodles of headpats for never missing a day of work even if they re sick or injured for sleeping only five or six hours a night for risking their lives having cosmetic surgery or having deeply tanned skin for being tyrannical despots to their employees as long as they get results and i d way rather someone drink a double gulp of pepsi than get behind the wheel of a motor vehicle or even ride a bike in any kind of altered state or ride a motorcycle without a helmet seriously new york doesn t have better things to spend money on than the soda police like making sure people don t have to live ten to an apartment to survive of course that would mean they d have to start listening to and believing poor people too and we can t have that posted in uncategorized 11 comments a tale of two lifestyles in one body march 7 2012 meowser posted by meowser long long ago in a galaxy or at least a state far far away i was married my husband adored fast food his eating philosophy was summed up by saying what i want is to drive up point to a picture of something say i want that and have them hand it to me he wasn t much for cooking and had a serious aversion to washing dishes and other domestic tasks not that there weren t some legitimate reasons for all of this which i ll get to in a minute we were usually flat broke and overdrawn and i was constantly stressed out and exhausted from working and running around trying to prevent our phone bill and such from being shut off and moving to yet another new apartment and wasn t up to doing all the cooking and cleaning night after night so either we ate fast food or nuked something a lot more often than i would have liked i drank a lot of soda and ate a lot of stuff from convenience stores and there was not a whole lot of goody goody whole grain organic veggie goodness in my life at all i got exercise here and there but it wasn t very consistent fast forward about 10 to 15 years i m now divorced and living with a domestic partner and my life is as stable and healthy as it has ever been i cook lots eat lots of fiber and very little packaged or fast food have discovered a whole slew of nutritious grains since quitting gluten for a year my intolerance seems to have been of the temporary variety about which more later avidly attend farmer s markets and shop for organics at the fabulous local chain new seasons and exercise about twice as much as i did in the old days and there s a lot less stress for many reasons not least of which is that i understand my own disabilities now and have learned to work with them rather than against them and my partner actually demands very little of me readily cleans up after meals and takes on many of the domestic tasks i have always sucked at my soda and juice consumption has declined drastically also and i sleep much better now given all this would you guess i weighed more when i was married or more now since you guyz are so smart you probably would guess what most people would not i m fatter now by a lot you see i wasn t taking remeron then also i m getting old makes a difference am i healthier now i don t know i certainly feel much better mentally and my stomach is a much happier place but i don t even know if there s any such thing as good health only the current presence or absence of diagnosis or symptomatology clinicians can miss your diagnosis entirely and disease process can be happening even if you don t feel or see a thing your car is highly likely to do some funny shit when your mileage hits the six figure mark and it could happen long before that no matter how industrious you are about changing the oil and getting tuneups and rotating tires and if you don t have the money even to do that sort of basic maintenance it greatly increases the likelihood of something going kablooey bodies are like that too this is why i want to rip out what little is left on my scalp when people try to make health and weight all about choices and behaviors sure i could have made the choice to get divorced sooner rather than later heck i could have made the choice to stay single it s easy to say that now that i m not living in a pit of longing and loneliness for someone anyone to love me like i was before i met my xh but truthfully i was kind of a mess when i met him i was always tired i never had much energy or focus i was always depressed and anxious i was constantly dragging the undiagnosed aspie barge behind me feeling like all i did was to try to get people to like me and to fit in someplace and all i did was fail i had to work my ass off every single minute to try to understand things that nonautistic people picked up by osmosis and even then i never quite got there was all that my fault i think not so i don t think 2012 me is entitled to lecture 2002 me from on high and neither is anyone else as for my xh as blood curdling as his eating habits no doubt sound to the fresher localer and more sustainable than thou crowd even this turned out to have some basis in biology you see he had undiagnosed disabilities too among them fibromyalgia and hereditary hemochromatosis both of which put him in constant pain and completely drained his energy if you re not rich it can be extremely difficult to get whatever health issues you have properly diagnosed let alone treated his hhc was discovered by a fluke by an emergency room doctor who correctly played a hunch when ordering some lab tests otherwise he might be dead from cirrhosis now despite drinking a lot less alcohol than the average man how are you supposed to cook when even sitting at a table cutting up veggies wears you out how are you supposed to sort out your food cravings when your blood is overloaded with iron and nobody tells you and not only that as i discovered on my own food journey your brain often rejects certain foods that are allegedly good for you because of previous bad reactions ianad but my completely unscientific hunch is that the reason i was having all that trouble with wheat was because my gallbladder removal was a shock to my digestive tract that it persisted many months longer than it should have could easily be chalked up to my sooooper sensitive system i was tested extensively for celiac and other digestive diseases by both scope and blood all negative i still have problems digesting whole wheat and oats but i have plenty of sorghum amaranth quinoa and brown rice in me to keep things moving raw or undercooked vegetables can still be a problem as can certain fruits and cow s milk is still not a happy food although i can tolerate very small amounts with some lactaid now but i would not have responded well to people telling me this was all in my head or some other nonsense the reactions were real when people have a bad food encounter it will put them off that food or at least that presentation of said food that may be less likely to happen if they already have a history of liking it but more bad experiences than good will tip the balance if a mealy apple a bruised banana a bowl of mushy brown rice or some broccoli that goes down funny is their first or most recent encounter with that food it can be difficult to get them to try it again and in some cases maybe if they did try it again they would still have an unpleasant reaction because bodies are weird tm the point is it s not someone else s call to make unless they ve actually been asked for help and even then there s always something about another person you can t possibly know posted in uncategorized 7 comments can you hate my condition and not hate me february 28 2012 meowser posted by meowser recently former mets catcher gary carter passed away from a malignant brain tumor at the age of 57 and a lot of the commentary i saw on the subject came down to or sometimes was actually stated directly as cancer sucks in other words cancer sucks because it took the life of this person who we really liked they didn t mean people with cancer suck did they quite the opposite because gary carter would still have been gary carter without his having to experience glioblastoma multiforme and we d have gotten to experience a lot more gary carter without it and frankly glioblastoma multiforme is something i do not want it is something i do not want anyone i remotely care about ever to have i don t even want most people i dislike to ever have to have it it is a truly monstrous painful illness that is almost always fatal with a treatment course that can only be described as pure torture which must be undertaken for the person who has it to have even the remotest chance of survival in other words it ain t fat or for that matter autism you see nobody actually dies of being fat or autistic really either condition can possibly exacerbate other conditions but that s not the same thing as direct cause and neither of those conditions in and of themselves causes anywhere near the difficulty that is caused by people believing the world would be a better place without those of us who have them does that mean all our difficulties are socially constructed perhaps not but we won t actually kno...
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